Shower Jokes

  • What is the best part about taking a shower?

    Not being able to see yourself in the mirror afterward.

  • Why did France really surrender to Germany?

    Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.

  • What's the best part about showering with an eight year old girl?

    Slicking her hair back and making her look like a six year old boy.

  • Why can't you take a shower with a pokemon?

    Cause they'll Pikachu

  • Why did the man take a shower?

    He was a thief

  • Where does He-Man keep his towel?

    BY THE SHOWER OF GREYSKULL!!! I wrote this joke today. Feel free to steal it.

  • What do you call a German taking a shower?

    A Showerkraut.

  • Why can you not shower with a Pokemon?

    Because they'll Pikachu

  • Why don't you take a shower with a Pokemon?

    He might Peek at Chu!

  • Why do you take baths in milk?

    I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."

  • Why do people in Afghanistan air dry after they shower?

    Because of the towel ban

  • What's the difference between my shower and everyone?

    My shower gets turned on by me.

  • What do a prison and a concentration camp have in common?

    What do a prison and a concentration camp have in common? In both people don't feel like showering.

  • What's the reason my shower isn't working?

    You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.

  • Why are Ethopians so fit?

    Because they have to run around in the shower to get wet.

  • Why shouldn't you let a Pokemon take a shower with you?

    He might Pikachu.

  • What's the best part about showering with a 5 year-old?

    The water washes away her tears

  • Why is it called Justice League of America?

    Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

  • What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower?

    A bat mat.

  • What do you call a girl that gives head in the shower?


  • How does John Marston take a shower?

    1st he gets nice and wet, then he dies of drowning

  • Why did the prisoners switch to liquid soap in the shower?

    Because it's harder to pick up.

  • Why does Peter Parker have a shower in his apartment?

    He can't get out of a bath.

  • Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat?

    She wanted to wash up on shore

  • Why should you never take a shower with a pokemon?

    Because it may Pikachu.

  • What do comic book collectors use in their hair when they shower?

    Mint conditioner.

  • What does a Dalek do in the shower?


  • Why don't they have showers on airplanes?

    Because of the towel ban.

  • What does Spock sing in the shower?

    What does Spock sing in the shower? I'll stop the world and meld with you!

  • Why did the burglar take a shower?

    He wanted to make a clean getaway

  • What are you gonna do today?

    Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

  • Who never gets his hair wet in the shower?

    A bald man.

  • What's the best thing about an 8 year old in the shower?

    You can slick her hair back and make her look 6.

  • How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower?

    100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.

  • What's the best part about taking a shower with an 11 year old girl?

    If you slick her hair back, she looks like an 8 year old boy.

  • How did I get here?

    I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.

  • Which room will you be working out in?

    Me: None of them, I just need to take a shower.

  • Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?

    He was expecting showers.

  • How good are the showers at Auschwitz?

    They're to die for.

  • Why does the Pope shower with his briefs on?

    He doesn't like to look down on the unemployed.

  • Why shouldn't you shower with a Pokemon?

    It might Pikachu.

  • Why didn't Wilma let Fred in when he was banging at the door?

    Because she was in the shower and didn't hear him because the elephant stump was on full blast.

  • What's the best part about showering with a 7 year old girl?

    You slick their hair back and you've got a 7 year old boy.

  • Why shoudn't you take you Pokemon cards to the shower?

    Cuz Pikachu might Pik a Chu

  • What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower?

    A toe-mat-o.

  • Why don't dirty commies shower?

    Because they don't want to wash away their Marx.

  • Who cares if you pee in the shower?

    The bride and all her guests, apparently.

  • What do you do to relax?

    I enjoy people watching. - The most relaxing thing for me is singing in the shower. - I know.

  • Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?

    The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.

  • Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic?

    Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower.

  • Why did the leper return to the shower?

    He forgot his head and shoulders.

  • Why did the programmer die in the shower?

    He followed the shampoo instructions.

  • What's your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom?

    Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.

  • What is the best part about showering with a 14 year old girl?

    If you slick her hair back just right, she looks nine!

  • Why do priests wear underwear in the shower?

    They don't like to look down on the unemployed

  • What is an umbrella doing in the shower?


  • How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

    Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream.