Wall Jokes
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Why was the wall in a store?
Because it's wal-mart.
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What do you call a dead guy hanging on your wall?
Art.
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What's green and walks through walls?
A: Casper the Friendly Pickle.
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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb in Texas?
They can't. There's a wall.
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What kind of room has no walls?
A mushroom!
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What's the difference between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana?
Pink Floyd kept going after the wall.
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Why can't mimes finish marathons?
Because they can't get past "the wall".
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How do you confuse an irishman?
Lean 3 shovels against the wall and tell him to take his pick.
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What do you get when you mix the Twelve Days of Christmas with Ninety-nine Bottles of beer on the wall?
A year in prison if there's any justice.
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What did the painting on the wall say to the cop?
I've been framed!
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What's red and silver and bumps in to walls?
A baby with forks in it's eyes.
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What do you call a room with no walls?
A mushroom. Some people don't think that this is a joke. But it makes me rofl all over the place.
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What's yellow and flys through walls?
A magic banana...
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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
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What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt Sr. have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
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What's black on the outside, green on the inside and can go through walls?
Ghost avocado.
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What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
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How does Planned Parenthood paint their walls?
They go to Home Depot, get paint and rollers Sometimes they hire private contractors Lots of paint and tarps and tape, it's not that fun
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How did Godzilla get the job opportunity?
Some say he had a foot in the door... and the window... and the wall.
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Why are there walls around a cemetery?
Because people are dying to get in.
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Why are cemeteries surrounded with walls?
Because people are dying to get in there.
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What do you call an Irishman who bounces off of walls?
Rick O'Shea.
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What does a desperate Mexican do?
Bangs his head against the wall.
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Why do you look out the window in the morning?
A: Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway.
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
Art.
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What did the painter say to the wall?
A: One more crack, and I'll plaster you.
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What did one wall say to the other?
I'll meet you at the corner!
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How do you know if you are having a good time?
When you throw your knickers against the wall, and they stay there.
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What do you get if you put four economists in a white room and ask them what colour the walls are?
Four different answers
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What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
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What do Princess Diana, Kurt Cobain, and Pink Floyd all have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
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What's the difference between a fence and a wall?
I give them a wall, and they take offense.
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Why did the blind man walk into a wall?
Somebody shot his dog
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What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?
Damn!
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Who's there ! Craig ! Craig who ?
Craig in the wall !
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What is a man's ultimate shame?
When he runs into a wall with a hard-on and grabs his nose first!
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Why is Jesus happy people hang pictures of him?
It only takes one nail to put him on a wall.
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What do you call an Irish man that bounces off of walls?
Rick O'Shea.
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What do Paul Walker and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall
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What do you call a quadruple amputee trying to swim?
Bob. Same guy laying on the floor Matt. Same guy hanging on the wall Art. Same guy in a mailbox Bill.
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What do you get when you throw a baby against a wall?
An erection
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What did one wall say to the other wall?
I'll meet you at the corner!
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How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
Glue doorknobs to the walls.
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How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends how hard you throw.
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How many dead babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them
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What part hits the wall first?
The lawnmower.
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What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
DAM! (airplane stewardess told me and had me on ground laughing)
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What do you call a witch who climbs up walls?
Ivy.
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What do you call a nut on a wall?
A walnut! What do you call a nut at the beach A beech nut! What do you call a nut in the toilet A peanut!!
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Who's there ! Carlene ! Carlene who ?
Carlene against that wall
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How many dwarves does it take to paint a room red?
It depends how hard you throw then against the wall.
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What did the mime say to the wall?
Tough getting by these days .
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What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
The Wall was both their last big hit.
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What do you call a dead baby hanging on a wall?
Art
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How do you throw an egg at the wall without breaking it?
With the chicken still around it
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What sound does Korean bread make when it hits a wall?
Bang! (!)
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Why did Mr humpty dumpy push Mrs humpty dumpy off the wall?
So he could see her crack....
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Whats green and goes through walls?
A frog if you throw it hard enough...
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What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last big hits were The Wall.
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What's an educated hole in the wall?
