Type Jokes
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What type of writing makes the most money?
Ransom notes.
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What type of music does the Easter Bunny listen to?
Hip-Hop!
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Why are we seeing the creepy clowns all over the country?
Being in many states and seen on all types of media is how they run for president.
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What type of jeans do the Mario Brothers wear?
Denim denim denim
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What type of knot do you tie in space?
An astronaut.
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What type of cheese is not yours?
Nacho cheese!!!
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What type of car explodes?
A Talivan.
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What's the only type of music that the balloon dislikes?
Pop.
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What type of fruit is impossible to marry?
Cantaloupe
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What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?
A Coconut.
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What do you call a WordPress website that dresses up like another type of website?
DruPal
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What is Shulk from Xenoblade's favorite thing to type?
Back Slash!
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What type of movies can't batman see?
Parental Guidance.
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What type of car does a Loch ness monster Drive?
A nissan
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What type of pants do Japanese people wear?
Nihon-jeans (Nihon-jin)
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What type of car does a ghost drive?
A BOOick.
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When is being an "Alpha" not a good thing in the dating world?
When you are a type of radiation. No one wants someone who can't penetrate well.
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What type of underwear does a fetus wear?
Fruit of the womb.
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What type of music do Irish people listen to?
Pubstep
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What type of battery does The Fonz use?
AAAA
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Why can't the pirate get to any subreddits?
He keeps typing /arrr/
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What type of cheese is made backwards?
Edam
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Why type of lightning likes to play sports?
Ball lightning
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What type of melon would Romeo and Juliet have been?
Cantaloupe.
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Who the biggest Loser of them all?
Type this in on your search bar. LOSER.COM
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Why did the writer not like his friends book?
It wasn't his type.
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What type of car would the Hamburglar drive?
A Hamburghini.
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What type of wind is named after both a cat and a bat?
Katabatic
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What type of cancer is an anarchist immune to?
Prostate
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What's the difference between a Dutch oven and a German one?
The type of gas used.
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What type of missiles were used in the Movie Top Gun?
Tom" Cruise Missiles.
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What type of key gets you into the bathroom the fastest?
A dookie
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Why type of nut do Wallflowers like?
Walnuts
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What type of computer sings?
A Dell.
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What type of car does a dinosaur drive?
a priustoric!
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What type of sound system does a Saab have?
A Saab-woofer :)
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What type of dinosaurs roamed the Mediterranean before the asteroid hit?
Falafel Raptors. (sorry)
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What Type of Fruit Wants to Run Away and Get Married but Isn't Able to?
Cantelope.
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What type of memory card is always laughing?
The XD card.
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What type of doctor did Batman visit after Bane broke his back?
A Chiroptopracter.
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What type of lunch do you get at an air show?
A plain one.
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What type of truck takes a very long time to reach its destination?
A log n truck.
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What type of rock is this?
It has many layers compressed together.
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What type of car insurance does OJ da Juiceman have?
Triple Aaayyy
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What type of perfume do kidnappers use?
chloroform
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What type of wife always knows where her husband is?
A widow
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What type of stories do cocaine addicts write?
Snort stories
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What is the type of conference that brings together knights and mathematicians?
A
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What is the type of humor do you hate the most?
Dark humor... I hate it when black people tell jokes.
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What type of computer sings well?
Adell.
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What type of car does James Bond drive?
00-Sedan
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What type of drugs do ducks use?
What type of drugs to ducks use? Quack cocaine.
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What type of shoes does a ninja wear?
Sneakers.
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What do you get if you type www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com into your computer?
A sore finger.
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What's the only type of seafood that Sean Connery won't share?
Shelfish
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What type of cheese is strong?
Shredded cheese.
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What type of tree doesn't remove active torrents?
A tree.
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What type of jokes are the least upvoted ones?
Original Jokes.
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What type of phones do fish use?
Shellular*, of course...
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What type of monster really loves dance music?
A: The boogieman.
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What type of condom does Spock use?
Vulcanized rubber!
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What type of weed do lizards smoke?
Mariguana.
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What type of music do they play at Chinese Restaurants ?
Wok n' Roll
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What type of doctor prescribes Coke and 7-up for a living?
