Shoe Jokes
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What do these shoes do?
GLINDA: Send you home D: Lame tries new pair And these G: Wait- D: clicks heels turns into hamburger
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What's a plumber's least favorite type of shoe?
Clogs.
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What kind of shoes to frogs like ?
Open toad sandals !
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What do you call someone that steals shoes?
A sneaker.
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What's a turtle's favorite type of shoe?
Green clog. (looks almost like a turtle shell)
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What did the slave master say to his slaves when they didn't want to make shoes anymore?
Just Do It"
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Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?
Mosqui-toes.
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What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
sneakers( iknow its old but its nice)
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What do you call a shoe with no grip?
A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)
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What brand of shoes does a paranoid person wear?
Sketchers
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How can you tell if a Finnish guy likes you?
He's staring at your shoes instead of his own.
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Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?
A. To remind her that "toes go in first."
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Why can't Chinese people tie their shoes?
I would love to tell you, but I am afraid the answer is a little bit lacist.
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What shoes does ninjas use?
Sneakers.
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Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?
A: The balls are lighter and you don't have to change shoes.
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What kind of shoes does Voldemort wear?
Hor-crocs.
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What pair of shoes could the ginger only wear?
The pair with no sole.
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How did Adolf tie his shoes?
With two knotzies.
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What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ?
A horse !
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Where does a dog go to buy shoes?
Reebark
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How do you get a person with podophobia to leave?
Just say "shoe".
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What's the best way to break in a new pair of shoes?
Moonwalking
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What did the shoes say to the pants?
What up, britches?
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What kind of shoes does bread wear?
Loafers.
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What's the difference between an extroverted mathematician and an introverted mathematician?
The extroverted mathematician looks at YOUR shoes when he's speaking to you.
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What kind of shoes do ninjas use?
Sneakers.
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What kind of shoes does Jack Lew wear?
Cashews.
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Why did the devil buy so many shoes?
He wanted their soles.
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What's the hardest thing about having a colostomy bag?
Finding shoes to go with it.
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Why shouldn't you buy shoes off the street?
They might be laced with something..
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What sort of shoes to ninjas wear?
Sneakers.
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How can you tell when a Software Developer is an extrovert ?
He looks at shoes when he's talking to you.
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What are a ninjas favourite type of shoes?
Sneakers!!
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How many Dornishmen does it take to shoe a horse?
Nine. One to do the shoeing, and eight to lift up the horse!
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What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.
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What's the difference between an introverted physicist and an extroverted physicist?
An extroverted physicist looks at shoes when they're talking to you.
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What shoes does a tumblr girl wear?
Ughs*
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How can you tell an engineer is an extrovert?
He looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
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What shoes to chickens wear?
Reebok bok bok
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Dad, can you put my shoes on?
I don't think they'll fit me.
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What is your guys' opinion on shoes that are a little bit too small?
Honestly, I think they're pretty tight!
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Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes?
He likes to go... bearfoot! I'll see myself out...
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What shoes are hard to wear?
Dark Soles Terrible gaming pun. My friend posted this on FB, thought I would share.
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What did the salesman at footlocker say to the customer?
Shoes wisely
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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you step on a trampoline Probally heard this but it's worth a shot
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What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet?
Shoe.
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What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland?
Wooden shoe like me to tell you. Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one
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What do you call a cat wearing shoes ?
Puss in boots !
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Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?
Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.
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What's an extroverted accountant?
One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
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How do you tell an introvert and an extrovert mathematician apart?
When talking to you, the extrovert mathematician looks at *your* shoes.
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What shoes do roosters wear?
Chickenstocks
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What type of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers
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Why do shoes get sad... Why do shoes get sad when they lose their matching shoe?
Because they lost their solemate
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How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
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Where does an octopus go to buy shoes?
Inke
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What is a chemist's favorite brand of shoes?
Vans of der Waals
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Where do shoes receive their military training?
Boot Camp
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What does it say on the door of the Microsoft store?
No shirt, no shoes, no Surface.
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What's a pedo's favorite kind of shoe?
White vans
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How can you tell if a Redditor is an extrovert?
During any conversation he's looking at YOUR shoes.
