Virgin Jokes
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What do Harvard and a virgin have in common?
You try so hard to get in but 9 months later you regret you ever came.
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What do hemophiliacs and virgins have in common?
One prick...and it's all over.
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Why was Jesus not born in Australia?
Because God could not find three wise men and a virgin.
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What do laws and virgins have in common?
They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)
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What do you call a virgin in West Virginia?
An only child....
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How do we know that Jesus wasn't born in Mexico?
Because he'd never have been able to find 3 wise men and a virgin.
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What do you call a urinary tract infection caused in a virgin?
Immaculate Infection
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How do you know if a redneck girl is a virgin?
See if she can run faster than her brothers.
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What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?
A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.
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Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.
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What do they call a virgin down in the south?
Faster than her brother!
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What does the Pope Jean-Paul 2 and the little girl kidnapped by Boko Haram have in common?
The pope died a virgin
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How do you say "virgin" in Dutch?
Goodentight
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Why was Mary Jane not a virgin?
Her mother leaves.
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Why was Jesus not Mexican?
No matter how hard God looked, he could not find three wise men or a virgin anywhere in Mexico
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How can you tell a redneck girl is a virgin?
She can run faster than her brother.
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Why are chickens never virgins?
A: Because when they're born they get laid.
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What do balloons and virgins have in common?
One prick and its gone.
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How is life as a virgin?
Its hard
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How many virgins does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one. But he will pull it back out and stick it back in again just to make sure hes got the right hole.
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Why was Jesus a virgin when he died?
Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.
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Why does Popeye have such huge forearms?
Olive Oil is a virgin
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Why doesn't UGA ever have a nativity scene at Christmas?
Because they can't find three wise men and a virgin.
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How do you stop being an 18 year old Virgin?
Turn 19
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Whose Idea of Paradise is 72 Virgins?
Richard Branson.
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What do you call women who are faster than me?
Virgins. Sorry if it's a repost, I'm fairly new here.
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What do you call a 10 ten old Irish boy who doesn't go to church?
A virgin
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What do you call a girl from Alabama who's faster than her brothers?
A virgin
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What do you call a Targaryen girl who can outrun her brothers?
A virgin.
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What Did the Muslim Terrorist Say?
Who you gota blow to get some virgins around here
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Why do men want to marry a virgin?
To avoid criticism and comparison.
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How many sperm cells do virgins have at any given time?
Ohh.. About a handful.
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Why did jesus not go to australia?
He couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
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What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the dead baby in my microwave?
Isaac Newton died a virgin
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What's the difference between a virgin and a lightbulb?
You can un-screw a lightbulb.
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Why sacrifice virgins?
Because they've done nothing to deserve it.
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Why is the story of the Mayan Sacrifice girl so sad?
Because she died a virgin!
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Why do virgins never stand still?
They are used to being chaste.
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What do you call an Alabama woman who can run faster than her brother?
virgin
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Why wasn't Jesus Christ born in Alabama?
They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
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How do you tell if a girl in Nebraska is a virgin?
She can outrun her brothers... *mic drop* "I'm out..."
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What do you call a fast sheep in Ireland?
A virgin.
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How do we know Jesus wasn't a virgin?
Because he got nailed three times.
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What do you call a virgin on a water bed?
A cherry float.
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How does a virgin pop her cherry?
by using a bottle opener
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How can you tell if she is virgin or not?
Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel. Paddy asked, And what do I do with these, doc? The doctor replied, Before the wedding night, you paint one of your testicles red and the other one blue. If she says, Thats the strangest pair of balls I ever saw., you hit her with the shovel.
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What do you say when a virgin sneezes?
Goesintight.
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What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?
A virgin
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What do you call the girls who outrun me?
Virgins.
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What's the difference between a German and a Virgin?
one one appreciates good head
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How do you say virgin in German?
Goodandtight