Shake Jokes
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How do you make cottage cheese?
You shake a baby.
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What is at the bottom of the sea and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
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How many men does it take to make popcorn?
Four one to hold the pot and three to act macho and shake the stove.
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Why do pigs run into trees?
To shake out the alligators. I've never seen an alligator In a tree. That's because the pigs do such a good job.
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Why did James Bond higher a man with Parkinson's to be his butler?
He likes his drinks shaken, not stirred.
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What shakes at the bottom of the ocean?
A nervous wreck.
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What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
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How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Three, one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
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What's the motto for Child Protective Services?
You shake em' we take em!"
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Why doesn't Sean Connery have any grown up children?
He prefers them shaken, not stirred.
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How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken.
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Why did NBC add the Michael J. Fox Show to its line-up?
To shake things up on network tv.
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How do epileptics greet people?
They shake.
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Why was the dog shaking?
He had Barkinson's
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What do Palestinians and Taylor Swift have in similarity?
They both shake it off.
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What's Shaking?
Not Ali....
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How do you fit 4 guys on a bar stool?
Turn it upside-down. But how do you get them off Shake the stool. (OK, I'll leave now.)
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What do you call a fox that can't stop shaking?
Michael
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How does Michael J Fox take his martinis?
Shaken. Not stirred
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Who would win in a fight, Michael J. Fox or Taylor Swift?
Michael J. Fox he would just shake it off.
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What two things should people stop shaking because shaking hurts these things development?
Polaroid Integral Film and Babies
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How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright.
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Why is James Bond's favourite bartender played by Michael J Fox?
He doesn't need to tell him to shake the martini.
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What's red and white and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
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What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times?
Two octopuses shaking hands.
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What animal do you get when shake a pig?
a ham-stir
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Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?
Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.
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What did the Pope say to the hot atheist girl?
Shake that blasphemy
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What do a baby and a martini have in common?
I prefer both of them shaken
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How did Marty McFly react when shown what 2015 would really look like?
Gee, it's hard to say, although he did seem pretty shaken up about it.
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What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?
They think long and hard before they touch weiner.
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How does a witch make scrambled eggs ?
She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright ! 'Owl be seeing you later.'
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What does Taylor Swift tell her boyfriend when he gets toilet paper stuck on his arse?
Shake it off
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Why didn't you answer me ?
Pupil: I did I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you !
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What's Michael J Fox's favorite song?
Shake It Off
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What's the difference between Michael j. Fox and an earthquake?
Earthquakes stop shaking
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Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?
They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.
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How does Michael J. Fox deal with his Parkinson's disease?
He just shakes it off.
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What is Michael J Fox's favourite song?
Shake It Off by Tayler Swift
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What do you call a dance party in Colorado?
Shake 'n Bake.
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How are martinis like breasts?
They are better shaken, not stirred. I usually have one in my hand. One is too few and three are two many.
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What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White?
Shaking Bad.
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How do you make a strawberry shake?
You put it in a freezer!
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Who's there ! Amahl ! Amahl who ?
Amahl shook up !
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Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat ?
To see if there was any more money in the kitty !
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What's the worst part about meeting someone with Parkinson's?
Shaking hands.
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What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck!
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What happens when the man shakes?
The windows milk shake!
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What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?
A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.
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Why do little dogs shake so much?
They have Barkinson's
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How do you know you're drinking too many protein shakes?
You've had whey too much!
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What have you tried so far?
Me: Everything IT guy: Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing
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What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint?
Shake N' Bake.
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Why are protein shakes such loners?
They're whey isolate.
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What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?
It twerked.
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What do two people with Parkinson's disease do when they meet for the first time?
They shake hands.
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What's worse: Alzheimer or Parkinson?
Alzheimer. I'd rather drink my beer shaking than forget to to drink it.
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Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine?
Boy: Because he read the label and it said 'shake well before using.'
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How many kids does Adrian Peterson have?
More than you can shake a stick at
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Why is the fridge shaking so much?
It's running just fine. Probrably because it's so turned on!
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Why didn't Michael J Fox order food at McDonalds?
He got the shakes instead.
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What do a baby and an Etch A Sketch have in common?
If you don't like it, you just shake it and start over.
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What shakes and sits at the bottom of the ocean?
A nervous wreck.
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How long you two been married?
It's been thirt- (wife shaking head) teenish twenty- (still shaking) for a long time.
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Why was the deaf man sighing and shaking his head in disgust when he looked over at his next door neighbour?
Because she was *airing her dirty laundry*!!!
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What was shaken and is now stirred?
Haiti.