Stick Jokes
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What happens when Santa get stuck in a chimney?
He gets claustrophobic!
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Why did the bubblegum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken's legs.
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Why are stick people extinct?
Because you can't rub two sticks together you get fire.
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What's brown ans sticky???
a stick :) haha (yes i know its super lame)
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What's a boomerang called that's not coming back?
A Stick.
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How many kids does Adrian Peterson have?
More than you can shake a stick at
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What do you get when you stick your hand in a blender?
a handshake
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What time zone are you in when you find a sheep stuck in a fence?
Mountin' time
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How do you surprise a blind man?
Stick a plunger in the toilet
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Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?
She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.
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Why is a train like a stick of gum?
A: One goes choo-choo the other goes chew-chew.
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How do you fix a broken website?
With stick e-tape.
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What kind of alcohol gets stuck in your head for days?
Red Red Wine!
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What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?
A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!
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Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?
And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?
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Why cant russians drive stick?
Because they are always Stalin!
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What sound does it make when you light a stick of dynamite in them middle of a sheep herd?
ssssssssssss boom! baaaaaaaah!
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What does a piano, tuna, and a bucket of glue have in common?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Don't ask me about the bucket of glue though... I've been stuck there for a while
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick. I'll see myself out now.
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Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia?
They were afraid of Stalin.
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What do you call a pig stuck in a topiary?
A hedgehog.
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What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
A Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
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Why couldn't the Egyptian fisherman get over the fact that his boat had sunk?
Because he was stuck in denial.
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How did the fish's tail get stuck in the anchor chain?
It was just a fluke!
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Why do black people wear lots of chains?
It's a habit that stuck from when they were slaves.
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Why didn't Bungie stick with Halo?
Because it wasn't their Destiny.
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Why are branches attached to trees?
Because they stick
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Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken.
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Why does the Avon lady walk funny?
Because her lips stick
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Why did the atom stick around?
Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.
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What do you call something brown and sticky?
A stick. I'll see myself out.
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Why did Tony cross the road?
To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, "Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"
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What do you call a broken boomerang?
A stick
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What does a stick of Big Red and a Jamaican prisoner have in common?
Dey both sinna, mon!
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What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it?
Money's tight these days!
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What did the stamp say to the envelope?
Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.
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How did the Redditor get stuck in a loop?
I don't know, check the post above me.
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What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?
Church.
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What's the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose?
One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny
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How do Eskimos make things stick together?
Igloo
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How do you get stuck in an annoying conversation with a stranger?
Ask someone vaping if you can bum a cigarette.
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What happened to the number 10?
It got stuck in 9/11
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What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?
Church.
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What did the boy say when he had trouble using glue?
I'm stuck.
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What are your best corny jokes?
I want them all! "What's brown and sticky?" "A stick."
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Why did the toilet paper stop crossing the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
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What did the woodpecker say to the doughnut?
You got the sweetest hole I ever stuck my pecker in.
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Why was the girl stuck in the revolving door for two weeks?
cuz she couldn't find the door handle
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What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quicksand?
Quatro cinqo.
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What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ?
Reptiles !
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How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?
Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.
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Which pig is she?
Me: What do you mean 4: Is her house made of bricks or sticks
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What do you call a jar of mayonnaise stuck in quicksand?
Sinko de mayo
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Why did the witch get a car with manual transmission?
Because she prefers to drive stick!
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Why did the dentist divorce the manicurist?
She tried to stick her finger in his cavity.
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Why did Plato's worst student always have stuff stuck in his teeth?
He didn't understand Flossophy!
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What do you call a Polish chicken stuck in a tree?
Poll tree!
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What's the difference between a 6 year old and a 16 year old?
Which hole they stick their finger in when no-one's looking.
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How do make a woman blind?
Stick a car windshield in front of her face.
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Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with?
Me: One who knows how to fix elevators.
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Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?
Because he was Snowden.
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How did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: By sticking to the chicken's foot.
