Tooth Jokes
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What do you have in a room full of tweakers?
A full set of teeth.
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What has teeth but no mouth?
A comb or a saw.
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Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food?
He wanted something to get his teeth into.
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How can you tell an old person from a young person?
An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time.
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What has 99 legs and one tooth?
The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.
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Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye?
Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.
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What is the best thing you can put in a pie?
Your teeth!
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How did the lawyer chip his tooth?
The ambulance slammed on its brakes.
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What do you call a smiling Roman with a hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
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What sort of an act do you do?
I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth. Anything else Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth.
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What's an old carpenter's biggest issue?
Losing teeth.
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What's the best thing to put into a pizza?
Your teeth.
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What's the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty.
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Why are the British known for keeping a stiff upper lip?
Because it hides their teeth.
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What do you get if you cross teeth with candy ?
Dental floss !
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Why did Plato's worst student always have stuff stuck in his teeth?
He didn't understand Flossophy!
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Why are you laughing?
My dentist just pulled one of my teeth out. I don't see much to laugh about in that. But it was the wrong one!
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Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?
To prevent bat breath!
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Why do you forget a tooth as soon as the dentist pulls it out?
Because it goes right out of your head.
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What do you get when you put the entire South Carolina cheerleading team in one room?
A full set of teeth.
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Why does Donkey Kong brush his teeth?
To prevent tooth DK.
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What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?
Flossless compression!
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Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?
Your teeth !
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Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?
Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
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Why shouldn't a dentist and manicurist be in a relationship?
All they will do is fight tooth and nail!
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What do you call a Roman fighter with curly hair in his teeth?
Gladiator. (Glad he ate her)
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What do you get when you move 32 Texans into the same room?
A full set of teeth
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What do you have when you get 32 rednecks in a line?
A full set of teeth
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What do you do if an Islamist throws a pin at you?
Run. He still has the grenade in his teeth.
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What did the Abominable Snowman do after he had had his teeth pulled out?
He ate the dentist.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?
Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Bare Grylls
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What do you call 27 West Virginians?
A full set of teeth.
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What did the dog say when he bit the sandpaper?
Nothing. He just grit his teeth.
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How can you tell if a Packers fan is mad at you?
They grit their tooth at you.
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Why do tampons have strings?
So you can floss your teeth with them after you've used them.
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What do you get when you put 28 Alabama Sorority girls in one room?
A full set of teeth
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What do you call thrusting a hairy rod in and out of your mouth really fast then afterwards spitting out a white liquid?
Brushing your teeth
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What time should you book dental appointments for?
2:30 (Tooth hurty!)
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What is red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
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How can you get a set of teeth put in for free?
Smack a monster.
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Why do cowboys have foreskin?
So they have a place to put there chewing tobacco when brushing their teeth
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How are you related to the sun?
Because your teeth are the same colour as it.
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What kind of bears don't have teeth?
Gummi bears. )
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What is the difference between a crackhead and a walrus?
One tooth
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Why did the chemist break his teeth?
He ate a Pb and j sandwich I'd tell you another but all the good jokes argon
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What do read heads get when they don't brush their teeth?
Gingervitis Edit: redheads. I am a disgrace.
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Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?
He was already taking out a tooth
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Which two letters are rotten for your teeth?
D K
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What's the difference between a crocodile and a toothbrush?
You can't brush your teeth with a crocodile.
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Why didn't the monster use toothpaste?
Because he said his teeth weren't loose.
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Why did the buddhist refuse novocaine when he went to get a tooth pulled?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
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What's the easiest way to make a homeless person bleed?
Brush their teeth!
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What helps keep your teeth together?
Toothpaste.
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What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ?
The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !
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What's a dentists favorite time?
Tooth hurty
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What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese.
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Why did twoface go to the dentist?
He dented his tooth
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What does AF mean?
After Flossing. Now go brush your teeth and they will be clean AF. Why do you ask 10: Mom said you were lazy AF.
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What did the blonde's dentist find?
A: Teeth in the cavity.
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What do crack addicts sing while caroling?
All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!
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How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?
Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.
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What do you get from 3 girls from Arkansas?
Damn near a whole set of teeth.
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What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist?
Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth
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What time are most dental appointments scheduled for?
Tooth hurty.
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What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.
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Why don't ducks have teeth?
Too much quack.
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What to do you call an old dentist?
A bit long in the tooth
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Why do SJWs hate dentists?
Because they want to make teeth straight and white.
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What do you say to a woman with only one tooth?
Nice tooth.
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What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
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What do you get with a room full of 32 Alabamans?
A full set of teeth
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What do you call it when you thrust a hairy pole in and out of your mouth, and at the end you spit out a white liquid?
Brushing your teeth!
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Why are there hardly any dental professionals in the South?
Because it takes more than 35 patients to make a full set of teeth.
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What do you call a butler with a new set of teeth?
An endentured servant
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What kind of teeth can you buy with a dollar?
Buck teeth!
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What's the best hour to book a dental appointment?
Tooth hurty.
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What do you get when you put 32 Rednecks in one room?
One full set of teeth.
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Why did the cowboy brush his teeth with gunpowder?
A: So he could shoot his mouth off.
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Why didn't the fisherman go to Florida to fish for long jawed fish with rows of razor like teeth?
He didn't have a Gar
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Why do bees sting?
They can't bite because all that honey rotted their teeth. (From my 7 year old niece)
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What did one tooth say to the other?
Get your cap on the dentist is taking us out tonight.
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What happens if you game so much you forget to brush your teeth?
You get Halo-tosis. :-/
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What do you call a Roman with a hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
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What's the 6 things that's white on a black guy?
It's quite easy when you think about it. It's the inside of the hands, inside of the feet, the eyes, the teeth, the nails, and the owner.
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What has over a hundred teeth and keeps back Godzilla?
my zipper!
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What do you get when you line up 12 girls from Kentucky?
A full set of teeth.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
Thar's gold in them thar fills."
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What has a mouth but no teeth?
A: A river.
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What do you get when you put 20 Meth Heads in 1 room?
A full set of teeth
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What's red and bad for your teeth?
A Brick.
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What's the definition of the perfect woman?
Four feet tall, fold back teeth, flat head so you can rest your beer on it, and turns into a pizza at midnight.
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How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly?
The meth head still has teeth.
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Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist?
Because they fought both tooth and nail!
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Why does Wiz Khalifa brush his teeth?
Plaque and yellow, plaque and yellow, plaque and yellow.
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What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth?
Gladiator
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When did the Chinese man know it was time to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty
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What's got a pair of balls and 100 teeth?
A: A crocodile Q: what's got a 100 balls and a pair of teeth? A: A singing choir of army veterans
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What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?
Tooth (truth) or Consequences.
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What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?
Fill me in when you get back
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What's got no teeth and smells?
The gearbox in the wife's car...
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What did the tooth say to the dentist?
Fill 'er up!"