Sing Jokes

  • Why did the little pig try to join the Navy?

    He loved to sing "Oinkers Aweight"

  • What song to snakes like to sing ?

    Viva Aspana !

  • Why can't the insecure fish sing well?

    He's never comfortable in his own scales.

  • What is the difference between a black person and a tire?

    The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains.

  • What kind of church music do they sing in Finland?

    FINNISH HYMN!

  • What did the asian couple name their black baby?

    Sum sing wong

  • What is green, sings and can be found in the fridge?

    Elvis Parsley

  • What do internet football fans sing?

    E we go E we go E we go!

  • Why was the attorney kicked out of choir?

    All she could sing was, "Law, law, law, law, law, law, law."

  • Why does Beyonce sing "To the left, to the left?

    Because black people have no rights

  • Which joke has the maximum HOT Nuns in it?

    You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)

  • What happens if you sing country music backwards?

    A: You get your job and your wife back.

  • What do you call a pachyderm that sings jazz?

    Elephants Gerald

  • Who sang the song "my own worst enemy"?

    Them: I think it's Lit Me: I mean I like the song but I wouldn't call it lit...

  • What did Jeffrey Dahmer sing as he went to the refrigerator?

    My Bologna had a first name.

  • What does Peter Gabriel sing on the toilet?

    I am the extruder...

  • How many Irish folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

    Two. One to change the bulb and one to sing about how grand the old bulb was.

  • What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?

    Freeze a jolly good fellow

  • How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: Seven one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.

  • What are your intentions with our daughter?

    Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me

  • What do "Jingle Bells" sung by Mike Tyson and a green and red g-string have in common?

    They're both Christmith Thongs.

  • Why is Dave Mustaine described as "heavy metal"?

    Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)

  • What do elephants sing at christmas ?

    Noel-ephants Noel-ephants...

  • What do you call a canadian girl that can not sing?

    Justin Bieber

  • What is the difference between a pitbull and a Golden Retriever?

    A Golden Retriever can sing better.

  • What happens when you sing a country music song backwards?

    You get your wife, truck, and land back.

  • How many country stars does it take to change a light bulb?

    Six-1 to change the bulb and 5 to sing about how much they miss the old one.

  • What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

    Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

  • Why does Beyonce sing the song "to the left"?

    Because black people have no rights...

  • What's the difference between a black guy and snow tires?

    Snow tires don't sing when you put their chains on.

  • Why did Beyonc sing "to the left, to the left"?

    Because black people don't have rights.

  • What did the dead blues musician sing?

    Didn't wake up this morning..."

  • What do post-impressionist painters sing when painting a Frozen landscape?

    Let it Gogh!

  • Why Beyonce?

    Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights...

  • How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem?

    Oh secant, you say "

  • Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?

    A: The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!

  • What do you call a computer that sings?

    A Dell

  • How can you tell an old person from a young person?

    An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time.

  • What do owls sing when it is raining ?

    Too wet to woo' !

  • What's blue and sings alone?

    Dan Ackroyd.

  • What kind of computer can also sing?

    A Dell.

  • What's the difference between snow tires and slaves?

    Slaves sing when chains are put on them. PS - im going to church today to beg for forgiveness

  • Whats the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

    Mick Jagger sings eh you, get offa mai cloud, but the Scottish farmer says eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!

  • Who sang at the funeral of those who died in a railroads arson?

    Adele. Some one set fire to the train

  • What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?

    Happy Birthday to MOO Happy Birthday to Moo

  • What genre can't Ed Sheeran sing ?

    Soul

  • What did the pony say when he sang with a sore throat?

    Sorry, I'm just a little hoarse!

  • What do you call a black person that cant sing?

    A rapper

  • Why did the boy bring a ladder to chorus?

    A: He wanted to sing higher!

  • What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?

    Jungle Bells Jungle bells.. !

  • How does Times Square start the new year?

    By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."

  • Who knows how to sing Mariah Carey songs?

    Not Mariah Carey

  • Why do they say "Amen", not "Awomen"?

    Because they sing "hymns" not "hers"

  • What is this alien looking thing in a wig trying to sing?

    Oh wait thats Nicki Minaj. Why would an alien in a wig pick Nicki Minaj as a name

  • How do you stop the protests in Charlotte?

    Sing the nation anthem they will sit down

  • Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor?

    because Sam sung better than him

  • What do you call a search engine that sings Christmas songs?

    Michael google.

  • Why did Florence Welch sing 'Sweet Nothing'?

