Understand Jokes
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Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?
He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
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Why Couldn't Anyone Understand The Mute Mathematician's?
They didn't speak sine language.
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Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events?
He's been living under The Rock.
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Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?
Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.
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How do trains from different countries understand each other?
With a trainslator
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Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.
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Why can nobody understand sausages when they talk???
Because they speak in tongs. I'll show myself the door
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Why did the liontamer stop using WinZip?
because lions only understand .rars
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There are 10 types of people in this world...
Those who understand binary and those who don't
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Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets?
Because he was on a higher plane.
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What has 2 legs but doesn't use them?
A man named Bob running down a train track (only Asians will understand)
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Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns?
They always take things literally.
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Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?
He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.
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What's the best part about child molestation jokes?
You don't understand it until you're older!
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When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T>1?
Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor
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What is a world series?
I don't expect you to understand son, you are just a Cub"
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What has two thumbs and doesn't understand jokes that require a visual component?
This guy!
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What did one deodorant say to the other?
I can't understand you, your axe scent is too strong.
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Why don't you see many chemists with master's degrees working with acids and bases?
To really understand acids and bases, you need a pHd.
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What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?
my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome
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What do you call a Pho restaurant run by 9 Japanese chefs?
Pho Kyuu EDIT: No one understands how to pronounce "Pho". ;;
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What sound do dogs make?
3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.
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Why did Plato's worst student always have stuff stuck in his teeth?
He didn't understand Flossophy!
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What do you call a bee that has been run over by a car?
Bee flat Music joke for those who don't understand. B flat is a note.
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Why is it hard for men to understand women?
Because you have to study abroad to understand them.
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What jokes do you know that can only be understood if you know two (or more) languages?
Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.
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Why are most Muslims broke all the time?
They never understood the concept of piggy banks.
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Why is a change machine easy to understand?
It makes cents.
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How Am I Driving' sign* *Panics* Hello?
There's a problem. Your driver doesn't understand how he's driving
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Whats the difference between a woman and a feminist?
A woman can understand irony and satire without being offended.
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What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework?
He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear.
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What did the thunder say when it understood the joke?
I feel so enlightninged!
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Why an Aunt?
I can understand why an Uncle would be in there.
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What makes a little bit of sense, but you'll never understand?
Hobos
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What did Peyton say to his younger brother when he didn't understand him?
Eli5
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Why couldn't the scientist understand what the photon was saying?
Because the photon was incoherent.
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What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
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What would be your main strength?
Well, I can communicate with animals... "Wow, impressive. Any weaknesses " They can't understand me.
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Why do Soviets use lowercase letters?
Because they don't understand CAPitalism
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How could that have happened ?
I can't understand it either because I planted cabbage !
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Who's there ! Cat ! Cat who ?
Cat you understand !
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Why do credit cards not work in France?
They don't understand the concept of charging.
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Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?
Because they take everything, literally.
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What did the black hole say to the pulsar?
I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation
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What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?
An old man yelling at the cloud
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What didn't the Japanese understand nuclear missile technology?
It was a little over their heads
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How do you understand women?
I really just want to know.
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Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?
They take things literally
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What part of "No" don't you understand?
Probably the whole thing I'm guessing. It's a pretty short word. What You're a squirrel Sorry
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What kind of bee can't be understood ?
A mumble bee !
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What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes?
A: None as usual... and they most likely didn't understand them either.
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What was the other reindeer's name?
Olive.
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Why are sea sponges good at statistics?
They understand coralations!
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What do you call a lesbian that you can't understand?
A mad lib...
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Whatchya thinking about?
Me: *Thinking about how dogs understand more English words than I understand dog words* Science stuff.
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What do you call a cross between... a Mafia Don and post-modernism?
An offer you can't understand.
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Why did the dyslexic engineer fail college?
Because he didn't understand psychics.
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What do you call empathetic bovine?
understand bull
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To understand what recursion is...
You must first understand what recursion is
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What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?
Someone who takes everything literally
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How many didn't?
Ten. (Shame this one doesn't work too well for reddit - the funniest part of this joke is the third punchline enjoying people struggle to understand what the hell you're talking about.)
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Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer?
He wanted someone who understood and case.
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Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?
It just makes you look photosynthesis.
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What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?
I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.
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What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?
An offer you can't understand.
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How are your English lessons coming along?
Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
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How did NBC respond to someone who criticized their broadcasting?
I ( ) can't ( ) understand ( ) your accent ( ).
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What kind of bee can never be understood?
A mumble-bee.
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Why did the student fail his physics test?
He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
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What sound does a debugging Web Developer make?
Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. *only true Web Developers will understand* *original joke*
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Why would somebody punch a sheep?
Ewe wouldn't understand.