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What do you call four Mexicans stuck in quicksand?
quattro sink-o
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What's the difference between a tuna a piano and a pot of glue..?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna What about the pot of glue reddit will ask. Hahahahaha I knew you'd get stuck there
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What's angry most of the time and wants you to stick something hard in it?
An outlet
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Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chickens foot.
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How many virgins does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one. But he will pull it back out and stick it back in again just to make sure hes got the right hole.
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What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?
Abominable! (say it out loud, slowly)
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What do a chick and KFC have in common?
Once you're done enjoying the legs, thighs and breasts your left with a greasy box to stick your bone in.
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Why is the stick attached to the roof?
Because it is sticky.
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Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?
Because he was grounded! (I'll see myself out)
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What do you call a stick with autism?
Autistic
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What's the difference between a hold-up and a stick-up?
Age
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Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer?
He wanted to have webbed feet.
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How are Chile mining companies and catholic priests different?
Chile mining companies get their minors stuck in shafts while catholic priests get their shafts stuck in minors
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Why is wintertime love making in Scandinavia dangerous?
Your tongue might get stuck to a Pole.
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Why are giraffes such good friends?
They are always willing to stick their neck out for you.
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How do you make a baby drink?
A: Stick it in the blender.
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What's the difference between a piano, a tuna fish, and a pot of glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna. ... What about the pot of glue I knew you'd get stuck.
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What is the most faithful insect ?
A flea once they find someone they like they stick to them !
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Whats ur emergency?
OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- "-of my sons mouth."
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What do you a white convict stuck between two black convicts?
An Oreo crookie
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What do you call a stick that's good at algebra..?
AN ARITHMESTICK.
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How do you stick things together like Fred Flinstone?
You add a dab of glue.
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Why doesn't Saran Wrap have any friends?
Because it sticks to itself.
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What do you do when you stumble upon a one-armed Polish man stuck in a tree?
You wave!
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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?
One's a marsupial, the other's a Geordie stuck in a lift
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What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows
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What do you call it when you get stuck into a shotgun wedding with a Czech?
Checkmate!
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return?
Stick
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What do you call a monkey holding a stick of dynamite?
A Baboom!
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What happens when you stick your hand into a jar of jelly beans?
The black ones steal your watch and the yellow ones paint your nails.
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What workout routine did Jesus stick to best?
Crossfit
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What did the alien say to the gas pump ?
Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you !
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How did the man get stuck at the Russian airport?
He got snowden.
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How is a chronic disease unlike the 9th Doctor, but like the 10th Doctor?
It sticks around for more than 1 Season, and doesn't want to go.
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What do you call a cow stuck in a hurricane?
A milkshake.
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How easy is it to get a song stuck in your head?
It's only a weem away.
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How is a lonely twig like a piece of cling wrap?
He can only stick to himself.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?
A: Make sure one is a match!
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What part of a chicken is a musical instrument?
The drumstick. (Had this joke stuck in my head for a while so felt like sharing it.)
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What do you call a guy stuck in the same job for 30 years?
A four term US senator.
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Why do aardvarks like to talk to ants?
They can stick to the subject!
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What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
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What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin?
LINE IT!"
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Why does Kim Jong Un stick out at a black gospel church?
Because he doesn't have Seoul.
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What do you call a Punjabi fellow stuck in the middle of a shark-filled ocean?
Amandeep trouble.
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What's the difference between a Chilean mining company and a Catholic priest?
One gets their miners stuck in a shaft, and the other gets his shaft stuck in a minor.
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What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple?
Worm your way out of that one then!
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I saw a nice stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the volume is stuck on ‘high’
I couldn’t turn it down.
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What did the constipated maths teacher do when he got stuck?
got a pencil and worked it out.
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Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh. - *My little brother told me this one hit me with a little bit of nostalgia.*
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How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick?
cause their cars are always Stalin
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What's the difference between a priest and a chilean mining company?
One gets its miners stuck in shafts, and the other gets its shaft stuck in minors.
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Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?
Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick.
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Why did Tigger get stuck in the toilet?
He was looking for pooh.
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Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on the new Top Gear?
It doesn't make sense, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear
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Why aren't dwarves allowed at nudist camps?
