Sister Jokes

  • Why did your sister feed money to her cow ?

    Because she wanted to get rich milk.

  • What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?

    A washing machine only takes one load at a time.

  • What would you do without me?

    Apparently, "Your sister" was the wrong answer.

  • What did Santa say when he saw your mom, sister, and girlfriend all together in the same room?


  • What do terrorists say to their sister?


  • What do cells say when their sister shoots their foot?


  • What does alcohol free beer taste like?

    Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right.

  • What did one cell say to his sister after she stepped on him?

    Mitosis. Huehuehuehuehuehue

  • What's it called when a smell dates his sister?


  • What is Bernie Sanders' LEAST favorite band?

    SWV (sisters with voices)

  • How did the rednecks find their sister?

    Pretty good.

  • Why Don't Black People like Country Music?

    Because everytime theres a Hoedown, they think one of their sisters got shot.

  • Why don't robots have any brothers anymore?

    Because they have trans-sisters.

  • How sick are you?

    Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

  • What does the baker turned counterfeiter say?

    I make my own dough". My sister Katie came up with this one.

  • What is hillybillys fantasy?

    S&M . . . . .. Sister and Mother.

  • How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

    A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

  • Why did the grain call his sister "momma"?

    Because he was in bread!

  • What did the white guy say when he found out his sister got knocked up by her black boyfriend?

    Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!"

  • What did the redneck say to his sister?

    Oooh yeah, baby!

  • What did the priest say about consorting with the sisters of the church?

    Nun is better!

  • What did one cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe?


  • Why was this in the trash?

    Me: 6: Me: It was too good. I didn't want to make your sisters jealous.

  • Why did your sister jump out the window ?

    Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit

  • What did the Mexican princess ask her sister?

    Tijuana build a snowman

  • How do you castrate a guy from Kentucky?

    Kick his sister in the jaw.

  • Which is farther away- NY City or the moon?

    Sister: NY City. Why do ask Brother: Well I can see the moon but I can't see NY City.

  • What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

    Are you having a crisis?

  • Why do you always fight with your sisters?

    6-year-old: Because I always win.

  • Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ?

    Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

  • What do you call a sister who works for you?

    Nun of your business.

  • What do your sister and snow have in common?

    I plow both.

  • What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

    HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

  • Why did my sister go down to the fish market?

    Oh just for the Halibut!

  • Why did the oven go back to University?

    To get another degree. My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me.

  • How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

    Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

  • How do you top a car ?

    Sister: Tep on the brake tupid.

  • What should I give your sister for unzipping?

    Him : Um, ten bucks? Me : Like for WinZip. PS: Taken from

  • What does the hillbilly say when his sister is surprised?

    Well it's the right hole naw!"

  • Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast ?

    Because she wants to rise and shine.

  • Why so glum Chum?

    asked the kindly stranger. "If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister "

  • What did the little cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe?

    My toe sis!

  • Why was the nun named "NPN"?

    She was a trans-sister! I'm so sorry for wasting your precious mouse clicks on that god-awful joke

  • How do you castrate an Amish man?

    Kick his sister in the jaw.

  • What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot?

    Ow, mitosis!

  • What does a Texan do if he breaks up with his girl friend?

    He dates his other sister.

  • Why'd you name me Carson, dad?

    You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.

  • Whats baked every day and sells itself?

    My sister.

  • What did the pirate say to his sister?

    Aye sis

  • What did the cell say to his sister who stepped on his toe?


  • What did Josh say when asked if his sister was good in bed?

    I Duggar."

  • Why don't computers have any brothers?

    They are all trans-sisters.

  • Why don't you ask your sister?

    But I don't have a .........oooooh.

  • What do rednecks say after they broke up?

    We can still be brother and sister.

  • Why don't robots have brothers?

    Because they all have trans-sisters

  • When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing?

    When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

  • How did the redneck find his sister in the woods?

    A: Pretty hot

  • Why did your sister keep running around her bed ?

    Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep.

  • Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car ?

    Because she'd never be able to learn the language

  • What's love?

    Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!