Window Jokes
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Why does the house only have one window?
Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)
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What is the difference between Windows and the US Goverment?
There is none. All of us hope that the next version will be more stable.
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Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to Windows 10?
They revived to much XP
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Why are there windows on the back of French tanks?
So they can watch the battle
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What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?
Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.
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Why did Microsoft go straight from Windows 8 to Windows 10?
BECAUSE SEVEN ATE NINE *drops mic*
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What do you suppose broke this window Mr. Holmes?
It's a limb entry, my dear Watson!
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four
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What do windows feel when they get hurt?
Pane!
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What's the difference between Wendy's and Windows?
Wendy's is never frozen.
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What did the bird say when it flew into the window?
Owl
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Why does a farmer look out of his window in the morning?
A: Because he can't see through the wall.
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What did the Mexican say when his homework flew out the window?
Where you going essay!
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Why did Windows skip to 10?
Because 7 ate 9.
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What is black and knocking on the window from the inside?
A baby in the oven.
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Why do you say he's conceited?
Fred: Well every time there was a thunderclap during the storm he went to the window and took a bow.
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How does Bill Gates enter his house?
A. He uses "windows".
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Why have all these complete strangers started to poke around outside my window?
A: They wanna peek-a-chu.
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Why is the Apple Store always so hot?
They don't have Windows installed. )
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What does my girlfriend and Windows 8 have in common?
they are both 8........
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What is the difference between a Train and an Hamster ?
The train got windows
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Whoever answers my next question, can go home One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that?
Boy: Me and I'm going home now.
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What do you call a man in the window?
INNUENDO!!!!!!!
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How did they break in?
Me: I have a fake garden rock w/a key inside. Police: They found it Me: They threw it through the window.
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Why is there no Windows 9 ?
Because Windows 7 8 9.
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What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus?
A virus does something.
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What do space aliens put on their windows?
A: Venutian blinds.
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Why did the old man throw the matress out the window?
Dementia
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What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window?
Curt 'n Rod
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What was it called when the dragon from The Hobbit was thrown out a window?
The Defenestration of Smaug.
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Why did Microsoft name their new operating system Windows 10?
Because Windows 7 8 9!
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What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?
A: You should bill Gates.
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Why did Apple employee get away jacking off in the office?
Because there are no windows!
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What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98?
A: 3 years
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How do Russians put windows in?
Putin Windows duh.
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Why did I throw my phone out of my window?
Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane...
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Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10?
Because 7 8 9
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Why did Bill Gates get sick?
Because he left the Windows open.
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Why does windows 9 not exist?
Because 7 8 9.
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What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?
Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.
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Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9?
Because Windows 7 8 9
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Why do the versions of Windows jump from 8 to 10?
Because no one wanted Windows Nein!
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What do computers and air conditioners have in common?
Neither work when you open windows.
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What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer?
They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.
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What's the difference between a daydreamer and a pervert?
A daydreamer stares out of windows.
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Why does my van have windows?
I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance.
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What's the difference between a dog and Windows 10?
A dog knows what is 'no'.
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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window?
A: He wanted to see time fly.
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Why isn't there a Windows 9?
Hey Microsoft, why is there no Windows 9? You've given us 7 and 8, and now you're skipping straight to 10?" "Well, to be completely honest, 7 8 9."
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What did the homeowners of house haunted by windows have?
Phantom panes.
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Why is it called Windows 10?
Because 7 8 9.
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Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to 10?
Because Windows 7 ate 9!!! :D
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Why is the new version called Windows 10?
Because 7 ate 9.
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What do Spider-Man and Windows 98 have in common?
They're always rebooting.
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What did Eric Clapton do after he wrote Tears in Heaven?
Threw his baby out the window.
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What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies!
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What does 1+1=?
Window.
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Why wont Apple ever make a car?
Because it can't have windows in it!!!!
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Why did ISIS leader bring a car-door to the desert?
