Smell Jokes
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Why do farts smell?
So deaf people can enjoy them too.
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What's grosser than gross?
When a midget walks past and says your hair smells nice!
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What's colorless and smells sweet?
Chloroform SHHHH..
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Why did God make farts smell?
So that deaf people could enjoy them too.
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What do you call a man who can smell the future?
Nostrildamus
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What are green and smell like pork?
Kermit's fingers
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What's incredibly fast and smells like curry?
Usain Bolti.
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What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Show and smell!
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What to you call someone with no torso who can't smell?
Nobody knows.
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What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells?
A dead centipede.
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What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
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Why did the midget get slapped?
Because he told a woman how nice her hair smelled.
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What are sardines?
A little fish that smells like fingers.
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What do Fort McMurray and a 1998 Pontiac Sunfire have in common?
Both are full of white trash and smell like burning oil.
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What's green, slimey and smells like pork?
Kermit's finger.
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Why don't the French enjoy travelling to Northern Ireland?
Because they don't like the smell of Derry air.
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What's long, green and smells like pork?
Kermit the frogs fingers"
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What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork?
Kermit the frog's finger
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What's black and smells like Shiraz?
Tyrone Lannister
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Why do Egyptian farts smell the same?
They have toots in common.
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Where are smells made?
In the olfactory.
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Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
Because you're breaking wind.
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Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?
Kermit the frogs middle finger.
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What smells like pork?
Kermits finger
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How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off.
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What does a new Tesla car smells like?
Elon Musk
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What did one eyeball say to the other?
Between you and me, something smells.
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What's green and smells like ham?
Kermit the frog's finger
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What did the mods say when they found me giving Reddit gold to my alt account?
He who smelt it, dealt it.
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Why do women wear make up and perfume?
Because they're ugly and they smell bad.
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What do gynecologists and pizza delivery guys have in common?
They have to smell it but they can't taste it!
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What do you call breads ability to smell?
Naan sense!
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Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
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How does he smell?
A: Terrible!
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Why did the gynecologist get taken in for questioning?
He smelled a little fishy. Edit: a word.
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Why do anarchists smell so bad?
Because they're *revolting*
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Why do girls wear perfume and makeup?
Because they're ugly and they smell bad
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How do you react to the fragrance of a bottle of wine from the year 2000?
Smells like teen spirit.
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What smells of cheese and is filled with holes?
About 100 French people right now
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What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang?
A smell that keeps coming back!
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What's red like a strawberry, hard like beef jerky, smells like vinegar, and is found under your bed?
Me neither. Help.
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When do you kick a midget in the nuts?
When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.
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What's long, green, and smells like bacon?
Kermit's finger
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What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit the frog
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Why is there no scope for dealers/middle men in the field of extractive metallurgy?
Because he/she who smelt it, dealt it.
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What's yellow and smells like a zebra?
Lion vomit.
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What's in a name?
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. But, if roses were called "herpes" they'd make terrible Valentine's Day gifts.
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How do elephants smell?
A: Really bad.
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What President of the United States smells the worst?
The-Odor-e Roosevelt.
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Why do little girls put fishes down their pants?
So the can smell like big girls!
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What makes fish smell?
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."
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What does black Vin Diesel smell like?
What does black vin diesel smell like Vinegar.
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What do chemists say when they smell something that they don't like?
Pu
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What's do pot and pusssy have in common?
You can tell the quality if you can smell it across the room.
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Whats pink and smells like salmon?
trout
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Why do black people smell bad?
So blind people can hate them too
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What's green, sticky and smells like eucalyptus?
Koala vomit
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What has two holes and smells a lot?
Your nose
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What's invisible and smells like bananas?
Monkey farts
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What do beef hearts smell like?
Honey.
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When Do You Hurt a Midget?
When He is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice!
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What is worse than a carrot that smells like a snow women?
One that smells like a snow man.
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What's green and furry and smells like pig?
