Swallow Jokes
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Why do you give children who swallowed poison some milk?
To make them happy before they die.
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Why was the lions stomach enormous?
Because he finally swallowed his pride
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What's the largest organ in the human body?
A:** That depends. If you've just swallowed a Steinway and a Wurlitzer, it's probably the Steinway.
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Whats the only bad thing about head from an anorexic girl?
She won't swallow
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Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin ?
There was some money in the kitty !
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When a guy yells out, "Linda why didn't you give your mom any grandkids?
She yelled back, "Because I swallowed them all!"
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What happened to the cannibal lion?
He had to swallow his pride!
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What's the best thing about an Ethiopian?
They'll always swallow
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What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?
Politics
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What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow?
Abandonment.
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How's your meal?
i've dislocated my jaw & swallowed the whole table
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What did the cannibalistic lion do?
Swallow his pride.
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What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality
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What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben?
He found time-consuming.
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What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spit, swallow, gargle.
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What kind of bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
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What's a sharks favorite game?
Swallow the leader. *This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*
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Why should you never date a vegan girl?
She won't swallow.
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How do you get your stomach pumped?
Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"
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How did the babysitter lose 500 kids and keep her job?
She swallowed
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Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
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What's the difference between "like", "love" and "showing off"?
Spit, Swallow and Gargle.
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What is the difference between love and lust?
Spiiting and swallowing.
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What did Dorothy do to the mean Asian Munchkin?
She swallowed the yellow prick's load.
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What brings no babies?
The Swallow.
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What type of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality
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Why did I break up with my vegan girlfriend?
She refused to swallow animal by-products.
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What's the difference between a tease, a love, and a lust?
Spit, swallow, gargle.
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Whats the definition of love true love and showing off?
Spitting swallowing and gargling.
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What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
They both swallow a lot of seamen. Ahh stupid jokes. They never get old.
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Why do Ethiopian girls give the best head?
They always swallow.
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What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?
Reality
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Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
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What is the official bird of love?
The Swallow.
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How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count?
You have to chew before you swallow!
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What do you call a stork that doesn't bring babies?
A swallow
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What's got six legs and can fly long distances ?
Three swallows !
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Whats a cannibals favorite game?
Swallow the leader.
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What Bird?
Which bird symbolizes love? Swallow.
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What is a monster's favourite game?
A: Swallow the leader.
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Why aren't lions cannibals?
They can't swallow their pride.
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What do blondes and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?
They both swallow seamen.
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What did u do last night?
Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying
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What's the difference between starlings and swallows?
Your mum doesn't starlings.
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Why was the lion a terrible cannibal?
He couldn't swallow his pride.
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What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow ?
Reality. I'll show myself out now...
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How do you know when you have a good redneck girlfriend?
If she can give you oral with a dip in and know which to swallow and which to spit.
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What's the difference between spit and swallow?
A firm grip on the back of her head.
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Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head?
Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow.
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What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill?
It bucked!
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What's the bird of love?
The Swallow.
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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a bird?
A: A gulp. It's like a swallow, only bigger.
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What kind of bird does not make babies?
A swallow
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Why did the nun swallow a needle?
So she could know what it's like to have a prick inside her.
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What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off?
Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling.
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What is the difference between like, love, hate, and showing off?
Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle.
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Why did the very religious man not say a word while he was fasting?
He was afraid that he would swallow his words.
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What do you do if an elephant swallows you whole?
Run around until you get pooped out. :)
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What happened when Dr Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
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Why are giraffes slow to apologize?
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride
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Why do blondes prefer the pill instead the condom?
Because it's waaay easier to swallow
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What do you call a cow that's swallowed a stick of dynamite?
Abominable.