Terrorist Jokes

  • What do you call it when you lobotomize terrorists?

    Simplifying Radicals. Yes, she's a math teacher.

  • What does a terrorist tell hes son?

    Aim to the sky, maybe you'll shoot a plane.

  • Why can't a terrorist tell a joke?

    They always bomb the punchline!

  • What was the terrorist's pick up line?

    hey babe, I've got a large pipe bomb and I never pre-maturely detonate."

  • What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?

    A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

  • Why don't terrorists shop at Walmart?

    They prefer a Target.

  • How did the terrorist get into Czechoslovakia?

    They didn't czech his papers.

  • What happened when the joke about terrorists got to the front page?

    It blew up

  • Why is it I cant get a mobile reception in my house in town, yet a terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afganistan?

    Is there a terrorist mobile tariff I can go on

  • What do you call a terrorist from Paris?

    A Paririst

  • Why do terrorists in Antarctica love being interrogated?

    Snow boarding is fun as hell.

  • What did the terrorist say when he woke up?

    It was Allah dream.

  • What does a terrorist and a cue ball have in common?

    The harder you hit them the more english you get.

  • What does a terrorist in Antarctica say?

    Allahu Akburrrrrr

  • Where do terrorists like to go for a drink?

    The Allahu Ak Bar

  • What do you call a chat site for terrorists?

    Allahu Chatbar.

  • What did the terrorist say to the police before he blew up the building?

    C4 yourself!

  • Why did the terrorist cross the road?

    To send people to the other side.

  • When do terrorists go to bed?

    9:11 PM

  • What did the terrorist say about his popular reddit post?

    I didn't expect this to blow up like it did!*

  • What do terrorists and the England football team have in common?

    They will never win

  • What do you call it when two terrorists are horsing around on the radio?

    Talibanter

  • What do terrorists say to their sister?

    H'Isis

  • What is your secret weapon against terrorists?

    We simply reply......Chuck Norris

  • Why US didn't attack India, after twin-tower incident, looking for terrorists ?

    Because it didn't happen in 7/11

  • What do you call terrorists who have degrees in material science and electromagnetic theory?

    HysterISIS

  • What did the terrorist say to the racist and the socialist?

    We are the 2016 presidential candidate frontrunners. This is a joke take it that way

  • What do you call a terrorist on the moon?

    A problem. What do you call when 3 terrorists are on the moon? A problem. What do you call when all the terrorists are on the moon? A solution.

  • Why do terrorists hate air planes made of water?

    Because they hate waterboarding.

  • Where do terrorists go for a drink?

    The Allahu Ak-Bar.

  • What kind of buildings do terrorists have on their farms?

    Allahu akbarns (I'm going to hell)

  • What do you call playful insults between terrorists?

    Talibanter

  • Why are terrorists eco-friendly?

    They're biodegradable.

  • What did terrorists used to call Fidel Castro?

    Infidel Castro

  • Whats the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?

    You can negotiate with a terrorist.

  • What do horny terrorists in airplanes do?

    High jack.

  • What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?

    When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.

  • What is a terrorist his favourite car?

    A Citroen C4

  • Whats the difference from a terrorist and a psychopath?

    A llahu akbar

  • Where do terrorists go to have a drink?

    Allahuak Bar

  • What kind of back problem did the terrorist have?

    Scoli-isis

  • What do you call a terrorist who's missing an eye?

    Him: I give up Me: A terrorst

  • What do you call a terrorist who's always late?

    9/12

  • Why did the WTC get hit by Terrorist?

    They didn't get hit by Terrorists.

  • Where did the terrorist go after the explosion?

    Everywhere..

  • Why do terrorists hate wine?

    Because there are too many zinfandel's.

  • What did terrorists say in Paris?

    Charlie has been neutralised"

  • What do you call a terrorist holding an AK47 to your head?

    Sir.

  • What did the terrorists say after blowing himself up before getting to his destination?

    Too soon

  • Why are terrorists so mean?

    Because they don't like Nice people.

  • How many terrorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    none, they blew it up already.

  • How do you spot a terrorist?

    They'll freak out when they hear a helicopter

  • Why did the terrorist go to Sonic?

    To have a Blast!

  • What do terrorists and the American government have in common?

    They both blow up people who don't agree with them.

  • What did terrorist say to my friend Jack?

    Hi Jack!

  • What's the difference between a terrorist and a feminist?

    The terrorist needs a trigger to blow things up.

  • What kind of coffee do terrorists hate?

    French press. (Too soon?)

  • Why do terrorist use Nokia phones?

    so they can reuse the phone after the explosion

  • What do you call a terrorist with eight legs?

    An Iraqnid.

  • What do you call a terrorist with cancer?

    A free radical.

  • Where do terrorists go when they're on the run?

    Apparently, they go everywhere.

  • What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

    Terrorists blow them selves up at camp on accident

  • How do terrorists like their apple pie?

    Allah mode.

  • Where do terrorists store their money?

    In the West Bank

  • Why did the terrorist blow up the playground?

    He was a suislide bomber!

  • What do you call a terrorist on vacation?

    Aloha ackbar

  • What did the terrorist send in the mail?

    A CAIR package.

  • What Do You Call A Group Of Terrorists That Love to Smoke Weed?

    HIGH-SIS

  • What did the terrorist say to the waiter after his meal?

    These hot wings have made me a ticking time bomb."

  • Why did the terrorists have to blow up a Paris nightclub?

    Because their planes kept missing the Eiffel Tower.

  • Why did the terrorist buy himself a Porsche?

    He was going through a midlife ISIS :(

  • What do you call a party thrown by a Terrorist at a bar on a hot day in Hawaii?

    A-lou-AK-bar.

  • What does a terrorist and a soccer player have in common?

    Mossack Fonseca.

  • What do you call a terrorist in the North Pole?

    An ISISicle!

  • What's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian?

    I don't know man, I just fly the drones.

  • What's the difference between a refugee and a terrorist?

    I don't know. I just build the fence.

  • What do you call it when you lobotomize a bunch of terrorists?

    Simplifiying Radicals. (MATH joke)

  • What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?

    The Marine shrugged and replied, "Recoil."

  • What's the difference between terrorists and tourists?

    Terrorists have sympathizers.

  • Where do midget terrorists live?

    Halfghanistan.