Kermit the Frog's finger
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Why do rednecks always smell like pickles, mayonnaise, and ham?
Because they're inbred.
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Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets?
Q: Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets? A: To smell like big girls.
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Why do you smell like weed?
Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(
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Why do women love the smell of babies so much?
Because 50% of the taste is in the smell.
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How are a pizza maker and a gynecologist the same?
They can both smell it, but they can't taste it.
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What is long, green, and smells like bacon?
Kermit the Frog's fingers.
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What is the difference between a Gynecologist and a Urologist ?
The smell of their fingers.
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What's white, black, and can smell fear?
deez nuts.
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Why doesn't the queen's farts smell?
Because it's a noble gas.
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Why did the policeman smell bad?
Why did the policeman smell bad? He was on duty.
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What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?
One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.
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What have you got on?
I've got a hard on. But I didn't know you could smell it."
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What did the baker say about her co-worker who never sleeps and always smells funky?
At yeast he's a fungi.
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What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?
I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....
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What is small furry and smells like bacon ?
A hamster !
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How many hippies does it take to change a light bulb?
Hippies can't change anything. And they smell bad.
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What's small and green and smells like pork?
Kermit's Finger.
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Why doesn't men use make-up or perfume?
Because we're beautiful and smell good!
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What is Bill Cosby's arch-nemesis?
Smelling salts.
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What do gynecologists and pizza delivery drivers have in common?
They're close enough to smell it, but can't have a taste.
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When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5?
Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad : I guess through its Beak
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What do you call an athlete that smells good?
D. O. Durant
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What happens when a clown farts?
It smells funny. --As told to me by an Engineering lead... Much facepalm ensued.
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What is the one smell you can never get out of the house, no matter what you spray or what incense you burn?
Your grandparents.
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What's got no teeth and smells?
The gearbox in the wife's car...
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How do you stop a dog smelling ?
Put a peg on it's nose !
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What's black and smells like people?
Black People
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Why do women wear make-up and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
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When is it okay to punch a midget?
When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.
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How do dinosaurs smell?
Ex-stinky
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What smells better than it taste?
A nose
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Why did lieutenant Uhura smell bad?
because William Shatner
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What smells bad and sounds like a bell?
Dung! Get it?!
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Why do farts smell so bad?
So the deaf can enjoy them too.
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When is it okay to kick a midget in the balls?
When he tells you that your wife's hair smells good.
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What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose ?
I'm not sure but I wouldn't try smelling it !
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What did Nirvana say when they drove past a burning school bus?
Smells Like Teen Spirits"
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What did Hannibal Lecter say to the philosophy professor after the lecture?
I can smell your Kant.
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What does the Illuminati smell like?
New World Odor
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What's brown and smells funny?
Clown Poo
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When do you kick a midget in the balls?
When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
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What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
Deja phew!
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What kind of tree smells like bacon?
Original ) A Porcupine!
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What does a gynocologist and a pizza man have in common?
Thay can smell the goods, but they can't taste them.
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When is the appropriate time to kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
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What did one smell say to the odor?
You stink at telling jokes."
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What's invisible and smells like carrots?
bunny farts
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Whats long and green and smells like pork?
Kermit the frogs finger.
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Which perfume do you use ?
It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife." Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her."
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What's slimy, green, and smells like bacon?
Kermits finger.
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What goes 30 miles per hour and smells like curry?
Usain Balti
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What Did One Eye Say To Another Eye?
Don't Look Now But Something Between Us Smells
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What's white and smells like black paint?
White paint
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What's invisible and smells like cough drops?
Koala farts
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What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?
Kermit The Frog's fingers.
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What did one Snowman say to the other Snowman?
Can you smell carrot?
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How does it smell?
Awful
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Why a conch shell, and why there of all places?
So that when you put your ear against it, you can smell the ocean."
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What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?
Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)
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What smells funny?
Clown poo!
