School Jokes

  • Why were the yearbook students expelled?

    They shot the whole school.

  • Why didn't anyone take the school bus to school?

    I wouldn't fit through the door.

  • What is a feminists least favourite subject at school?


  • Why are you late Joseph?

    Joseph: Because of a sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late Joseph: The sign said "School Ahead Go Slow!"

  • Where is your homework?

    Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

  • Why didn't the principal of the school for the blind allow his students to go duck-hunting?

    He knew that some of them wouldn't miss the blind ...

  • Why did the jellybean go to school?

    A. Because he wanted to be a smarty

  • What's a skunk's favourite game in school?

    Show and smell!

  • What type of school did Sherlock Holmes go to?

    Elementary :)

  • Why do Mexican students act like they own the school?

    Because there mom cleans it and there dad fixed the roof

  • Why did reddit's admins go back to school?

    because they can't spell "read it".

  • What are you going to be when you get out of school?

    An old man!

  • How's school, Hannah?

    Really tough, dad." They're calling you Hannah Banana, aren't they "No-" WHY THE HELL NOT

  • What are eukaryotes' least favorite subject in school?


  • What 3 candies do you find in school?

    Redhots, DumDums, and smarties.

  • What's the difference between a white guy and a pizza?

    A pizza doesn't shoot up a school.

  • Why do people shoot up schools?

    Because it increases the average IQ of the world. It's a public service.

  • Why didn't you go to school today?

    Little Banana: Because I didn't peel well.

  • What was the seal's favorite subject in school?


  • Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf?

    In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)

  • Why did the algae end up at school?

    She wanted to buy an algae bra.

  • What do you mean the school must be haunted ?

    Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

  • What do you call an ant who skips school ?

    A truant !

  • What do you call a movie about a low-magnitude Iron ion that skips school?

    Ferrous Bueller's Day Off

  • Why was Biggie hungry at school?

    He forgot Tupac his lunch!

  • When does Eminem leave school?


  • What's the difference between a Canadian and an American?

    Canadian knows the difference between a school and a shooting range.

  • Why do Apes love to go to school in bad neighbourhoods?

    They like any jungle - even a blackboard jungle!

  • What do stoners ride to school?

    The cannibus

  • What time do you get up in the morning ?

    About an hour and a half after I arrived at school

  • What happened to the naughty little witch at school?

    She was ex-spelled.

  • Why did the laptop memory have such a hard time in school?

    Because he was SO-DIMM!

  • What's the favorite subject of young witches at school?


  • What grades did Fidel Castro get at school?

    Full Marx

  • What did you learn in school today?

    Not enough I have to go back tomorrow!

  • Why was the broom late for school?

    It over-swept

  • Why did Cyclops close his school?

    He only had one pupil.

  • Where do galaxies go to college?

    University! Happy 1st day back to school to many of you :)

  • What do Mexicans write in school?


  • How was your first day of school?

    5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back

  • Why was Jon walking backwards on the first day of school?

    A: Everyone kept saying it was back to school time.

  • What advice would you give to a fish?

    Stay in school and keep up with current affairs.

  • Where do hippos go to school?

    The Hippocampus!

  • Why didn't Ronda go to Prom?

    she got Holm schooled told me to go here .

  • What's the first step in getting accepted to carpentry school?

    Submitting a stool sample.

  • How's my kid doing in school?

    T: How's my kid doing in school I hate parrot teacher conferences

  • How many girls a boy need to shoot a school?


  • Why does Juan walk around the school like he owns the place?

    Because his dad built it and his mom cleans it

  • Who is always your friend at school?

    Your princi-pal.

  • Why was the ghost uneducated?

    He was too ghoul for school

  • How do you like going to school?

    Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

  • What do condoms and taxes have in common?

    Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.

  • What time is it when a Muslim immigrant brings a clock to school in Texas?

    Time to get a new principal.

  • Why are school shooters more likely to be white people?

    White people actually go to school. Black people stay home and shoot people in their own neighborhood.

  • What subject are snakes good at school ?

    Hiss-tory !

  • Why couldn't Muhammad pick his wife up from childcare?

    Because Muslim girls can't go to school

  • What is the difference between a terrorist hideout and a school?

    How should I know? I just fly the drones.

  • What did the school in Egypt finally get?

    A new bus.

  • Why do Asian students do so well in school?

    Because an Asian without A's is a sin

  • What do you call 10 Mexican kids in a school?

    A construction site

  • Why did a Mexican girl get pregnant?

    She was told to do an essay in school.

  • What's with people thinking white people shoot up schools?

    I'm white and I have only shot up like 2 schools.

  • What's the difference between a School and an ISIS training ground?

    I don't know man, I just fly the drone

  • Why is school in Mexico a lot harder?

    Because they have a lot of ese's

  • What is school like?

    It's terrible, we have to do all the work, but the teachers get paid.

  • Where's the school for the blind?

    It's hard to see.

  • Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor?

    Me: Because they have boring parents, darling.

  • Where do OB/GYNs go to school?


  • Why do elephants do well in school ?

    Because they have a lot of grey matter !

  • Why did a kid get arrested for taking a home made clock into school?

    Sounds like he had already done the... time

  • Why did the cheerleader get kicked out on her last day of school?

    x-post from /r/punny Because you can't end on a prep position.

  • Why did the cyclops close his school?

    Because he only had one pupil! The joke is that I have no friends

  • What's the best way to get home from school?

    Don't go to school.

  • Why was the math teacher late for school?

    He took the rhombus

  • Who did E.coli call after it lost a fight in school?


  • What did you do at school today?

    Mark: We played a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam Mark: That's right.

