Weed Jokes
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What do you call a tree that smokes weed?
Snoop Log
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What do you call the guy you buy your weed from?
Your chron-tact.
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How do you know when someone smokes weed?
Dont worry, they'll tell you.
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What is Harrison Ford called when he smokes weed?
Han So-high.
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What happened to Mr. Potato Head when he smoked weed?
He got baked.
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What kind of gardening is done in the hood?
Weeding
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What happens when you smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?
You get stoned.
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What do you have when you got a bag of weed and a bottle of Jack Daniel's?
Jackpot!
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What happens when a midget smokes weed?
He gets medium.
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What does a weed addict day when something miraculous happens?
Dank god
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What do you call someone addicted to both crack and weed?
A rockin' roller.
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What happened to the muslim who smoked weed?
They got stoned
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Where do bears go after smoking some weed?
Hibearnation
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What do you call weed grown in a ceramic container?
Pothead plants.
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What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's
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Why do Zelda and Link smoke weed?
Because they live in the kingdom where the hyrule.
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What do you call a stoner when horny?
Now please post weed related jokes
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What is the best kind of weed?
When I'm weed you )
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Why did the police arrest the sidewalk sidewalk?
It always had some sort of weed on it!
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What Do You Call It When Someone Has a Bad Experience With Weed?
Blunt trauma.
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What do you call it when you smoke weed and work out at the same time?
Getting all high and mighty
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What do you call a dictionary that smokes weed?
High definition
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Why should a good driver always carry weed in his car?
So he always hits the green when he's driving.
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What do you call a group of Mexicans smoking weed?
Baked beans
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Why did the man hire a Mexican gardener?
Because he was good at pulling weed
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What do you call weed from Denmark?
Dansk kush.
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What do you call a joke that includes a pun about weed?
OC High humor
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What does one llama say to the other llama before the smoke some weed?
Alpaca bowl!!!
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Who is the only one that has smoked as much weed as Wiz Khalifa?
Wiz Khalifa's tapeworm.
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Why do rappers love weed so much?
Because the majority of their relatives used to pick it
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Why do you smell like weed?
Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(
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What do you call a lighter that is only used for weed?
A highlighter Edit: Or a Bud Light Courtesy of u/isnottoast
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What do you get when you cross weed with weed?
You get high.
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What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who likes to smoke weed ?
A baked potato
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Why did the priest smoke weed in the cemetery?
He wanted to keep his spirits high.
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What do you get if you bake weed into apple pastry?
A high turnover.
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What do you call a conversation about weed?
A diskushion.
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What Do You Call A Group Of Terrorists That Love to Smoke Weed?
HIGH-SIS
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What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?
Mariguana.
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What type of weed are you allowed to smoke during Ramadan?
Tajweed
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Why do people who smoke weed take geology?
Because they're STONERS!
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What do you call a family in which everyone from grand parents to grand kids smoke weed?
Joint Family.
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Why do people call their weed the Koran?
Because if your burn it, it gets you stoned
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What do you call someone who's never smoked weed?
ilLITerate
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How do you know that someone likes to smoke weed?
Don't worry they'll tell you.
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What type of weed do lizards smoke?
Mariguana.
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How is medusa like weed?
She makes people stoned.
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What type of weed does a reptile smoke?
Mariiguana
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Why did the lobster blush?
Because the see weed.
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Why were George and Lennie sad?
Of mice and men joke) Because they ran out of Weed :D
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What do you call a gorilla who magically smokes weed?
Hairy Potter.
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Why doesn't Rihanna smoke weed anymore?
Because she's taken enough hits.
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What does the drug dealer make sure to do?
Weed out only the best suppliers
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How do you keep a club exclusively for straight edgers?
You weed out the rest
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What kind of weed do muslims smoke?
Quranic
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What happens if you smoke weed in a musilm country?
Simple, you get stoned twice
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Where do stoner cars store their weed?
In potholes.
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What do you get when you roll weed on a dictionary?
High Definition
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What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
Han So-High"
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What does weed and the Quran have in common?
If you burn it you get stoned