They allways stick their nose in other people's business.
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What kind of bird always sticks together?
A velcrow Courtesy of Jokels.com:
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What did the robber with an errection say?
This is a stick-up.
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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!
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What does Chick-fil-A and their CEO have in common?
Both hate when people stick beef between two buns.
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Why were the children jumping for Joy?
Because Joy was stuck on the roof.
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What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
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Where did the glue go on vacation?
Nowhere! He just stuck around!
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What is made of wood and sticky?
a Stick!
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What's hard and hairy and sticks out of your pajamas at night?
Your head.
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What's the difference between a piano, a tuna and a jar of glue?
You: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Person getting told joke: What about the jar of glue? You: I knew you'd get stuck there
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Why don't midgets ever get accepted into nudist colonies?
They keep sticking their noses into everyone else's business.
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How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.
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Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery?
Q: Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery? A: Because her career as a comic was stuck, but no matter how he tried, the Dr. couldn't pull a laugh out of her.
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Why are all Quaker truck drivers stuck in the 1980's?
Q:Why are all Quaker truck drivers stuck in the 1980's? A: Because they are Haulin' Oats!
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Why is Jesus never able to finish more than half of a crossword puzzle?
He always gets stuck on across.
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Why did the lollipop cross the road?
Cause it was stuck to the chicken. I heard that on the radio today. I LOLed.
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What did the writer say when he glued himself to his book?
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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What is a NYC nanosecond?
If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.
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What do you call a Robert on a stick?
A keBob!
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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!
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How do you turn a duck into a popular soul singer?
Stick it in microwave and turn it on until it's Bill Withers.
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What do you call a man with a shovel stuck in his head?
An ambulance because that is a serious medical emergency that requires immediate attention.
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Why shouldn't anybody help cats down a tree?
Because they're stuck up
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What lives in gum trees ?
Stick insects !
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Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia?
Because he's snowed-in
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What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue?
You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish "What about the glue " I knew you'd get stuck on that.
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What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
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What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?
ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!"
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Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
They're stuck at C for years
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Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?
It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear
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What do you call a whistleblower stuck in a blizzard?
Snowd-en
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What do you get when you cross Hilter, the Terminator, and Cthulhu?
Don't stick around to find out!
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Why did the cactus cross the road?
It got stuck to the chicken.
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What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple ?
Worm your way out of that one !
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Why did the US Informant get stuck in Russia?
He was snowed-in.
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How do you identify a baboon?
Easy, they stick out like a sore bum!
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Why were the camels wearing sandals?
To stop themselves sinking into the sand. Why did the ostrich stick its head in the sand To look at the camels who forgot to put their sandals on.
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What do you call an Oyster who is stuck in traffic?
A: A PearlJam
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Why was the marshmallow stuck to the tree?
It was taped.
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Why was the apricot late to the party?
He got stuck in a jam.
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What did you learn at summer camp?
KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods
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What's the similarity between iPhone 7 and my girlfriend?
They both let me stick it in only one place.
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What does Taylor Swift tell her boyfriend when he gets toilet paper stuck on his arse?
Shake it off
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Who is the brother of Juan Luna?
Edi si AnTWOnio Luna. Yeah yeah, the result of being stuck in the traffic. XD
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What's worse than being stuck in traffic behind a driver that's vaping?
Realizing that your being intently watched for your reaction to their sic clouds - BEST RECOGNIZE!
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Why are so many Italians named Tony?
Because when they immigrated from Italy, customs stuck a label on their lapel reading ToN.Y.
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What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths?
Lefty!
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What can a lawyer do that a duck can't?
Stick his bill up his arse.
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What do you call a cow that's swallowed a stick of dynamite?
Abominable.
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What's a dogs favorite part of a tree?
Stick? BARK!
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How do you know if a woman is hot for you?
When you stick your hand in her underpants it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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Why do pirates not know the alphabet?
They always get stuck at "C".
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What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?
Shiver me timbers!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Stuck
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How do you make a rave party in Africa?
You stick a piece of bread on the ceiling.