Sandwich Jokes

  • Why can't you starve in the desert?

    Because of all the sandwiches there.

  • What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

    A sandwich.

  • Why doesn't anybody like feminist picnics?

    Because they never have any sandwiches.

  • How many cannibals does it take to make a sandwich?


  • What do vampires make sandwiches out of?

    Self-raising dead.

  • What do you call a woman that won't make a sandwich?

    An ambulance.

  • What did Dave Grohl say when he accidentally dropped his sandwich?

    There goes my hero"

  • How do you send a sandwich to someone on a computer?

    in bytes

  • Why do SJWs hate cannibals?

    They're always man-spreading on their sandwiches.

  • What do you call a woman who can't make sandwiches?


  • What kind of sandwich is this?

    She asks. "It cheese ma."

  • What does a Super Saiyan always put on his sandwich?


  • Why don't women need to go to college?

    Because it doesn't take four years to learn how to make a sandwich.

  • Why did the feminist get fired from Panera?

    Because she ate all the cookies and didn't know how to make a sandwich.

  • Why is Flint MI famous for it's sandwiches?

    They have the highest Pb : jelly ratio in the midwest!

  • What do the members of Blackstreet like on their sandwiches?

    Mayo mayo mayo mayooooooooooooooooo

  • Why can't Jim's make sandwiches?

    Cause it was at my grannies, isn't it!!!

  • Why didn't the feminist picnic work out?

    because they all refused to make sandwiches.

  • Why don't golf courses ever serve sandwiches?

    They always turn out to be sub par.

  • When lesbians get married, which one makes the sandwiches?

    Neither! Everyone knows they prefer hot pockets

  • What's the difference between a sandwich and a germanwings plane?

    When the sandwich drops I'm sad.

  • How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut ?

    Diagon alley

  • How many men do a feminist need to make her sandwich?

    two. One from front and another from behind.

  • What is a sandwich on a ship?

    A sub-marine

  • When/why do feminists hate cannibals?

    When they make sandwiches, because they're man-spreading.

  • What do you call a Sandwich with legs?

    Bready Legs

  • How do you start a rave party in Africa without a soundsystem?

    Glue a sandwich on the ceiling.

  • Why do sandwiches never have kids?

    Because they always turn out in-bread.

  • What do you get when you feed an Eevee a sandwich?

    A Luncheon!

  • What did one redneck say to the other?

    If you were anymore inbred, you'd be a sandwich.

  • What do you call a reuben sandwich with a horn?

    A rye-nocerous

  • Why were the sandwich fillers eyes too close together?

    Because he was in-bread.

  • How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?

    On rye on rye on rye.

  • What does the highest paid WNBA player make?


  • What's J.D. Salingers favorite thing to have in a sandwich?


  • Whats the problem with feminist picnics ?

    None of them make the sandwiches.

  • How do we know that God isn't a woman?

    Because we're not all sandwiches

  • How do we know God is not a woman?

    Because the Earth is not a sandwich!

  • Why was the feminist picnic cancelled?

    because nobody made sandwiches

  • Why are women terrible drivers?

    Because making sandwiches behind the wheel is a lot harder than making them in the kitchen.

  • Why are sandwiches better in space?

    They are always a bit METEOR!

  • What do WNBA players make?

    Sandwiches. Friend told me this today and had to share

  • Where does a guru get his sandwiches?

    New Delhi

  • What do you call the people who make sandwiches at Subway?

    Sub humans.

  • How do you tell a transgender from a real woman?

    The quality of the sandwich.

  • How do you know that God isn't a woman?

    Because I'm not a sandwich.

  • Where does a sandwich go when it gets good grades?

    Honor roll.

  • How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

    Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

  • Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

    They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

  • How can you tell when there's an elephant in your sandwich?

    When it's too heavy to lift.

  • What's the difference between a sandwich and a baby?

    Doesn't matter, they both taste the same.

  • What was Nero's favorite kind of sandwich?

    A Plebeian J

  • How does Bob Marley like his sandwiches?

    Wi' jam in

  • How do you email a sandwich?

    In bytes.

  • What does a memelord put on his sandwich?


  • How do we know God's not a woman?

    We're not sandwiches.

  • What did the bacon say to the sandwich?

    This club can't even handle me right now

  • What does a astronaut put in a sandwich?

    Space Jam

  • Why do geologists love sandwiches in the field?

    Because they can get their whole grains.

  • What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

    Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

  • Why would you never starve in the desert?

    Because of all the sandwiches there.

  • What do you call an Inbred cow?

    A sandwich!

  • What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich?

    What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth

  • What does Fabrizio like to put on his sandwiches?


  • Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?

    Because she refused to make a sandwich

  • Where do weightlifters get their sandwiches?


  • Where did the Muslim go for his sandwich?

    Aaaaaaaaallah Snackbar.

  • What do you call food between two slices of bread?

    a sandwich

  • What do you call the electronic process of making a sandwich?

    A sub routine.