Street Jokes

  • Why didn't the girl cross the street?

    She didn't have the balls

  • What street in France do reindeer live on?

    Rue Dolph

  • Why do traffic lights turn red?

    You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

  • Why did the lesbian cross the street?

    She was emo.

  • Why did the 25 year old cross the street?

    To catch a charmander.

  • Why did the light turn red?

    You would too if you were caught changing in the middle of the street!

  • What is lemonade?

    A: When you help an old lemon across the street.

  • Why do I support extreme racist political parties?

    Because their aims are white up my street

  • Who let the boys out?

    Me: Woof woof woof! Her: Who let the boys out ! Me: Woof woof woof! Her: KIDS ARE IN THE STREET! Me: I'm going..

  • How could the pimp always easily locate his ho?

    Because, she really stands out on the street.

  • What did the viola say to her daughter before crossing the street?

    You better C or you'll B

  • What's it called when Jesus walks across the street?

    A cross walk

  • What is the definision of mixed feelings?

    When your wife says that you have the largest in your street.

  • What do you call Jimmy Savile walking down the street?

    British ... a paedestrian... *grabs coat, shuffles out of room in silent shame*

  • What do you say to two dust particles making out in the street?

    Get a broom, you two.

  • What's a one way streets favorite band?

    One Direction

  • What is a dog who crosses the street twice in an hour?

    A double crosser.

  • Why shouldn't you buy shoes off the street?

    They might be laced with something..

  • Why did the chicken knock knock?

    Q - Why did the chicken cross the road? A - To see the idiot across the street. Q - Knock knock. (Who's there?) A - The chicken.

  • Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit?

    A: From crawling across the street when the sign said: "Don't Walk."

  • Why did Sally drop her ice cream while crossing the street?

    She got hit by a Bus.

  • What are we going to do?

    The other replied "Quick turn the car into a side street."

  • Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?

    A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "don't walk".

  • How did Jesus get to the other side of the street?

    He used the Cross Walk.

  • How can you tell if the kid that stole your bike is half black and half polish?

    He's running down the street with the bike under his arm.

  • Why did it take three burly Boy Scouts to help the old lady across the street?

    A: Because she didn't want to go.

  • Why didn't the police shoot the polarbear who was wandering peacefully around the streets?

    Because he was white.

  • Which street does the police officer live in?

    Let's be Avenue

  • Why did the console peasant cross the street?

    To render the building on the other side!

  • Who's there ! Aladdin ! Aladdin who ?

    Aladdin the street wants a word with you !

  • What kind of street to ghosts, goblins and ghouls live on?

    A Dead End.

  • How can you tell if you're in Detroit or across the river in Windsor Ontario Canada?

    Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada

  • Why did the European businessman sleep on the streets?

    To avoid a hostel takeover.

  • What do you call an empty cheese whiz jar?

    Cheese Was! some old guy came up to me on the street and told me this one.

  • Why are the streets in Paris lined with trees?

    So the German soldiers can march in shade.

  • How do you start a black parade?

    Roll a 40 down the street.

  • What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat down the street?

    Five after one.

  • Why did the sperm cross the street?

    Because i put on the wrong socks.

  • Why did the console gamer cross the street?

    To render the other side.

  • What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats?

    You know you need a psychiatrist!

  • Why does Paris have tree lined streets?

    Because the German army likes to march in the shade.

  • What is it called when a thief steals a purse, runs into the street, then gets run over?


  • What's your favourite priest and a rabbi joke?

    Been awhile since I've her some priest and a rabbi jokes. Hit me with your best one! Mine: a priest and a rabbi are waking down the street The priest asks " wanna screw some kids?" The rabbi replies "out if what?"

  • Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

    Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.

  • Why did the accountant cross the street?

    To crunch numbers.

  • Why did the macaroni cross the street with a bible?

    Because it's a pastor )

  • Why did Adele cross the street?

    To say hello.... From the other side.

  • What's faster than a black guy running down the street with your T.V?

    His brother holding the VCR.

  • Why did the Crimean run across the Street?

    Because he was Russian

  • Why did the bible cross the street?

    To get to the other genocide.

  • Why so the French line their streets with trees?

    So the Germans can march in the shade

  • What kind of street does a ghost like best?

    A dead end.

  • Why are the streets of France lined with trees?

    So the Germans can march in the shade.

  • Why did the chicken cross the street?


  • What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout?

    A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.

  • What did the community do when there was an injustice involving law enforcement?

    Black people took to the streets. White people took it to Reddit and complained about how nobody is doing anything about it.

  • What do you call it when your balls are in the street?

    It's Cul de sac!

  • Why did the kitchen cross the road?

    It saw a pikachu across the street.

  • Why did the chicken cross my wife?

    Because I ran her over in the street.

  • Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees?

    The Germans like shade

  • What do they call the pun masters of the streets?


  • What do you call a black man walking down the street?

    A pedestrian.

  • Why did the physicist move across the street from the haunted graveyard?

    To observe spooky action at a distance! Thank you, I'll be here all week.

  • Why couldn't the skeleton cross the street?

    Because he didn't have the guts!

  • What's your street name?

    Me: FUNK MASTER FERG bia bia! Best Buy: No, the name of your street.

  • Why did the traffic light turn red?

    You'd turn red too if you had to change in the street.

  • What do you call a tank rolling through the streets of poland?

    Ghetto Blaster

  • Why did the newspaper cross the street?

    To get to the other side of the story.

  • Why did the man cross the street when he saw the chicken foot?

    Because he suspected fowl play was afoot!

  • What's the difference between a sausage dog and a market trader?

    One bawls his wares out on the street...

  • What do you call a street on the Mexican border?

    Wall Street

  • How did Darth Vader cross the street?


  • Why does Bono never get any mail?

    He lives on a street with no name.

  • Why did the chicken and the freemason cross the street?

    To get the Yolk Rite.

  • What do you call two black guys walking down the street?

    Nothing. Are you racist or something?

  • What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant?

    Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.