Tea Jokes

  • What happens when you take the tea away from your guest?

    He's left there trying to "guess" what happened.

  • Why did so many people support the colonist protest of tea?

    Cause everyone wanted'a "boo" tea!

  • What do you call tea made by a stoned marsupial?

    High koala tea

  • What do you call an earl grey that likes role play?

    Not-tea

  • How does Sherlock prefer his tea?

    Steeped in mystery!

  • What's the worst kind of tea?

    Emptea!

  • What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?

    He died in his teepee

  • How did Moses make his tea in the morning?

    Hebrewed it.

  • What does an English pimp do, after having tea and crumpets?

    Tally Hoes

  • What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster?

    You can dip a biscuit in your tea but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.

  • Why was the tea so obstinate?

    Because it was steeped in tradition.

  • Why does Britain like tea so much?

    Because tea leaves.

  • What tea do footballers drink?

    Penaltea!

  • What happened to the native man that drank 23 cups of tea?

    He went home and drowned in his tea pee.

  • How does Bilbo take his tea?

    Bag-in

  • What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

    Reality

  • What's the difference between a vampire and a cookie?

    You can't dip a vampire in your tea.

  • What tea do hockey players drink?

    Penaltea!

  • What does batman add to his tea?

    Just ice.

  • Why does Britain love tea so much?

    Because tea leaves.

  • What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

    Reality

  • What do you get when you mix tea and a dogs name?

    A dinosaur! Ha ha get it Tea-rex Hahaha...

  • Why didn't the coffee and the tea get along?

    Because they were being "brewed"

  • What is the name of your car?

    Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'. Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

  • Why must rabbits never miss dinner?

    With out their tea they'd be Rabbis.

  • What type of tea is hard to swallow?

    Reality

  • What do ants drink?

    Tea. It's an ant tea joke.

  • What does a pirate do when he has a cold?

    Arrr make tea

  • Why does Karl Marx not take milk in his tea?

    Because proper tea is theft.

  • How do Vampires Make Tea?

    Used Tampons

  • What do Englishmen like more than tea?

    Tea tea

  • What kind of tea do wealthy people own?

    Proper-Tea

  • What kind of tea does an anarchist drink?

    Cheap generic iced tea. Because proper tea is theft.

  • Who's there ! Army Ant ! Army Ant who ?

    Army Ants coming for tea then

  • Why did Sherlock Holmes not want a second cup of tea in the emergency room?

    Because it was More ER Tea.

  • Why do hipsters burn their lips when they drink tea?

    Because they drink it before it's cool.

  • How do vampires like their tea?

    With a old tampon in it.

  • What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?

    Reality

  • What is a politician's favorite kind of tea?

    Infideli-tea.

  • How Moses makes his tea?

    Hebrews it.

  • What's the difference between a tea bag and a used tampon?

    What's the Difference between a tea bag and a used tampon - I dunno... - I'm never drinking tea at your house again then!

  • What kind of tea isn't fake?

    A property

  • Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

    He took a ship.

  • What kind of tea do the crime investigation team drink?

    A "casual tea"

  • How did Moses make his tea?

    Hebrewed it

  • What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

    Amputee

  • What should you wear when drinking tea?

    A tea-shirt.

  • What kind of tea does a house drink?

    Propertea

  • How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch?

    Tea, Rex?"

  • What kind of tea did the American colonists want?

    Liberty

  • What do you call a weak cup of tea?

    Subtlety.

  • How does Moses make his tea?

    Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

  • What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow ?

    Reality. I'll show myself out now...

  • Who's there ! Anais ! Anais who ?

    Anais cup of tea !

  • What did the host say after her guest complimented her on her tea?

    Thanks, it's my special tea.

  • Why can't the Maple Leafs have any tea?

    Because Boston has all the cups!

  • How does Moses get his tea ready?

    Hebrews

  • What kind of tea does water make?

    Humiditea.

  • What kind of tea do koalas drink?

    Euca-lipton

  • What's the difference between England and a cup of tea?

    The teabag stays in the cup longer.

  • How did the hipster burn their tongue?

    They drank their tea before it was cool.