Viagra Jokes

  • What does a Disneyland ride and Viagra have in common?

    You have to wait one hour for a 3 minute ride.

  • Why don't you prescribe Viagra as an antidepressant?

    it only makes things harder.

  • What's the generic name for Viagra?

    Mycoxafloppin.

  • What's the clinical name for Viagra?

    Mycoxafloppin.

  • What's the difference between the Canadian-American border and a performance enhancing drug?

    Niagara Falls, Viagra rises.

  • What happens when you give Viagra to a politician?

    He gets taller

  • What does Melania call it when Donald takes Viagra?

    A rigged erection.

  • What do you call over the counter Viagra?

    Mycoxafloppin

  • What happened to the guy who grabbed the Viagra instead of the Allegra?

    he had a hard time with his allergies

  • Why is Viagra like Disneyworld?

    You have to wait an hour for a three minute ride

  • What's the difference between my daughter and my wife?

    I need viagra to maintain erection with my wife.

  • What would happen if James Bond took Viagra?

    He would continue to be a state-sponsored terrorist whose actions disgrace us all.

  • Why did the school boy need Viagra?

    He was having trouble getting up in the morning.

  • What happens when someone overdoses on Viagra?

    They die hard.

  • Why did the lizard use viagra?

    He had a reptile dysfunction! Credit goes to Gilbert Gottfried

  • What have Kim Jong-Un and Viagra got in common?

    They're both good at rigging erections.

  • What happens when you give a lawyer Viagra?

    He gets taller

  • What happened at the Mr. Softee when someone spiked the syrups with Viagra?

    The whole place turned into a Hardee's.

  • Why do old men need Viagra?

    Because they are screwing old women!

  • What's the real reason old men take Viagra?

    So they don't roll out of bed!

  • Why did the communist Chinese government outlaw Viagra?

    They didn't want the people to have free elections.

  • What do you call a snake on viagra?

    Rod!

  • What happens to a politician when he takes a Viagra?

    He gets taller.

  • What's the difference between Niagara and Viagra?

    Niagara falls.

  • What do you call an Italian that has taken Viagra?

    Al dente

  • What company spent over $6.2 billion in buying Viagra?

    Microsoft

  • Why did the iguana get a prescription for viagra?

    For his reptile dysfunction.

  • Why do the nurses give the old men in retirement homes Viagra?

    To keep them from rolling out of bed

  • What do you get when you cross Rogaine with Viagra?

    Don King

  • Why was the crocodile taking viagra?

    He was suffering from eREPTILE disfunction.

  • Why did the computer need Viagra?

    Because it had a 3.5 inch floppy disk.

  • How much Viagra do you have to give a computer to turn its software into hardware?

    Just enough to completely fill up the floppy diks drive.

  • Why do nursing homes give men Viagra before they sleep?

    So they won't roll out of bed.

  • What do you call a waterfall that flows upwards?

    Viagra falls!

  • What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?

    He gets taller.

  • What happens when batman takes viagra?

    The dark knight rises

  • What does a good joke and a man who's dropped his last Viagra down the drain have in common?

    A missed erection.

  • What did the old Kentucky colonel say when he got his Viagra?

    The south shall rise again!

  • What do Viagra and Disney World have in common?

    A one-hour wait for a two-minute ride

  • What is Viagra for lesbians called?

    Batteries

  • Why did the lizard take viagra?

    He suffered from a reptile disfunction.

  • What happens when you mix roofies and Viagra?

    Ring toss.

  • What is James Bond's favourite drug?

    Viagra, so he can Roger Moore.

  • What happened when the lawyer took a Viagra?

    He got taller.

  • What commercials are the longest?

    Viagra

  • Why did the student take Viagra while preparing for his exam?

    His professor said he should study hard.

  • What do you get when you take Viagra with an iron supplement?

    an erection that points north.

  • How is Disneyland like Viagra?

    An hour wait for a 30 second ride.

  • What causes something to go up and then down?

    Viagra falls

  • What do you call a polygon on viagra?

    An Erectangle

  • Why do old men take Viagra?

    It stops them from rolling out of bed.

  • Why did the caveman not take Viagra?

    Because he was rock hard.

  • What do you get when you mix Viagra with Disney World?

    Kicked out.

  • Why did ISIS stop looting viagra?

    The goats all died.

  • What do the iPhone 5 and Viagra have in common?

    They're both $700 for an extra inch!

  • What's the generic for Viagra?

    Mycoxafloppin

  • What do viagra and China have in common?

    Rigged erections