Sandwich Jokes
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Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sandwiches there.
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What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sandwich.
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Why doesn't anybody like feminist picnics?
Because they never have any sandwiches.
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How many cannibals does it take to make a sandwich?
Two.
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What do vampires make sandwiches out of?
Self-raising dead.
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What do you call a woman that won't make a sandwich?
An ambulance.
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What did Dave Grohl say when he accidentally dropped his sandwich?
There goes my hero"
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How do you send a sandwich to someone on a computer?
in bytes
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Why do SJWs hate cannibals?
They're always man-spreading on their sandwiches.
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What do you call a woman who can't make sandwiches?
Single.
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What kind of sandwich is this?
She asks. "It cheese ma."
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What does a Super Saiyan always put on his sandwich?
Ka-Mayomayo
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Why don't women need to go to college?
Because it doesn't take four years to learn how to make a sandwich.
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Why did the feminist get fired from Panera?
Because she ate all the cookies and didn't know how to make a sandwich.
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Why is Flint MI famous for it's sandwiches?
They have the highest Pb : jelly ratio in the midwest!
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What do the members of Blackstreet like on their sandwiches?
Mayo mayo mayo mayooooooooooooooooo
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Why can't Jim's make sandwiches?
Cause it was at my grannies, isn't it!!!
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Why didn't the feminist picnic work out?
because they all refused to make sandwiches.
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Why don't golf courses ever serve sandwiches?
They always turn out to be sub par.
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When lesbians get married, which one makes the sandwiches?
Neither! Everyone knows they prefer hot pockets
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What's the difference between a sandwich and a germanwings plane?
When the sandwich drops I'm sad.
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How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut ?
Diagon alley
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How many men do a feminist need to make her sandwich?
two. One from front and another from behind.
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What is a sandwich on a ship?
A sub-marine
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When/why do feminists hate cannibals?
When they make sandwiches, because they're man-spreading.
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What do you call a Sandwich with legs?
Bready Legs
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How do you start a rave party in Africa without a soundsystem?
Glue a sandwich on the ceiling.
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Why do sandwiches never have kids?
Because they always turn out in-bread.
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What do you get when you feed an Eevee a sandwich?
A Luncheon!
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What did one redneck say to the other?
If you were anymore inbred, you'd be a sandwich.
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What do you call a reuben sandwich with a horn?
A rye-nocerous
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Why were the sandwich fillers eyes too close together?
Because he was in-bread.
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How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?
On rye on rye on rye.
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What does the highest paid WNBA player make?
Sandwiches.
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What's J.D. Salingers favorite thing to have in a sandwich?
RYEbread....
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Whats the problem with feminist picnics ?
None of them make the sandwiches.
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How do we know that God isn't a woman?
Because we're not all sandwiches
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How do we know God is not a woman?
Because the Earth is not a sandwich!
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Why was the feminist picnic cancelled?
because nobody made sandwiches
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Why are women terrible drivers?
Because making sandwiches behind the wheel is a lot harder than making them in the kitchen.
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Why are sandwiches better in space?
They are always a bit METEOR!
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What do WNBA players make?
Sandwiches. Friend told me this today and had to share
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Where does a guru get his sandwiches?
New Delhi
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What do you call the people who make sandwiches at Subway?
Sub humans.
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How do you tell a transgender from a real woman?
The quality of the sandwich.
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How do you know that God isn't a woman?
Because I'm not a sandwich.
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Where does a sandwich go when it gets good grades?
Honor roll.
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How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?
Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.
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Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?
They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."
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How can you tell when there's an elephant in your sandwich?
When it's too heavy to lift.
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What's the difference between a sandwich and a baby?
Doesn't matter, they both taste the same.
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What was Nero's favorite kind of sandwich?
A Plebeian J
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How does Bob Marley like his sandwiches?
Wi' jam in
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How do you email a sandwich?
In bytes.
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What does a memelord put on his sandwich?
L-mayo
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How do we know God's not a woman?
We're not sandwiches.
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What did the bacon say to the sandwich?
This club can't even handle me right now
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What does a astronaut put in a sandwich?
Space Jam
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Why do geologists love sandwiches in the field?
Because they can get their whole grains.
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What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?
Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.
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Why would you never starve in the desert?
Because of all the sandwiches there.
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What do you call an Inbred cow?
A sandwich!
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What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich?
What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth
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What does Fabrizio like to put on his sandwiches?
Mustardo!
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Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?
Because she refused to make a sandwich
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Where do weightlifters get their sandwiches?
Subwhey.
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Where did the Muslim go for his sandwich?
Aaaaaaaaallah Snackbar.
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What do you call food between two slices of bread?
a sandwich
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What do you call the electronic process of making a sandwich?
A sub routine.