Swallow Jokes

  • Why do you give children who swallowed poison some milk?

    To make them happy before they die.

  • Why was the lions stomach enormous?

    Because he finally swallowed his pride

  • What's the largest organ in the human body?

    A:** That depends. If you've just swallowed a Steinway and a Wurlitzer, it's probably the Steinway.

  • Whats the only bad thing about head from an anorexic girl?

    She won't swallow

  • Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin ?

    There was some money in the kitty !

  • When a guy yells out, "Linda why didn't you give your mom any grandkids?

    She yelled back, "Because I swallowed them all!"

  • What happened to the cannibal lion?

    He had to swallow his pride!

  • What's the best thing about an Ethiopian?

    They'll always swallow

  • What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?


  • What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow?


  • How's your meal?

    i've dislocated my jaw & swallowed the whole table

  • What did the cannibalistic lion do?

    Swallow his pride.

  • What kind of tea is hard to swallow?


  • What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben?

    He found time-consuming.

  • What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?

    Spit, swallow, gargle.

  • What kind of bird brings no babies?

    A swallow.

  • What's a sharks favorite game?

    Swallow the leader. *This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*

  • Why should you never date a vegan girl?

    She won't swallow.

  • How do you get your stomach pumped?

    Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

  • How did the babysitter lose 500 kids and keep her job?

    She swallowed

  • Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?

    Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

  • What's the difference between "like", "love" and "showing off"?

    Spit, Swallow and Gargle.

  • What is the difference between love and lust?

    Spiiting and swallowing.

  • What did Dorothy do to the mean Asian Munchkin?

    She swallowed the yellow prick's load.

  • What brings no babies?

    The Swallow.

  • What type of tea is hard to swallow?


  • Why did I break up with my vegan girlfriend?

    She refused to swallow animal by-products.

  • What's the difference between a tease, a love, and a lust?

    Spit, swallow, gargle.

  • Whats the definition of love true love and showing off?

    Spitting swallowing and gargling.

  • What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?

    They both swallow a lot of seamen. Ahh stupid jokes. They never get old.

  • Why do Ethiopian girls give the best head?

    They always swallow.

  • What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?


  • Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

    So he could wake up inside.

  • What is the official bird of love?

    The Swallow.

  • How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count?

    You have to chew before you swallow!

  • What do you call a stork that doesn't bring babies?

    A swallow

  • What's got six legs and can fly long distances ?

    Three swallows !

  • Whats a cannibals favorite game?

    Swallow the leader.

  • What Bird?

    Which bird symbolizes love? Swallow.

  • What is a monster's favourite game?

    A: Swallow the leader.

  • Why aren't lions cannibals?

    They can't swallow their pride.

  • What do blondes and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?

    They both swallow seamen.

  • What did u do last night?

    Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

  • What's the difference between starlings and swallows?

    Your mum doesn't starlings.

  • Why was the lion a terrible cannibal?

    He couldn't swallow his pride.

  • What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow ?

    Reality. I'll show myself out now...

  • How do you know when you have a good redneck girlfriend?

    If she can give you oral with a dip in and know which to swallow and which to spit.

  • What's the difference between spit and swallow?

    A firm grip on the back of her head.

  • Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head?

    Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow.

  • What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill?

    It bucked!

  • What's the bird of love?

    The Swallow.

  • What do you get when you cross an elephant with a bird?

    A: A gulp. It's like a swallow, only bigger.

  • What kind of bird does not make babies?

    A swallow

  • Why did the nun swallow a needle?

    So she could know what it's like to have a prick inside her.

  • What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off?

    Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling.

  • What is the difference between like, love, hate, and showing off?

    Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle.

  • Why did the very religious man not say a word while he was fasting?

    He was afraid that he would swallow his words.

  • What do you do if an elephant swallows you whole?

    Run around until you get pooped out. :)

  • What happened when Dr Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?

    He got atomic ache.

  • Why are giraffes slow to apologize?

    It takes them a long time to swallow their pride

  • Why do blondes prefer the pill instead the condom?

    Because it's waaay easier to swallow

  • What do you call a cow that's swallowed a stick of dynamite?