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What is the difference between a banjo and a trampoline?
You don't have to take your shoes off to jump on a banjo.
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What kind of shoe does Mr. T wear?
T-shoes!
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What did the shoe say about the customer who didn't like that it had yellow shoestring?
That's lacist.
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What's the difference between a pair of shoes and a ginger girl?
You try your best to keep your shoes from getting wet when you go to town.
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Why cant Gingers make shoes?
They wouldn't have a sole.
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How can you tell if an engineer is an extrovert?
They look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.
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When is the only time when No shirt no shorts no shoes gets you service?
If you're a surfer and you're getting head.
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Why can't you get cell phone service when you're naked?
Why can't you get cell phone service when you're naked No shirt, no shoes, no service.
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How can you tell when an accountant is extroverted?
He looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
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What's the advantage of being black in Africa vs black in America?
Nobody can point at your shoes and say "What are thoooooooooose?!"
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How do you know when an introvert is interested in you?
They are looking at your shoes, rather than their own.
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Whats the difference between an Introverted Engineer and an Extroverted Engineer?
Introverted Engineer looks at His shoes when he's talking to you. Extroverted Engineer looks at Your shoes when he's talking to you.
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How do you know if an introvert likes you?
He looks at your shoes instead of his
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What's the difference between an Engineering student and an Arts student when tying their shoes?
The arts student gets a mark for it.
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How did the alien tie his shoes?
With an astroknot.
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How do you always keep your shoes tied?
Replace the laces with earphones.
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Where'd you get those shoes?
Me:"I've had these for years. Is that a new grill I saw " H:"Nope just cleaned the old one" *Marriage lies
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Whats the difference between a Ginger and a Shoe ?
The shoe has a sole
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How do you know an engineer is an extrovert?
He stares at shoes while he talks to you.
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Why did the introvert polish his shoes regularly?
So he could look at others' faces.
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What kind of a shoe has a problem?
An issue.
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Is there a hole in your shoe?
No… Then how’d you get your foot in it?
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How can you tell an introverted Techie from an extroverted Techie?
An extroverted Techie looks at *your* shoes when he's talking to you.
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What do you call the belief that one kind of shoe is better than another?
Shoepremacy.
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How can you tell when a Serbian girl isn't wearing any underwear?
By the dandruff on her shoes.
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Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
Toes go in first!
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What are a NEET's favorite type of shoes?
REEEEEEEEEEEEBOKS
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What do you get when you put a tomato in your mothers shoe?
A spanking
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How do you tell who the extroverted engineers are?
They're the ones who look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.
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What shoe can fit 206 million feet in it?
Honshu!
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What should you do before you criticize Pac-Man?
WAKA WAKA WAKA mile in his shoes.
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What are a plumbers least favorite kind of shoe?
Clogs.
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What kind of shoes does a thief wear?
Sneakers
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What brand of shoes do chickens wear?
Reebok bok bok
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What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline.
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What kind of shoes does Solid Snake wear?
Sneakers. Huehuehue.
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What's a kidnapper's favorite kind of shoes?
White Vans
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Why do handicapped people wear shoes?
Because if they didn't their local gas station would turn a blind eye.
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Whats the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
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What should you do before criticizing Pac-Man?
WAKA WAKA WAKA mile in his shoes
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Why do black people spend so much on their shoes?
You would to if you had such a long walk home.
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What's the difference between a drummer and shoes in a dryer?
Nothing.
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What kind of shoes do Frogs wear?
Open Toad sandals... I'll show myself out - thank you
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Why couldn't the shoes go out and play?
A: They were all tied up.
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What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby?
I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline
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What kind of shoes do bears wear?
None because they go barefoot.
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Why do people in wheelchairs wear shoes?
Do they think they're gonna magically start walking
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Why did the mother bear ask the baby bear to wear shoes before he ran through the forest?
Because he was barefooted!!!
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What kind of shoes do thieves wear?
Sneakers.
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What shoes does Brad wear?
Loafers!
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When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?
And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.
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Why didn't the grizzly wear any shoes?
He wanted to go bear foot.
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Why do Canadians say aboot?
Because there is too much snow to wear shoes.