Understand Jokes

  • Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

    He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

  • Why Couldn't Anyone Understand The Mute Mathematician's?

    They didn't speak sine language.

  • Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events?

    He's been living under The Rock.

  • Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?

    Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.

  • How do trains from different countries understand each other?

    With a trainslator

  • Why do men like blonde jokes?

    A: Because they can understand them.

  • Why can nobody understand sausages when they talk???

    Because they speak in tongs. I'll show myself the door

  • Why did the liontamer stop using WinZip?

    because lions only understand .rars

  • There are 10 types of people in this world...

    Those who understand binary and those who don't

  • Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets?

    Because he was on a higher plane.

  • What has 2 legs but doesn't use them?

    A man named Bob running down a train track (only Asians will understand)

  • Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns?

    They always take things literally.

  • Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?

    He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.

  • What's the best part about child molestation jokes?

    You don't understand it until you're older!

  • When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T>1?

    Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor

  • What is a world series?

    I don't expect you to understand son, you are just a Cub"

  • What has two thumbs and doesn't understand jokes that require a visual component?

    This guy!

  • What did one deodorant say to the other?

    I can't understand you, your axe scent is too strong.

  • Why don't you see many chemists with master's degrees working with acids and bases?

    To really understand acids and bases, you need a pHd.

  • What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?

    my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome

  • What do you call a Pho restaurant run by 9 Japanese chefs?

    Pho Kyuu EDIT: No one understands how to pronounce "Pho". ;;

  • What sound do dogs make?

    3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

  • Why did Plato's worst student always have stuff stuck in his teeth?

    He didn't understand Flossophy!

  • What do you call a bee that has been run over by a car?

    Bee flat Music joke for those who don't understand. B flat is a note.

  • Why is it hard for men to understand women?

    Because you have to study abroad to understand them.

  • What jokes do you know that can only be understood if you know two (or more) languages?

    Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.

  • Why are most Muslims broke all the time?

    They never understood the concept of piggy banks.

  • Why is a change machine easy to understand?

    It makes cents.

  • How Am I Driving' sign* *Panics* Hello?

    There's a problem. Your driver doesn't understand how he's driving

  • Whats the difference between a woman and a feminist?

    A woman can understand irony and satire without being offended.

  • What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework?

    He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear.

  • What did the thunder say when it understood the joke?

    I feel so enlightninged!

  • Why an Aunt?

    I can understand why an Uncle would be in there.

  • What makes a little bit of sense, but you'll never understand?


  • What did Peyton say to his younger brother when he didn't understand him?


  • Why couldn't the scientist understand what the photon was saying?

    Because the photon was incoherent.

  • What's the definition of an accountant?

    Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

  • What would be your main strength?

    Well, I can communicate with animals... "Wow, impressive. Any weaknesses " They can't understand me.

  • Why do Soviets use lowercase letters?

    Because they don't understand CAPitalism

  • How could that have happened ?

    I can't understand it either because I planted cabbage !

  • Who's there ! Cat ! Cat who ?

    Cat you understand !

  • Why do credit cards not work in France?

    They don't understand the concept of charging.

  • Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

    Because they take everything, literally.

  • What did the black hole say to the pulsar?

    I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation

  • What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

    An old man yelling at the cloud

  • What didn't the Japanese understand nuclear missile technology?

    It was a little over their heads

  • How do you understand women?

    I really just want to know.

  • Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

    They take things literally

  • What part of "No" don't you understand?

    Probably the whole thing I'm guessing. It's a pretty short word. What You're a squirrel Sorry

  • What kind of bee can't be understood ?

    A mumble bee !

  • What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes?

    A: None as usual... and they most likely didn't understand them either.

  • What was the other reindeer's name?


  • Why are sea sponges good at statistics?

    They understand coralations!

  • What do you call a lesbian that you can't understand?

    A mad lib...

  • Whatchya thinking about?

    Me: *Thinking about how dogs understand more English words than I understand dog words* Science stuff.

  • What do you call a cross between... a Mafia Don and post-modernism?

    An offer you can't understand.

  • Why did the dyslexic engineer fail college?

    Because he didn't understand psychics.

  • What do you call empathetic bovine?

    understand bull

  • To understand what recursion is...

    You must first understand what recursion is

  • What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?

    Someone who takes everything literally

  • How many didn't?

    Ten. (Shame this one doesn't work too well for reddit - the funniest part of this joke is the third punchline enjoying people struggle to understand what the hell you're talking about.)

  • Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer?

    He wanted someone who understood and case.

  • Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

    It just makes you look photosynthesis.

  • What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

    I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

  • What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

    An offer you can't understand.

  • How are your English lessons coming along?

    Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."

  • How did NBC respond to someone who criticized their broadcasting?

    I ( ) can't ( ) understand ( ) your accent ( ).

  • What kind of bee can never be understood?

    A mumble-bee.

  • Why did the student fail his physics test?

    He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

  • What sound does a debugging Web Developer make?

    Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. *only true Web Developers will understand* *original joke*

  • Why would somebody punch a sheep?

    Ewe wouldn't understand.