A: A wisecrack.
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What color should I get?
Keep in mind my walls are eggshell and cinnamon.
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What should you do if your walls get cold?
Put on another coat.
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Why did the phone keep walking into the wall?
It lost its contacts.
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Why was Einstein unable to build a wall?
He only had Ein Stein
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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you can throw them.
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How do you give a time-out to a Mexican child?
Have him stand against a wall.
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How do you get the walls of your house as bright as they can possibly be?
Use LED based paint.
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What did the stupid ghost do?
He used to climb over walls.
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What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt Sr have in common?
Each of their last big hits was the wall.
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What's similar between Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd?
Both of their last big hits were the wall.
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How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors?
They just have a feel for that kind of thing.
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Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?
To prove that he was framed!
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What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?
Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)
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How do you stop an alien invasion?
You build a wall.
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What's USSR favourite Pink Floyd's Album?
The Wall. pls don't pitchfork me
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What does a spider do when he gets angry ?
He goes up the wall !
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What did the Zionist rabbi say when he heard about the plight of the Palestinian people?
Never mind their wailing. We'll just build more walls!
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Why couldn't the glue hold the walls together?
Because it wasn't ceiling.
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How are Princess Diana and Pink Floyd alike?
Their last big hit was The Wall.
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What did the wall ask the picture?
All together now!) ***"How's it hangin' "*** Skip
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How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?
A: It depends how hard you throw them.
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What does an Asian with the biggest erection get when he walks into a wall?
A broken nose.
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What do you call balls on the wall?
Walnuts. What do you call balls on a chest Chestnuts. What do you call balls on a chin My throne
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What do Pink Floyd & Dale Earnhart have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
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Why do they say "character actress"?
Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture
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What did the Annoying Orange say on Fox News?
We're going to build a wall"
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What's cheaper than a wall?
Landmines.
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Why was Mexico willing to pay to build the wall between the US and Mexico?
So the can finally have a good Olympic team.
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Whats the difference between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana?
Nothing, their last big hit was the wall.
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What do you call a man with no arms & no legs... ...hanging on the wall?
Art ...floating in the sea Bob ...laying on the floor Matt ...down in a hole Phil ...sitting in a pot Stu ...
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What happens to an Asian guy when they run into a wall with a full erection?
They break their nose!
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What do Pink Floyd & Dale Earnhart have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
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Why did Thoreau build a house?
A: Because he wanted to be walled-in.
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What do Paul Walker and Pink Flyod have in common?
Their last hit was the wall
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Where are you going?
Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five
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What do you call 2 guys hanging on the wall around a window?
Kurt and Rod.
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What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?
Both of their biggest hits were the wall.
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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
LONG) Damn.
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What do Pink Floyd fans and NASCAR driver Kyle Larson have in common?
They both love The Wall
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What does a bowl of spaghetti and a degree from Phoenix online both have in common?
If it ends up on your wall you're probably retarded.
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How do you paint a wall with dead babies?
It depends how hard you throw them.
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What do Pink Floyd & Dale Earnhardt Sr. have in common?
Their last biggest hit was The Wall
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Why does a farmer look out of his window in the morning?
A: Because he can't see through the wall.
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What does a blonde woman is doing with her ear bonded to the wall ?
Listening .
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How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree?
If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded.
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What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam.
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Why aren't there any Mexicans in China?
Because the Chinese know how to build a wall.
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What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door?
Matt. ...floating in your pool Bob. ...hanging on your wall Art. ... water skiing Skipper.
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How do black people get to Hogwarts ?
They go through wall 9 3/5
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What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ?
Reptiles !
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What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam.
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How do you keep brown bears off your property?
Build a wall
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What do Pink Floyd & Dale Earnhardt Sr. have in common?
Their last biggest hit was The Wall
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How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
It depends how strong you throw them
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Who's there ! Anna ! Anna who ?
Annather brick in the wall !
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Who smashed a hole through the wall?
Everyone in the office stares at me, even the Kool-Aid man
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What the hell is this?
Turkey bacon. *throws tray against wall* I'm hungry! Not desperate!