Sell Jokes
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Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?
because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)
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What do you call a man who sells clockwork toys?
A Wind-up Merchant.
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When the boy broke his knee, where did he go to get a new one?
At the butcher shop, where they sell kid-knees.
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What do you call a business that doesn't sell Apple's sea monster?
A bus
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How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man?
pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)
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Why was the black man selling drugs?
He was a pharmacist.
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How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing?
HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!
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What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer?
By selling your camera.
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What's the Harlem shake?
Me: I don't know, I think they sell them at Burger King
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Why did the hacker start selling his services?
So he could make his 4Chan.
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Why didn't the monk sell his temple?
Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:
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What part of America can't sell full sized soft drinks?
Minnesota.
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Why does KFC only sell christian chicken?
Because the muslim ones are on the no-fry list.
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Why do firemen have bigger balls than policemen?
Because they sell more tickets!
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What do you call a rodent that sells illegal guns?
An Armadealer
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Why did George Lucas Cross The Road?
To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80.
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Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
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What did the Devil say to the being that sold its soul to him?
Nice doing business with you!"
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How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy?
Two: one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back.
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Who do you sell second hand bikes to?
A re-cyclist.
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Why is that?
Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want.
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Why didn't Beethoven sell his house?
He put it up Fur Elise!
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What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist?
By selling your guitar.
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Which phone is most sold in Australia?
The htc M8. Oi mate
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What do you call... What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
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Why was the man selling CDs at 12:30 a.m.?
Because his mixtape was to die for...
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Who sell the products cheaper a manufacturer or a distributor?
The store guard.
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What do you call a pirate that sells things?
A sailor.
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What do old cars and dead chickens have in common?
You'll usually get more money for them if you sell them for parts
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Why was the medicine man for bald eagles arrested?
He was selling ill-eagle drugs.
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What does your Dad sell ?
Ed: Salt. Ned: Well my dad is a salt seller too. Ed: Shake.
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What's the best selling soft drink in Italy?
Dr. Pepe
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What do you call a store that sells terribly made Nun appeal?
The Bad Habit.
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What do you call a shop that sells aquatic vessels?
A boat-ique. ...I'll get my coat.
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What do you say to a black guy selling drugs?
What did you think it would be, you racist?
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How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard of hearing?
HEY! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!
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How did the gangster know the drug dealer was selling him a bad batch if meth?
He said : "Nah amine"
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What do you call a factory that sells passable products?
A satisfactory
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How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME CHOCOLATE?!
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Who did the Dyslexic Devil Worshipper sell his soul to?
Santa
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Why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore?
There are plenty there that are free. Just walk and you are bound to find at least 40. Idiot
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Why did the black man have to sell his parrot?
because polly wanted a cracker
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Why don't Black people hijack airplanes?
They'll have no one to sell it to.
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What do you call a black guy who sells flowers?
A florist.
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What is a hypocrite?
An atheist writer praying his book will sell.
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Why do Chinese people love NY?
Because they heard we sell hotdogs for $0.75 each.
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Why arent there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones Locker?
Dead men sell no snails!
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Why did the Scotsman sell drugs?
He had to get plaid.
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Why did the police officer arrest the pop machine?
It was selling coke.
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How do you sell chicken to a deaf man?
A: HEY, YOU WANNA BUY SOME CHICKEN !!!!!!!
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Why can't Democrats sell pants?
They believe in a single-pair system.
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What do you call a black man selling drugs?
A pharmacist, you racist.
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What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb?
Turned down 4 watt
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What is the difference between a black guy and a white guy that sells drugs?
One's a pharmacist and the other's a drug dealer.
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How do you sell a deaf guy a frog?
DO YOU WANT TO BUY A FROG? rip.
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Why do the cops monitor the store that sells upper-case letters for computers?
It's a shifty business.
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What does the man with two left feet ask the shoe salesman?
Do you sell flip-flips?"
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What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's
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What does your mother do for a living?
She sells shesells...I mean...Sea sells sea shells...dammit! She's...a beachside entrepreneur."
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Why do famous and rich black people stay at the Ritz?
Because they are sold out to crackers!
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How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why was the calculator salesman happy when he sold his cheapest calculator?
Because they all add up!
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Whats baked every day and sells itself?
My sister.
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Why did Bach have to sell his organ?
A: Because he was baroque.
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How much do cosmetics sell for?
Face value.
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What happened to the religious idol when it was put up at auction?
It was sold to the highest Buddha.
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Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?
Insufficient funds.
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What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown?
artificial intelligence What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair red Selling her soul for intelligence
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Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?
He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye
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How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?
Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "
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What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?
He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."
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Why is it hard to sell bibles in Germany?
Because it's a Nietzsche Market.
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Why did the poor man sell yeast?
He wanted to make some doe!
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How much for that dog?
300$" "What about the half " "I'm sorry, we only sell complete dogs."
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What do you call a posh shop that sells kitchen appliances?
Selfridges.
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Whopper at BK You hear BK is now selling a black whopper?
They are already cancelling it because it will never work and everyone wants it for free ...... lmao
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What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?
DLC.
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What does a lingerie store and a guitar store have in common?
They both sell G-strings
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What do you call an old man selling plums?
An entrepruner.
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Why don't they sell aspirin in the rainforest?
Because it would be economically unviable to market a pharmaceutical in such a vastly unpopulated area.
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How much does Nicki Minaj sell security devices for?
Pound an alarm
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How is cat food sold ?
Usually purr can !
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How do you hit those high notes?
Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.
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What is the top selling fruit in the world?
Clay Aiken.
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What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?
Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)
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Why were the ducks arrested?
They were selling quack in the park.
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Why is there cotton on top of the pills inside a pill bottle?
To remind black people they picked cotton before they sold drugs.
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Why did the duck go to jail?
A: He was selling quack.
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Why do pills bottles have cotton in them?
So they can remind black people the picked cotton before they sold drugs.
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Why did Bernie Sanders's chicken restaurant throw out so much food?
He only sold left wings.
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Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?
After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.
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What do you call a French dog that sells medicine?
Un phrarmachien!
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How is marijuana stock sold on the stock market?
Buy high sell higher.
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What do blacks and apples have in common?
If they're not being sold on a farm they're hanging from a tree. Da ho, no I didnt.
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What do they sell at aloo's snackbar?
Boom
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What's the difference between your mom and a drug dealer?
Your mom can wash her crack and re-sell it.
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Why did the cellist have to sell his instrument?
He was baroque.
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What do you call a gas station that sells crabs?
A crustacean.