Weed Jokes

  • What do you call a tree that smokes weed?

    Snoop Log

  • What do you call the guy you buy your weed from?

    Your chron-tact.

  • How do you know when someone smokes weed?

    Dont worry, they'll tell you.

  • What is Harrison Ford called when he smokes weed?

    Han So-high.

  • What happened to Mr. Potato Head when he smoked weed?

    He got baked.

  • What kind of gardening is done in the hood?


  • What happens when you smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?

    You get stoned.

  • What do you have when you got a bag of weed and a bottle of Jack Daniel's?


  • What happens when a midget smokes weed?

    He gets medium.

  • What does a weed addict day when something miraculous happens?

    Dank god

  • What do you call someone addicted to both crack and weed?

    A rockin' roller.

  • What happened to the muslim who smoked weed?

    They got stoned

  • Where do bears go after smoking some weed?


  • What do you call weed grown in a ceramic container?

    Pothead plants.

  • What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?


  • Why do Zelda and Link smoke weed?

    Because they live in the kingdom where the hyrule.

  • What do you call a stoner when horny?

    Now please post weed related jokes

  • What is the best kind of weed?

    When I'm weed you )

  • Why did the police arrest the sidewalk sidewalk?

    It always had some sort of weed on it!

  • What Do You Call It When Someone Has a Bad Experience With Weed?

    Blunt trauma.

  • What do you call it when you smoke weed and work out at the same time?

    Getting all high and mighty

  • What do you call a dictionary that smokes weed?

    High definition

  • Why should a good driver always carry weed in his car?

    So he always hits the green when he's driving.

  • What do you call a group of Mexicans smoking weed?

    Baked beans

  • Why did the man hire a Mexican gardener?

    Because he was good at pulling weed

  • What do you call weed from Denmark?

    Dansk kush.

  • What do you call a joke that includes a pun about weed?

    OC High humor

  • What does one llama say to the other llama before the smoke some weed?

    Alpaca bowl!!!

  • Who is the only one that has smoked as much weed as Wiz Khalifa?

    Wiz Khalifa's tapeworm.

  • Why do rappers love weed so much?

    Because the majority of their relatives used to pick it

  • Why do you smell like weed?

    Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(

  • What do you call a lighter that is only used for weed?

    A highlighter Edit: Or a Bud Light Courtesy of u/isnottoast

  • What do you get when you cross weed with weed?

    You get high.

  • What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who likes to smoke weed ?

    A baked potato

  • Why did the priest smoke weed in the cemetery?

    He wanted to keep his spirits high.

  • What do you get if you bake weed into apple pastry?

    A high turnover.

  • What do you call a conversation about weed?

    A diskushion.

  • What Do You Call A Group Of Terrorists That Love to Smoke Weed?


  • What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?


  • What type of weed are you allowed to smoke during Ramadan?


  • Why do people who smoke weed take geology?

    Because they're STONERS!

  • What do you call a family in which everyone from grand parents to grand kids smoke weed?

    Joint Family.

  • Why do people call their weed the Koran?

    Because if your burn it, it gets you stoned

  • What do you call someone who's never smoked weed?


  • How do you know that someone likes to smoke weed?

    Don't worry they'll tell you.

  • What type of weed do lizards smoke?


  • How is medusa like weed?

    She makes people stoned.

  • What type of weed does a reptile smoke?


  • Why did the lobster blush?

    Because the see weed.

  • Why were George and Lennie sad?

    Of mice and men joke) Because they ran out of Weed :D

  • What do you call a gorilla who magically smokes weed?

    Hairy Potter.

  • Why doesn't Rihanna smoke weed anymore?

    Because she's taken enough hits.

  • What does the drug dealer make sure to do?

    Weed out only the best suppliers

  • How do you keep a club exclusively for straight edgers?

    You weed out the rest

  • What kind of weed do muslims smoke?


  • What happens if you smoke weed in a musilm country?

    Simple, you get stoned twice

  • Where do stoner cars store their weed?

    In potholes.

  • What do you get when you roll weed on a dictionary?

    High Definition

  • What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?

    Han So-High"

  • What does weed and the Quran have in common?

    If you burn it you get stoned