A Poptometrist!
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What type of person does cocaine after taking a shot?
A linebacker I came up with this on the toilet... Hope it's not old.
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What type of wind is named after a young deer?
Foehn
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What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?
Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!
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What type of music do astronauts love?
Neptunes!
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Why is physics inherently racist?
There's only two types of bodies: the free body and the black body.
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What type of gun is used by a pig that is good with the ladies?
A smoothbore.
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What type of weed does a reptile smoke?
Mariiguana
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What type of wrists are the scariest?
Terror wrists.
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What type of fruit is not allowed to get married?
Cantaloupe...
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What's joke #1?
THIS IS NOT A JOKE I'm sure you all have heard the joke where has a number for each joke and that everyone just remembers the numbers instead for typing out the jokes. This always made me think "What would joke #1 be?" What do you think it'd be?
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What's harder the softer it gets?
Typing withw my peniuasd 9damnit!)
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What type of MMO's does the Taliban play?
RPG's
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What'sApp Me: Mom, what's for dinner?
Mom : typing ... *gets married* *have kids* *gets old* *dies* *goes to hell* Mom: Fish, honey!
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What type of fighting technique do amputees practice?
Partial arts.
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What is dumber than the Blonde jokes above?
A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.
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How does one sink, that which floats?
How does one sync, that which floats Well, we type case the variable to make sure that both sides of the equation are of type, floats.
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What type of gum does a Buddhist perfer?
Enlightenmint! More Gum Jokes!
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Which type of juice has the most mood swings?
Caprice Sun. OC
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How do you find hundreds of jokes about finding Will Smith in the snow?
Type "fresh prints" in the "search reddit" box at the right.
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What type of rock is this Holmes?
It's sedimentary my dear Watson!
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What type of store doesn't move?
A stationary store.
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What are you typing?
Let me guess. Oh wait, stop right there, I know what it is. It's not that Okay wait.. I know it, I know it!" -Google.
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What type of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality
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What type of board will you be riding?
Jesus: looks at feet They're using boards
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How many words can you type a minute?
ME: Probably all of them BOSS: What do you mean ME: Well, like for example, pickle
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What type of bonds deals with the bad guys?
James
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What is the only type of folder that can make you sick?
Salmon Manilla
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What type of punch hurts kids the most?
A sandy hook
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What type of people can you not stand?
People in wheelchairs
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Why doesn't Nigel Farage like election forecasts?
He dislikes poles polls How do you type jokes that rely on similar sounding words It hard :(
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What type of weed are you allowed to smoke during Ramadan?
Tajweed
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What type of sushi does Bob Seger like?
That Old Thai Moroccan Roll.
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What type of animals are put on envelopes?
Seals.
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What type of jokes do planets tell each other?
Cosmic jokes.
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What type of sense of humor does rain have?
A very wet sense of humor
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What type of bees make milk?
Boo bees
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What are the type of numbers you get when you take an integer and add it to itself?
I can't even
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What type of school did Sherlock Holmes go to?
Elementary :)
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What type of flour do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
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What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality
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What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic?
One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian.
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Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards?
Because they use a strongly typed language.
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What type of pants does Mario wear?
Denim, denim, denim.
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What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?
Uniball.
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How many posters who type 'r/antijokes' on this sub only do it for karma?
Seriously, I don't know. Maybe 50?
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What type of vegetable is only kinda awesome?
A radish
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What's so lame about a duck President?
Pieces of bread, quacking, getting into all types of duck antics in the Oval Office! I'm game!
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What type of fruit do twins prefer?
Pears.
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What type of currency do people use in outer space?
STARbucks.
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What type of dog suffers from being inbred?
A hotdog
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What is the only type of alcohol muslims are allowed to drink?
TAKBEER!
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Why did Comic Sans's girlfriend leave him?
He just wasn't her type.
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What type of luggage only speaks in short sentences ?
A brief case.
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What type of math is dead?
Aerith-matic..
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What would you get if you crossed a skunk with a type of Easter candy?
Smelly beans!
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What type of bees don't die?
Zom-bees
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What type of bagel can fly?
A plain bagel!
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Where does a thumb meet its type?
At oh-my-goodness! Skip
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Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a keyboard?
