Sell Jokes

  • Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

    because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

  • What do you call a man who sells clockwork toys?

    A Wind-up Merchant.

  • When the boy broke his knee, where did he go to get a new one?

    At the butcher shop, where they sell kid-knees.

  • What do you call a business that doesn't sell Apple's sea monster?

    A bus

  • How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man?

    pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)

  • Why was the black man selling drugs?

    He was a pharmacist.

  • How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing?


  • What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer?

    By selling your camera.

  • What's the Harlem shake?

    Me: I don't know, I think they sell them at Burger King

  • Why did the hacker start selling his services?

    So he could make his 4Chan.

  • Why didn't the monk sell his temple?

    Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

  • What part of America can't sell full sized soft drinks?


  • Why does KFC only sell christian chicken?

    Because the muslim ones are on the no-fry list.

  • Why do firemen have bigger balls than policemen?

    Because they sell more tickets!

  • What do you call a rodent that sells illegal guns?

    An Armadealer

  • Why did George Lucas Cross The Road?

    To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80.

  • Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?

    Because all the roads lead to Rome.

  • What did the Devil say to the being that sold its soul to him?

    Nice doing business with you!"

  • How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy?

    Two: one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back.

  • Who do you sell second hand bikes to?

    A re-cyclist.

  • Why is that?

    Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want.

  • Why didn't Beethoven sell his house?

    He put it up Fur Elise!

  • What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist?

    By selling your guitar.

  • Which phone is most sold in Australia?

    The htc M8. Oi mate

  • What do you call... What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?

    A small arms dealer.

  • Why was the man selling CDs at 12:30 a.m.?

    Because his mixtape was to die for...

  • Who sell the products cheaper a manufacturer or a distributor?

    The store guard.

  • What do you call a pirate that sells things?

    A sailor.

  • What do old cars and dead chickens have in common?

    You'll usually get more money for them if you sell them for parts

  • Why was the medicine man for bald eagles arrested?

    He was selling ill-eagle drugs.

  • What does your Dad sell ?

    Ed: Salt. Ned: Well my dad is a salt seller too. Ed: Shake.

  • What's the best selling soft drink in Italy?

    Dr. Pepe

  • What do you call a store that sells terribly made Nun appeal?

    The Bad Habit.

  • What do you call a shop that sells aquatic vessels?

    A boat-ique. ...I'll get my coat.

  • What do you say to a black guy selling drugs?

    What did you think it would be, you racist?

  • How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard of hearing?


  • How did the gangster know the drug dealer was selling him a bad batch if meth?

    He said : "Nah amine"

  • What do you call a factory that sells passable products?

    A satisfactory

  • How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?


  • Who did the Dyslexic Devil Worshipper sell his soul to?


  • Why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore?

    There are plenty there that are free. Just walk and you are bound to find at least 40. Idiot

  • Why did the black man have to sell his parrot?

    because polly wanted a cracker

  • Why don't Black people hijack airplanes?

    They'll have no one to sell it to.

  • What do you call a black guy who sells flowers?

    A florist.

  • What is a hypocrite?

    An atheist writer praying his book will sell.

  • Why do Chinese people love NY?

    Because they heard we sell hotdogs for $0.75 each.

  • Why arent there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones Locker?

    Dead men sell no snails!

  • Why did the Scotsman sell drugs?

    He had to get plaid.

  • Why did the police officer arrest the pop machine?

    It was selling coke.

  • How do you sell chicken to a deaf man?


  • Why can't Democrats sell pants?

    They believe in a single-pair system.

  • What do you call a black man selling drugs?

    A pharmacist, you racist.

  • What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb?

    Turned down 4 watt

  • What is the difference between a black guy and a white guy that sells drugs?

    One's a pharmacist and the other's a drug dealer.

  • How do you sell a deaf guy a frog?


  • Why do the cops monitor the store that sells upper-case letters for computers?

    It's a shifty business.

  • What does the man with two left feet ask the shoe salesman?

    Do you sell flip-flips?"

  • What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?


  • What does your mother do for a living?

    She sells shesells...I mean...Sea sells sea shells...dammit! She's...a beachside entrepreneur."

  • Why do famous and rich black people stay at the Ritz?

    Because they are sold out to crackers!

  • How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

  • Why was the calculator salesman happy when he sold his cheapest calculator?

    Because they all add up!

  • Whats baked every day and sells itself?

    My sister.

  • Why did Bach have to sell his organ?

    A: Because he was baroque.

  • How much do cosmetics sell for?

    Face value.

  • What happened to the religious idol when it was put up at auction?

    It was sold to the highest Buddha.

  • Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

    Insufficient funds.

  • What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown?

    artificial intelligence What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair red Selling her soul for intelligence

  • Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

    He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye

  • How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

    Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

  • What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?

    He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."

  • Why is it hard to sell bibles in Germany?

    Because it's a Nietzsche Market.

  • Why did the poor man sell yeast?

    He wanted to make some doe!

  • How much for that dog?

    300$" "What about the half " "I'm sorry, we only sell complete dogs."

  • What do you call a posh shop that sells kitchen appliances?


  • Whopper at BK You hear BK is now selling a black whopper?

    They are already cancelling it because it will never work and everyone wants it for free ...... lmao

  • What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?


  • What does a lingerie store and a guitar store have in common?

    They both sell G-strings

  • What do you call an old man selling plums?

    An entrepruner.

  • Why don't they sell aspirin in the rainforest?

    Because it would be economically unviable to market a pharmaceutical in such a vastly unpopulated area.

  • How much does Nicki Minaj sell security devices for?

    Pound an alarm

  • How is cat food sold ?

    Usually purr can !

  • How do you hit those high notes?

    Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.

  • What is the top selling fruit in the world?

    Clay Aiken.

  • What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

    Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)

  • Why were the ducks arrested?

    They were selling quack in the park.

  • Why is there cotton on top of the pills inside a pill bottle?

    To remind black people they picked cotton before they sold drugs.

  • Why did the duck go to jail?

    A: He was selling quack.

  • Why do pills bottles have cotton in them?

    So they can remind black people the picked cotton before they sold drugs.

  • Why did Bernie Sanders's chicken restaurant throw out so much food?

    He only sold left wings.

  • Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?

    After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.

  • What do you call a French dog that sells medicine?

    Un phrarmachien!

  • How is marijuana stock sold on the stock market?

    Buy high sell higher.

  • What do blacks and apples have in common?

    If they're not being sold on a farm they're hanging from a tree. Da ho, no I didnt.

  • What do they sell at aloo's snackbar?


  • What's the difference between your mom and a drug dealer?

    Your mom can wash her crack and re-sell it.

  • Why did the cellist have to sell his instrument?

    He was baroque.

  • What do you call a gas station that sells crabs?

    A crustacean.