    Because she was out of lemo-nada. It's okay guys, i'll let myself out...

  • How do pirates sing the ABC's?

    abcdefghijklmnopq AAAAARRRRRR stuvwxy and z

  • What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?

    Happy Birthday To Gnu!"

  • What song do the zombies of Westeros sing?

    The Brains of Castamere.

  • Why does Beyonce sing, "To the left, to the left!"?

    Because black women have no rights.

  • What rock group have four men that don't sing?

    Mount Rushmore.

  • What do the Greeks sing while at sea?

    your boat, gently down the stream...

  • What Journey song to Chinese people sing at funerals?

    Don't Stop Bereavin'

  • Why can't dwarfs sing?

    Because they can't reach the high notes. Bonus: how does dwarves communicate? Smalltalk.

  • What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy ?

    I must throw that doggie out the window !"!

  • Which song would an exception sing?

    Can't catch me - Avicii

  • Why can't Gingers sing RnB music?

    Because they don't have any soul.

  • Why do the say "Amen" in church but not "Awoman?

    Because they sing hymns, not hers!*

  • Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time?

    Because she was an operetta (operator).

  • What does Sting have in common with a snitch?

    They both sang at the police.

  • What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

    All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

  • What do you call a bodybuilder that can't sing?

    Muscle tone deaf.

  • Which four-member rock group doesn't sing or play music?

    Mount Rushmore.

  • How many native Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

    About seven. One to change the bulb, six to sing the song.

  • Who sung?

    Sam. Samsung

  • What do you call an elf that sings?

    A wrapper.

  • Why does Helen Keller play piano one-handed?

    She sings with the other hand.

  • What type of computer sings well?

    Adell.

  • What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

    God save the kin Happy Thanksgiving!

  • What did the Japanese Journey covers band sing at the funeral?

    Don't stop, bereaving!

  • Why do fish always sing off key?

    You can't tuna fish.

  • What song do you sing if you're not a fan of Christmas?

    Sigh-lent night

  • Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?

    Because she used the other to sing

  • What does Debbie Reynolds sing in heaven?

    Good mourning, good mourning, good mourning!!!

  • Why do people say amen instead of awomen at church?

    Because they sing hymns, not hers.

  • What song did Scar sing when he fixed his car horn?

    Beep repaired...

  • What did Adele say when she crossed the road?

    sing* Hello from the other side!

  • What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman?

    The Rolling Stones sing "Hey You! Get off of my cloud!" A Scotsman shouts "Hey Mcleod!! Get off of my ewe!"

  • What song do burgers sing on the job?

    Gristle While You Work!

  • Who sings "Love me tender" and makes Christmas toys?

    Santa's little Elvis.

  • What do you call someone who sings about mints?

    A "Minstrel".

  • Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?

    Because she uses the other one to sing.

  • Which songs do planets sing?

    Neptunes.

  • What are your symptoms?

    I can't laugh and I can't sing. I'm finding it hard to do anything!"

  • How many country singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and another to sing about all the good times they had with the lightbulb.

  • How can Ozzy Osbourne possibly sing that?

    when Tony Iommi is standing right next to him, alive and well.

  • What old-time song is the burgers' favourite?

    Hammy' - as sung by Al Jolson!

  • Why does Bono sing acapella when he's feeling down?

    It takes the edge off it

  • Why is that whenever we talk about pokemon, we sing the theme song?

    Because I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.

  • What chews on trees and sings?

    Justin Beaver

  • What song do pigs sing on New Year's Eve?

    Auld Lang Swine.

  • What Christmas Carol do they sing in North Korea?

    We Three Kims

  • What does Spock sing in the shower?

    What does Spock sing in the shower? I'll stop the world and meld with you!

  • What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary?

    I don't know but when it sits on your electric wire and sings all your lights go out

  • What do you call a fish that can't sing?

    An out-of-tuna!

  • What do Egyptian kings sing on their birthday?

    For he's a jolly good Pharaoh. Was that bad Ye, pharaoh-nuff

  • How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One to put in the new one, and two to sing about how good the old one was.

  • What's the difference between a black person and a bicycle tire?

    The bicycle tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

  • What do I look for in a car?

    A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through.

  • What does Tarzan sing at Christmas?

    Jungle Bells

  • What do Scottish owls sing?

    Owld Lang Syne.

  • What's the difference between an erection and Colin Kaepernick?

    An erection can make it past the semis, and still stand up if you sing for it.