Toilet Jokes
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What is the meanest practical joke one can pull on a blind person?
Leaving a plunger in the toilet.
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What does Sherlock Holmes do in the toilet?
He de-deuces.
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What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard?
Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?
A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.
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How do you know you're flying over Poland?
A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.
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What's the worst thing you can do to a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet
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What do you call a man who cleans out toilets ?
Lou !
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Why did the toilet want to start a rebellion?
Because he was a slave to the cistern!
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Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
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What do you get if you cross a toilet with a pop singer ?
Loo-Loo !
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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They left the plunger in the toilet.
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Where does Sean Connery sit?
In the toilet.
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What's the worst prank you can play on a blind person?
Leave the plunger in the toilet
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What is the meanest thing you could do to a blind person ?
Leave the plunger on the toilet.
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How do you say 'Toilet' in Japanese?
Dump-ring.
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Why did Tigger look down the toilet?
To find Pooh!
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What is the best celebration to have in a French Toilet?
A biday party!!
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What did the toilet say to the pee?
urine
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What do you call a ice cube in the toilet?
Poop cuber
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Where do toilets live?
Porcel Lane.
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What did the dragonball z fan say when he wanted to go to the toilet?
I need to goku the toilet
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What does Peter Gabriel sing on the toilet?
I am the extruder...
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Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the toilet?
Because the 'p' is silent.
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How do you get even with Hellen Keller?
Comment your favorite Hellen Keller jokes) How do you get even with Hellen Keller Leave the plunger in the toilet
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Why did Tigger jump down the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?
By leaving a plunger in the toilet
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Why was the pencil in the toilet?
It was a No. 2.
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What does a parent say to their boy who keeps missing the toilet?
Urine trouble.
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How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?
She left a plunger in the toilet
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Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
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What does a black women do after having a water birth?
Flush the toilet.
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What's the worst thing you can do to a blind person?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
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What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?
Leave a plunger in the toilet!
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What's in the toilet of the Star Ship enterprise?
The captains log
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What do you call an Igloo without a toilet ?
An Ig !
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When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?
WIFE : I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help WIFE : I use your toothbrush.
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What is the definition of torque?
When you wake up in the morning with an erection so stiff, that when you bend it down to take a leak, your legs kick back and you hit your head on the toilet.
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Why did he do that?
Who is she What does that mean When did that happen Why How I need to go to the toilet. - Child, at the cinema
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What's the difference between a woman and a toilet?
The toilet doesn't insist on cuddling after you drop your load in it.
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What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters?
Weeeeeeeee!!!
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What did the toilet say when he was hitting on another toilet?
On a scale from one to ten, urinate.
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Why can't your hear a pteradactyl go to the toilet?
Because the p is silent.
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How do you print something when you've really got to go to the toilet?
You ctrl p.
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What did Euler see in the toilet?
Natural log
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Why did Dory warn Nemo about escaping through the toilet?
Because it was a sewer side mission!
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Why was tigger looking down the toilet?
Because he was looking for Pooh!
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How do you call an American that hasn't gone to the toilet in 7 days?
An American full of himself.
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What did they find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?
The Captain's Log.
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Why can't you tell when a Pteradactyl goes to the toilet?
Because the P is silent.
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Why did Helen Keller scream?
Her parents left the plunger in the toilet.
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How do you mess with a blind person?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
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Whatya doin?
Me: I fixed the toilet so I'm adding Potty Fixer to my resume W: You mean Plumber M: DO I LOOK LIKE A HOUSE SCIENTIST
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Why do we call it toilet paper?
Does anyone wipe their toilet with it
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When the Little Mermaid became human how did she know how to use a toilet?
BIG-TIME plot hole in my opinion"
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Who serves the toilet?
The buuttt-lerrr!
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What's long and black?
every day How did Hellen Keller lose her virginity Someone left a plunger in the toilet
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What did Spock find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?
The Captain's Log.
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What does a bad salesman and a toilet have in common?
They are both full of crap.
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What did Ghandi say when he was in the toilet?
I'm having a movement"
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Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?
He wanted to have a birthday potty!
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What is the worse thing you can do to a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet!
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Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise?
He was looking for the Captain's log.
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Why did the superhero flush the toilet?
It was his duty!!!! told to me by my 7yo son
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What is brown and sits in a toilet in a dutch attic?
The diarrhea of Anne Frank.
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Why did Tigger get stuck in the toilet?
He was looking for pooh.
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Why did the toilet make a joke about the balls?
It was low hanging fruit.
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Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time?
Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
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How do you surprise a blind man?
Stick a plunger in the toilet
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What do you call a nut on a wall?
A walnut! What do you call a nut at the beach A beech nut! What do you call a nut in the toilet A peanut!!
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What does cats and festival attendees have in common?
They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned.
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How do you guys tweet from the toilet?
I poop with both hands.
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How does Sean Connery find his way to the toilet?
With a shat nav.
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Why do you never hear a pterodactyl go to the toilet?
Because the p is silent
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What did the Frenchman say when he saw a dirty toilet?
Eau de Toilette! (eww, the toilet)
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Where does a toilet keep his secrets?
In his diarrhea.
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What's the difference between a toilet and a sink?
Aaaand you're not allowed in my house anymore.
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Why did the little boy flush a pencil down the toilet?
Because it was a Number 2.
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What did Spock find in the toilet?
Captain's log.
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Why did Helen Keller fire her maid?
Cuz she left the plunger in the toilet. - Jackie Martling
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What did Euler find in his toilet?
A natural log
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What type of person does cocaine after taking a shot?
A linebacker I came up with this on the toilet... Hope it's not old.
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What goes in God's Toilet?
Holy crap.
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What did they find floating in the toilet of the S.S Enterprise?
Captains Log
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Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet?
Because the P is silent.
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Why doesn't anyone in insert nations capital use the toilet in the morning?
So they have something to do at night.
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What do they call Redditting on the toilet?
Snoo on the loo
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How do you know that a dinosaur ate Kel for breakfast?
Because there was a kellogg in the toilet
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What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?
Swiping and wiping.
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What does Neil Patrick Harris call his toilet?
His Dookie Houser
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Why did Captain Kirk go into the ladies toilet ?
To boldly go where no man has been before !
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What does a programmer do in the toilet?
A log dump!
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How do her parents punish Helen Keller?
By leaving the plunger in the toilet.
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What will you find in the toilet of a ship?
The captains log.
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What was Tigger doing in the toilet?
Looking for Pooh.
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What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get?
Mine is a skittle.
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What did they find in the toilet in the star ship Enterprise?
The captain's log.
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Why did the snooker player go to the toilet?
To pot the brown.
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Why did the janitor flush the toilet?
Because it was his duty.
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What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?
A real mess on your hands.
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What does the president of Russia call his toilet?
Vladimir's Poo Tin
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What did the hot dog say on the toilet?
Mustuuurd
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What's the worse thing to do to a blind person?
Leave a plunger in the toilet
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it goes to the toilet?
Because the P is silent.
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What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?
The Captains log
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Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh. - *My little brother told me this one hit me with a little bit of nostalgia.*
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How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.
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What's the difference between sanctuary and prison?
Toilet paper.
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Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
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How do you surprise Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet
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Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet?
That thing hurts!
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What is a toilet in Ancient Mexico?
Aztec.
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What's blue and sits on the toilet?
A policeman doing his duty!
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What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he's finished.