  • What is similar between students with mental health issues and nurses giving vaccinations?

    They both tend to shoot up schools.

  • What a glum face what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours ?

    Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it !

  • What do they do at a prom for a school of the mentally disabled?

    Slow dance.

  • What is the most common phrase used in school ?

    Pupil : I don't know Teacher: Correct !

  • Why did the schoolteacher who was in love with head of the school take out a loan with the bank?

    A: Because she had an interest in the principal.

  • Why was the fish swimming alone?

    Because he left the school.

  • How do computers measure pain?

    Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

  • What do you call a cowboy who helps out in a school ?

    The deputy head !

  • What did the buffalo say before his son left for school?


  • What's a hotdog's best subject in school?

    History. Because history has always been written by wieners.

  • What did the angry inflatable teacher say to the irresponsible inflatable child in the inflatable school?

    Not only have you let me down, you've let yourself down, and you've let the whole school down!

  • What are you doing crawling into school ten minutes late ?

    Pupil : Well you told me never to walk into school ten minutes late !

  • Where're we going?

    Who the hell did I just drop off at school !

  • When does a black person goes to school?

    When it's being built!

  • Why did the students need a ladder to get into school?

    It was a high school.

  • How do bees get to school ?

    By school buzz !

  • Why are fish so smart?

    Because they live in schools!

  • Why did the sun go to school?

    To get brighter!

  • What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?


  • Why did Ahmed take his clock to school?

    He wanted to see time fly

  • How did the Endorian get to school every day?


  • What do you call a Tardy count for a school of water bears?

    A tardigrade!

  • What did you learn in school today Son: How to write Mother: What did you write?

    Son: I don't know they haven't taught us how to read yet!

  • What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?


  • What's the difference between white students and black students?

    Black students bring the gun to school. White kids use it at school.

  • Why was the headmaster worried?

    Because there were too many rulers in school!

  • What's the difference between a school of children and a terrorist camp?

    I don't know, I just fly the drone Edit/apology: My friend said this to me, I thought I should share with you all, he said that I could post it here. 5 minutes later he told me he found it on reddit.... I'm sorry all.

  • What do teachers drink at school?


  • What's the difference between a mosque and a school?

    I don't know, I just fly the drones.

  • How do you recognize a blonde in school?

    A: They are the only ones who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the board.

  • What do you call a teacher who's always late for school?

    Mr Bus.

  • What is 007's favorite subject at school?

    Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!

  • How do Singaporean swimmers get educated?

    joseph schooling

  • How is Rock School going dear?

    It's School of ro- *sigh* nevermind.

  • What happens if you're late to extremophile school?

    You get a tardy grade. ( that explains the joke if you don't get it.)

  • Why are fish so educated?

    Because a lot of them are in schools.

  • What do moths study at school?


  • How does a communist do well in school?

    He gets good marx.

  • What does Peter Parker wish he would have went to school for?

    Web design.

  • Why did Putin forget his backpack at home when leaving for school?

    He was Russian.

  • How do bees go to school?

    They take the buzz

  • What do you call a stupid kid in pre-school?


  • How many girlfriend does a white boy need to shoot a school?


  • What is a ghost's favorite part of school?

    Spirit week.

  • What's the difference between a school and an ISIS training camp?

    I don't know, i just fly the drone

  • How was your first day at school?

    Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

  • Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

    It's ok, he woke up.

  • What do insects learn at school ?

    Mothmatics !

  • What did the Christan principal say when she kicked a student out of school?


  • What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

    He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

  • What did the pirate say to his kids when picking them up from school?

    Get in the carrrrrrrrrrrr!

  • What do elves learn in school?

    The elf-abet.

  • What do Romulans and Vulcans do with their high school drop outs?

    Send them to barber school.

  • Why doesn't ISIS Like School?

    Because they always bombed their tests.

  • What is a runner's favourite subject in school ?

    Jog-raphy !

  • What is a witch's favorite subject in school?


  • What 2 books do white American boys enjoy reading on their way to school?

    The Catcher in the Rye and Cooking For Dummies.

  • Why are you home from school so early?

    Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh really What was the question Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal "

  • Why do we have Martin Luther King Jr. Day off?

    So the black people will not be the only ones skipping school.

  • Why is a Boston painting school so special?

    Because everyone there is ahtistic.

  • Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

    He wanted to go to high school.

  • How far do burgers go in school?

    Through cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!).

  • What's the difference between a terrorist camp and a school?

    No idea man, im just flying the drone.

  • Who invented schools and teaching?

    Ed. U. Cation!

  • How can we keep the school clean Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?

    Student: "By staying home"

  • What is the first thing that vampires learn at school?

    The alphabat.

  • How do the fish get to school ?

    By octobus !

  • What's updog?

    Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u Dad (from hallway): OWNED

  • What do you call a group of students?

    A school.

  • What's the longest piece of furniture in the school?

    The multiplication table.

  • What do Santa's little helpers learn in school?

    The Elfabet!

  • How was school?

    4: Trenton said his dad likes to go outside and fight lions - laughs - oh honey - nobody would name their kid Trenton

  • How did the snow man get to school?

    He took his icicle

  • Why did the piglets do badly in school?

    They were all slow loiners.

  • How well did the sailor do in school?

    Not bad actually, he got high 'C's.

  • What does a Gorilla learn first in school?

    The Apey-cees!

  • What are some good fruit jokes?

    My friend is doing a video project for school and needs fruit jokes.

  • Why did the corn maze go back to school?

    It was tired of working in a dead end field.

  • Where did the piglets study their ABC's?

    At a school for higher loining.

  • How can we keep our school Clean?

    Student : By Staying at home. :p