Tail Jokes

  • Why is a cat like a penny?

    Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

  • Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?

    The retail store.

  • What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back?

    A Reptile Dysfunction.

  • What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her tail?

    That's the end of me!"

  • Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?

    If they squirted it through their tails it'd be very difficult to aim.

  • What did the CIA dogs say when they supsected they were being followed?

    Looks like we got a tail.

  • Where do animals go when their Tails fall off?

    The Retail store

  • What do you get when you cross a ring-tailed lemur with a U-Haul truck?

    I'm not sure, but I know

  • What did the dog say when he chased his tail?

    This is the end.

  • Who's the biggest player in the Hundred Acre Wood?

    Eeyore, he's always chasing that tail.

  • Why does a dog wag it's tail?

    A: No one else will do it for them

  • What does a dog do when it loses it's tail?

    Goes to a retail store to find another one.

  • Why do dogs chase their tails?

    A: They want to make ends meet.

  • What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

    ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...

  • What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?

    A penny.

  • Where does a dog go when he loses his tail?

    A retail store.

  • How can you tell a dog is a cool dog?

    It swags its tail.

  • Why are dogs bad at poker?

    Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand. Why did John's dog win the poker tournament Because he's a Doberman.

  • Why did Prince Eric leave Ariel when she became a human?

    He was just chasing tail.

  • Where do lions go if they lose their tails ?

    To the re-tail store. :D

  • What's the perfect line of work for a lizard?


  • How did the mermaid get into a car crash?

    because she was fish tailing!

  • What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?

    A retail store.

  • Where do animals go when their tails falls off?

    The retail store

  • Where are most fish found ?

    Between the head and the tail !

  • Why did the redneck take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower?

    Because they're the largest re-tail-er

  • What do you get if you tie two camels together by the tails?

    A palindromedary.

  • What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?

    A: A horse and rider.

  • What has six legs two arms four eyes and a tail?

    A man holding an aardvark.

  • Where does a dog go when his tail falls off?

    The retail store

  • What do you call a monkey with a white bandanna tied to his tail?

    A surrender monkey

  • What is the difference?

    What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail

  • Where do Doggos go when they lose their tail?


  • What followed the dinosaur ?

    It's tail !

  • Why did the poor dog chase his tail?

    Because he was trying to make both ends meet.

  • Which dog is always without a tail?

    A hot dog.

  • What Are you braging about?

    I came from Chernobyl, I had a tail!

  • What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

    An alligatorus

  • Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail?

    He was taking a look around

  • Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

    Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

  • What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

    One wags it's tail, while the other tags a whale

  • Where should you take your cat, if it somehow loses its tail?

    Walmart, they're the world's biggest retailer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.

  • How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?

    By tying a knot on its tail.

  • Where do animals go when they lose their tails?

    The retail store!

  • Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back?

    They're always switching their tails!

  • What can we do to make it even scarier?

    Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES

  • What did the monkey say when he put his tail on the railroad tracks?

    It's won't be long now!

  • Why do dogs wag their tails ?

    Because no one else will do it for them !"

  • What's got two wings, a tail and twenty five pricks?

    England's return flight.

  • What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail ?

    This is the end of me !

  • How do you make a glow worm happy ?

    Cut off his tail he'll be de-lighted !

  • What did the monkey say when he caught his tail in the revolving door?

    It won't be long now...

  • Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail?

    To the retail store!

  • Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?

    To a retail store.

  • Why did the business dog chase his tail?

    So he could make ends meet!

  • What has a head, a tail, and no body?

    A coin!

  • Where'd the dog who lost his tail go to get a new one?

    A retail store.

  • What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

    Ereptile Dysfunction