Step Jokes
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What's the first step of fire safety?
4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.
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What's the first rule of bug ownership?
Watch your step!
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What's the difference between a feminist and a doormat?
You might try and knock some mud off on the sidewalk before you step on the doormat.
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What do you call someone you want to be stepped on by?
A crush crush
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What do you call a Christian who fell down the stairs?
A couple of steps closer to their final destination.
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What does a panther say when it steps on ants?
ded-ant.. ded-ant.. ded-ant dedan deadANT dedandead-annnnnt # d-d-d-deadant.
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What do you call a sarcastic man who steps in poop?
Feces-tious
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What are the three steps to put an elephant into the fridge..?
1.Open the fridge 2.Put the elephant in 3.Close the fridge
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What do you call a movie about dancing robots?
Step up: transformers :v
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How do you please all the people?
Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!
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What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores?
Give it two test-tickles.
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What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?
A receding hare line.
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Why do elephants jump across rivers?
So they won't step on the fish.
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What is a crevice that is owned by someone and not allowed to be stepped into?
None of your abyss-ness
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How do I get to 280?
A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"
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How are getting popular in high school and getting a college woman pregnant similar?
Step one: penetrate the student body.
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What do you get when you step into the ring with Mohammad Ali?
Too soon
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Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Cause I stepped on it.
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Why shouldn't you go barefoot in Nigeria?
You might step on the Lagos.
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What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night?
A landmine.
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Who's skin is that?
Please step out of the vehicle sir."
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What do you say when you step on a snake?
Well that bites.
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What did the Pink Panther say as he stepped on a bug?
Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead AaaaaaaaaaAAAaaannt
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What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower?
A toe-mat-o.
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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you step on a trampoline Probally heard this but it's worth a shot
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Who likes music?
asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.
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What happened to you?
the doctor asks. "I stepped on something."
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How did the firefly react when he was stepped on?
He was delighted.
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What would you do?
Two policemen call the station on the radio. "Hello. Is that you Sarge?" "Yes?" "We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean." "Have you arrested the woman?" "No sir. The floor is still wet.
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Why do midgets refuse to wear tampons?
Because they keep stepping on the string.
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What did the sister cell say to her sister cell when she stepped on her foot?
Ow Mytosis! Credits to Amanda Damiani
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What does the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant?
Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnntttttttt Courtesy of my little cousin.
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What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on Ant?
Nothing, Pink Panther doesn't talk!
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What did King Trident say when he stepped in the whale poop?
OH CARP!!!
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What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?
Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnnnttt.
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What steps should you take if you see a dangerous animal on your travels?
Very large ones.
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What did the grape do when he got stepped on?
He let out a little wine.
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Why did the computer squeak?
A: Someone stepped on the mouse.
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What does a dog do that a man steps in?
Pants
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What did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe?
mitosis
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What's the first step to throwing a space party?
You planet.
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What would you do if someone is choking?
Take a step back.
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Why was the stair frustrated and angry?
It was tired of being stepped on by everyone!
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How much have you had to drink?
Me: Like six carrot juices Cop: Please step out of the hamster wheel
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How to climb a flight of stairs?
Step one Step two Step three
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What did the dog say after stepping off a sailboat?
Wharf!
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How does a flight of steps check out a woman?
It stares.
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What was wrriten on a sign at the entrance of a gas chamber in the Holocaust?
Watch your step
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What happens when you step on an oily asian?
Better not say. I feel like I'm already treading on a slippery slope.
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What does a dog do that you step in?
Pants.
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What do you do if you step on a landmine?
Well standard procedure is to jump 50 feet and spread over a wide area.
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How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door.
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What do you call 99 bunnies walking forward and they take one step backwards?
A receding hare line.
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What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?
Dead Ant, Dead Ant....Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant...
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What do you say to a molecular biologist who's about to step foot into the ring?
Show him what you're made of!
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What's a cardiologist's favourite kind of music?
The step.
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What would you say is your biggest flaw?
i step in in people's conversations" "i was asking *him*"
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What's the first step in getting accepted to carpentry school?
Submitting a stool sample.
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What goes cluck, cluck, cluck, boom?
A chicken stepping on a landmine.
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What did the bacterium do when its sibling stepped on its toe?
My toe sis!"
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How do you get over a fear of elevators?
Just take some steps to avoid them!
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What do a Yugo and a bath have in common?
You can't step out of them in public.
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How did the dictator make it easier for power companies to do business with neighboring countries?
He stepped down.
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What did the Zucchini say when it got stepped on?
squash*