Wheelchair Jokes

  • Why can't people in wheelchairs be looked at for too long?

    The can't handle stares.

  • Why didn't Superman rescue Princess Diana?

    Because he was in a wheelchair.

  • What did the blind deaf mute boy in a wheelchair get for Christmas?


  • What do you call a guy in a wheelchair?

    Whatever you like, what's he going to do about it anyway?

  • What do you call a couple, who are both in wheelchairs?

    A pair of polegics!

  • What do you call a wheelchair bound Leo?

    HanDicaprio. .

  • What do you call a group of disabled people in a pool?

    Vegetable soup. I apologise to those offended by my terrible joke. Have another Whats the hardest part of cooking a vegetable? Getting the wheelchair into the oven

  • What cell service do nuns in wheelchair have?

    Virgin Mobile

  • How do you cook vegatables in the microwave ?

    Take them out their wheelchair.

  • What is the best kind of vegetable?

    The one in the wheelchair.

  • What's the hardest part of cooking vegetables?

    Their wheelchairs

  • What did the shooting range instructor say to the guy in a wheelchair?


  • Why are people in wheelchairs always getting taken advantage of?

    Because they're easy to push around and never stand up for themselves

  • What do you call a none in a wheelchair?

    Virgin Mobile I'm not sorry (PS, if this is a repost, I'm sorry that I didn't see the first time it got posted 2 years ago. Please don't accuse me of reposting)

  • What part of the vegetable can you not put in a mixer?

    The wheelchair

  • What did Steven hawking say when he first got his wheelchair?

    I can't stand being in this

  • What is the hardest part of a vegetable?

    The wheelchair. sorry

  • Whats it called when you 69 with someone who is sitting in a wheelchair?

    Meals on wheels

  • What did Dahmer do when he finished his vegetables?

    A: He threw away their wheelchairs!

  • Whats the hardest part about cooking vegetable?

    getting the wheelchair in the oven.

  • Whats the hardest thing about microwaving vegtables?

    fitting the wheelchair in the microwave.

  • What's his secret?

    He's in a wheelchair

  • What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable?

    A fruit doesn't need a wheelchair

  • What is the only inedible part of a vegetable?

    The wheelchair

  • Who do you call when your wheelchair gets a flat?

    Cripple A.

  • What type of people can you not stand?

    People in wheelchairs

  • What do you call Charlie Sheen in a wheelchair?


  • What's the hardest part about cooking a vegetable?

    Fitting the wheelchair in the oven.

  • What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

    Virgin mobile.

  • What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?

    Finding a pot big enough for the wheelchair.

  • How is my wife doing?

    Doctor: I'm so sorry. The accident has left her in a vegetative-like state and I don't think she'll ever recover. She can barely move her limbs, if at all, and will be confined to a bed or wheelchair without the ability to ever walk again. You'll need to care for her 24/7, clothe her, feed her, bathe her, and she'll have no control of her bladder or bowels. Again, I'm so, so, sorry... ..... ..... ..... Just kidding! She's dead.

  • Why do people in wheelchairs wear shoes?

    Do they think they're gonna magically start walking

  • What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?

    Thanks for the handy cap.

  • What do you do when you are done with the vegetables?

    You put them back in the wheelchair

  • Why do people in wheelchairs have such low confidence?

    Because they never stand up for themselves.

  • Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to chew?

    The wheelchair

  • What do you get when you cross the world's most famous skater with the world's best physicist?

    A video game so realistic, when you screw up you have to play in a wheelchair.

  • What do you call... What do you call it when a person in a wheelchair tries to get through a non-automatic door?

    A tard time

  • What's the hardest part to cook in a vegetable ?

    The wheelchair

  • Why are you always pushing me around and talking behind my back?

    I said, "well, you are in a wheelchair".

  • How do you know when your vegetables are boiled?

    Their wheelchair floats to the top.

  • What's the hardest part of washing a vegetable?

    putting them back in the wheelchair

  • What is the worst thing about farming vegetables?

    The wheelchairs are too expensive.

  • What should you do before cooking the vegetables?

    Remove the wheelchair

  • Why you need that?

    You already have a wheelchair.

  • Which part of a vegetable isn't edible?

    His wheelchair.

  • Why do they allow people in wheelchairs to bring carry-ons onto a plane?

    Aren't they themselves a carry-on?

  • What does a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common?

    They both can be used to carry vegetables....

  • What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and his E-Wheelchair?

    If you repair both, the E-Wheelchair is the only thing running again