Student Jokes

  • What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

    Student: A teacher!

  • Who built the first American car?

    Student: "Me Pilgrims." Teacher: "The Pilgrims " Student: "Yeah they made the Mayflower Compact."

  • What is similar between students with mental health issues and nurses giving vaccinations?

    They both tend to shoot up schools.

  • How many teachers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None, that's what students are for.

  • What is "attempted theft" exactly?

    I mean it's not like you see school librarians seeing a student use Wikipedia on one of the computers and puts them in detention for "attempted plagiarism"

  • What is science?

    Student: Me Ma'am! Me! Teacher: Ok Pedro! What is science Student: science is our Lesson for today.

  • What is the value of Pi?

    Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

  • What is the outside of a tree called?

    Student:I don't know. Teacher: Bark, my child, bark. Student: Bow, wow, wow.

  • Why did the student take Viagra while preparing for his exam?

    His professor said he should study hard.

  • What is the formula for water?

    Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

  • Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff?

    Original joke) Because that's where students have the most potential.

  • Why is your paper blank?

    Teacher: Why is your paper blank? Student: Sometimes silence is the best answer ! :D :D

  • Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

    Their teacher told them not to use tables!

  • How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

    A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

  • Why were the yearbook students expelled?

    They shot the whole school.

  • What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?

    A PDF file.

  • What Bible verse keeps every student going?

    Lunch 11:35.

  • What did the Christan principal say when she kicked a student out of school?


  • How can we keep the school clean Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?

    Student: "By staying home"

  • What are some really stupid jokes?

    One I know is this: Spanish teacher: Kids, what is the ellos/ellas form of the verb sacar Students: Sacan Spanish teacher: SACAN DEEZ NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!

  • What causes a half-moon?

    Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs.

  • How can we keep our school Clean?

    Student : By Staying at home. :p

  • Why can't student loan get a girlfriend?

    Because he is forever a loan.

  • How many teachers does it take to solve algebra?

    None, that's what students are for.

  • What did the choir teacher say to the student who asked to use the bathroom?

    Of chorus.

  • What is the value of x?

    Student: She was my life.

  • What do you want to be when you leave college?

    Student: "Alive".

  • Why are you late?

    Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

  • What did the spanish teacher say to his one student, who was a member of the cartel?

    Where is my essay?

  • What's the difference between white socks and red socks?

    Students will most likely answer the color) Then you say, "yes, that's one difference but there's another: The White Sox play in Chicago and the Red Sox play in Boston!

  • Why didn't they punish the student who hung himself?

    He was already suspended.

  • What did the pre-school math teacher have to say about her students?

    Every single one counts.

  • What is the chemical formula for water?

    Student: "HIJKLMNO." Teacher: "What are you talking about " Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"

  • What is the unit of energy?

    Students: Yes!

  • Why are you Late Today?

    Teacher: Why are you Late Today? Student: Because of sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late? Student: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"

  • What did the Spanish guidance counselor tell his students?

    You have to have gooooooaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllssssssssss!!!!!

  • What did the dance instructor say to her student when the student wanted to use her bathroom?

    Skip to my loo.

  • What does a calculus teacher say when a student doesn't get it?

    Bro, do you even function?

  • What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

    my girlfriend who's a high school teacher heard this from a student the other day) Q: What do you call a cow with 3 legs? A: Lean Beef Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground Beef Q: What do you call a cow with 2 legs? A: Your mom

  • What will he have?

    Student: "A heart attack."

  • Where are the raisins today?

    A student used to give his teacher some raisins everyday. He kept giving them for 3 months straight. Then one day he did not give raisins to his teacher. And his teacher asked him "Where are the raisins today?", and the boy said "My rabbit died."

  • What is the difference between 1 Gb and 2 Gb?

    Student - Well, I don't know. I guess one is a bit too high?

  • Where is the English Channel?

    Student: I don't know, my tv doesn't pick it up

  • What are some products of the West Indies?

    Student: I don't know. Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

  • What's your favourite letter ?

    Student: The letter G. Teacher : Why is that Angus

  • Why did the student fail his physics test?

    He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

  • Why did the students need a ladder to get into school?

    It was a high school.

  • Why didn't the principal of the school for the blind allow his students to go duck-hunting?

    He knew that some of them wouldn't miss the blind ...

  • Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?

    Student: "So we know when to start Christmas shopping!"

  • Why are teachers always making answer keys?

    So they can open doors of opportunity for their students.

  • What do you call a group of students?

    A school.

  • Why did the student fail the exam?

    Spent too much time figuring out the Engels, so he didnt get the Marx.... thats what he gets for Stalin

  • How many students does it take to change a light bulb?

    Two. One to hold the light bulb and one to drink until the room spins.

  • Which teachers care the most about their students?

    Math teachers, because every student counts.

  • What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ?

    Something from another universe -ity !

  • What is an independent variable?

    Student: A variable who don't need no man