They're all paws.
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What type of dog leaves a mark?
shar pei
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What type of writing is the most profitable?
A ransom note.
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What type of milk is swiss cheese made of?
Whole milk.
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What type of cheese lives under your bed?
Muenster.
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What type of overalls did Mario wear?
Denim Denim Denim......
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What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink?
Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!
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What type of transporter does Mr. Scott use?
A Beemer.
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What type of movie does a blind person watch?
Black and black movies.
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What type of car would Jesus drive?
A Chrysler
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What's the deal with my laptop?
I'm sitting there typing and the battery drains, does this ever happen to you? So this little message pops up: Plug in or find another power source. Do you get that message? What other power source are they talking about? Well, I can't find that cable, so I'll go ahead and plug in to the hamster wheel generator I keep just in case. That's my other power source.
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How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?
No one can ever know P.S. are these type of tongue twister jokes allowed here If not i will happily remove it.
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What type of alcohol do they put in bomb shots?
Allah-lcohol
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What type of phone does a hawk use?
A hawkie talkie.
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What type of train can a ginger not ride?
A soul train
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What type of dog did the tweaker have?
A pure bred meth lab.
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What type of carpet do you put in an igloo?
Burr-burr
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What type of cheese can you see in a mirror?
Halloumi! (Hello me)
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What is the one type of person that will never get angry?
A nomad.
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What type of brain does a plant have?
A membrane
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What type of music do they listen to in the Czech Republic?
Prague Rock.
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What's my type?
Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.
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What type of condoms does Ronald McDonald use?
McRibbed
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Why are people still using a dictionary?
I just type the words into Google and see if it corrects me.
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How do whales type e-mails?
With their fish fingers.
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How did the date go?
Not good. Aww what went wrong -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.
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What type of job does T-Rex have?
He is small arms dealer
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What type of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers
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What type of fish needs to be tuned?
Tune a fish
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What types of jokes grow on you?
They ones that go viral. I'll see my self out.
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What did one diabetic say to the other diabetic, on their blind date?
I'm sorry, but you're just not my type.
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What type structural support do you make out of phone books?
A call-em
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What type of sense of humor does a dust storm have?
A very dry sense of humor
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What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?
You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!
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What type of pasta is no longer used in Canada?
Penny ...
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How do you know if a Muslim is laughing online?
He types, "HALOL"
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What type of trees do chickens grow on?
Poul-trees
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What type of curry sets fire to the rain?
A-Dhal
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What type of animal browses Reddit?
Karma-vore
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Where does the thumb meet its type?
At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!
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What type of jokes do Sikhs hate?
Puns
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What type of government would a nation ran by Alvin and the Chipmunks be called?
A theocracy.
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What did one keyboard say to the other keyboard?
Sorry you're not my type.
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Why are the busiest paleontologists always rednecks?
Because they are always caught up in some type of relative dating.
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What type of plant can you use to make phone calls?
A telefern
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What type of pants do you need to start a car?
Cargo pants
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What type of music do lightning bolts listen to?
Rock and Roll
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What type of gun do time travelers use?
A Clock-18
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What type of Martial Arts does Jesus know?
Jiu Jitsu.
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What are the three types of men?
A: The handsome the caring and the majority.
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What type of veteran is he?
A seasoned veteran.
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What type of tree hates company?
Sycamore trees!
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What type of milk does Mitt Romney use with his cereal?
The one percent
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What type of energy supplement do terrorist take?
C4
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What type of wood is the most expensive?
Hollywood! (Made this up while i was doing a project.)
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What type of music do balloons hate?
Pop music!
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What type of clothing does a House wear?
Address.
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What type of luggage talks in short sentences?
A brief case
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What type of computer is unusually large?
A Dell
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What type of cow produces both milk and potatos?
Your Mother.
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What types of trees never get Christmas presents?
Knotty Pines.
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What type of wind is named after Santa Claus's warm climate cousin?
Santa Ana
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What type of people do vampires like?
Type O positive people.
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Which type of soup is the heaviest?
Won-ton soup
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What's the only type of dog that doesn't bark?
A dogfish!
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What type of dog is always amazed?
A Chi-WOW!-ua