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What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?
Kermit the frog's finger...
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Why does Piglett smell nasty?
He plays with Pooh.
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Why does it smell of tires?
There are two black people fighting.
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Whats that smell?
Auschwitz.
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What is something that tastes better than it smells?
A tongue
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What's Invisible and Smells Like Mice?
Cat Farts...
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What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?
What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!
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What's the downside to dating a Mermaid?
Her clam smells like fish!
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What does God smell like?
Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese
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What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?
A: Kermit the Frog's Finger
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Why do women wear perfume and makeup?
Because they're ugly and they smell bad.
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What do grandparents smell like?
Depends"
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What's it called when a smell dates his sister?
Incense!
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What's slimy, long and smells like pork?
Kermit the Frog's Finger.
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What's the difference between a walrus and a lesbian?
One smells like fish and has a mustache, and the other is a walrus.
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Why do all Egyptian's farts smell the same?
Because they have a tutankhamun!
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Why does Piglet smell?
Because he plays with Pooh.
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When do you kick a dwarf in the balls?
When he is standing next to your lady saying her hair smells nice.
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Whats long, green, and smells like pork?
Kermits finger
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What do Popeye's fingers smell like?
Olive oil.
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Which state smells the worst?
The Prostate
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What planet smells the worst?
Poopiter. This joke courtesy of my 7 year old son. He was very proud of it.
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What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
The scenter spot!
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What did one poop say to the other poop?
You smell
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What is invisible and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts
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What pick-up line works 100% of the time?
Does this smell like chloroform to you
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What is green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's fingers
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What do old people smell like?
Depends
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What did one snowman say to the other snow man?
Do you smell carrot?
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What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?
Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos.
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What does socialism smell like?
It has a Bernie smell.
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What does Bo Jackson smell with?
Bo nose
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Why did the Nevada skunk cross the state border?
To follow the smell of legal dank skunk buds.
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Why don't Superman's farts smell?
Because krypton gas is odourless.
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What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint!
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How does a blacksmith know you farted?
He smelt it
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Whats the difference between a hippie on fire and a lifetime supply of patchouli?
I don't wish for a lifetime supply every time I smell patchouli.
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Why do black men smell bad?
Because prison showers aren't very good...
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What is green and smells like pork?
Kermit The Frog's finger.
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What tastes good but doesn't smell good?
A tongue. Hehe
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Why does it smell so bad in Russia?
Everybody loves Putin!
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What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit the Frog's fingers.
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When the cat's away.....?
The house smells better !
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What's long green and smells like pork scratchings?
Kermit the frogs finger.
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What is 40ft long and smells like urine?
Line dancing at sun city
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Why do women put on makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad...
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Why do blacks smell?
So blind people can hate them too.
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What do Kermit The Frog'S fingers smell like?
Bacon.
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What's green and smells like Ms. Piggy?
The Boston Celtics
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Why do girls wear make-up and perfume?
Because they're ugly and they smell bad.
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What did the seamen say to each other when they entered a deep dark cave?
Smells fishy
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How do you know if your wine was made in the 90's?
It smells like teen spirit.
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What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?
Kermit the frogs finger...
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Why does r/jokes smell like rotten eggs?
Because it's full of bad yolks.
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What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?
Kermit's finger.
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What's long, green and smells like bacon?
Kermit the Frog's finger.
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What's green, slimy and smells like pork?
Kermit's finger
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Why do windbreakers smell bad?
Because all they do is break wind.
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How do you stop a monster from smelling?
Cut off his nose.
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What is the best use for a wet dog?
x-post from /r/MeanJokes Getting the smell of white people out of your house.
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What do you have on?
The man says, "I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it."
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Why does Piglet smell so bad?
Because he always plays with Pooh.
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What is green and smells like red paint?
Green paint. Haha
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What do you call someone who believes rotten eggs smell bad, but doesn't care?
An eggsy-stench-alist.