So he could roll down the window when it gets too hot. How we joke in Kurdistan
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Why did they skip Windows 9?
Because 7 8 9!
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Why did Microsoft skip straight to 10?
Because Windows 7, 8, 9. I'll see myself out.
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Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9 and going straight to Windows 10?
Because 7 8 9!
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How did Godzilla get the job opportunity?
Some say he had a foot in the door... and the window... and the wall.
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What's the difference between Windows 8.1 and Windows 10?
The start menu.
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Why did Microsoft skip windows 9?
Because 7 ate 9
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How is a computer like an air conditioner?
They both stop working properly when you open windows.
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Why did the man throw his watch out the window?
He wanted to see time fly!
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Why won't Arnold Schwarzenegger upgrade to windows 10?
Because : he still loves vista,baby!
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Why did the Mexican man throw his wife out the window?
Tequila*
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Why did microsoft go straight to windows 10 ?
They were trying to keep their german market.
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Why is the upcoming Windows OS called Windows 10?
Because 7 ate 9...
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Why didn't Microsoft release Windows 9?
Because Windows 7 ate 9.
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Why did they go from Windows 8 to Windows 10?
Cause Seven ate Windows 9
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Whats worse than Bad command or File name?
Windows update message asking you to restart your computer
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What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?
Looks like rein dear"
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Why did a man throw his breakfast out the window?
He was a cereal defenestrator.
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How do you chip thin ice off a window?
You bust a rime.
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Why did my friend throw my computer out the window?
So A Dell could message me and say Hello from the other side.
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Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?
He had a bad experience with windows.
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Why is there no Windows 9?
Because 7 8 9.
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Why was Windows Vista afraid of 7?
Because Windows 7 8 9.
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?
Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
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Why can't you fart in an apple car?
It doesn't have windows.
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine & a small child?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...
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Why is Microsoft coming out with a windows 10 instead of 9?
Because 7 8 9
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What did the Windows user say to his Linux terminal?
DIR
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What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant?
Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.
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What do you call two guys above a window?
Kurt and Rod
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Why is Windows going from 8 to 10?
Because 7 ate 9. Credit to a guy I work with.
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What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy ?
I must throw that doggie out the window !"!
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Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?
With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed
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Why is Microsoft going straight to Windows 10?
Because 7.. 8.. 9
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What's the difference between windows 10 and the world's biggest virus?
The Logo.
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What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.
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What do you call two guys with no arms or legs hanging from a window?
Curt and Rod
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Why do people never see an Apple store getting robbed?
It doesn't have windows.
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Why did Microsoft skip windows 9 and annouce windows 10?
Because windows 7 8 9
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How's your narcissism?
Much better I thin...*sees my ex walking by* opens window HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE I BROKE UP WITH YOU!"
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Why did Microsoft jump from Windows 8 to Windows 10?
Because Windows 7, 8 9.....
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What is it with people who text and drive?
I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.
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What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hanging over a window?
Kurt and Rod
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How do you cure a headache?
A: Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!
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Why did Microsoft skip to windows 10?
Because 7 8 9.
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Why did the kid throw the watch out the window?
So time would fly.
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What ever happened to Windows 9?
Windows 7 8 9.
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What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon
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What did one window say to the other window?
I'm in pane
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What's the difference between Paul Walker and Windows 10?
Paul Walker only crashed once.
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What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window?
Ayyee essay, where are you going
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What's black and taps on the window?
A baby in the microwave :)
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Why do vampire's use linux?
Because they don't like windows in their house. BaDumTss
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How many I.T. workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
none, just upgrade to windows
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Why did they go from Windows 8 straight to Windows 10?
Because 7 8 9!
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What do you if there is a black out?
Make sure your doors are locked and windows bolted shut.
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Why did the old lady throw the clock outside her window?
SHE WAS MENTALLY ILL!!!!!!
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What do you call a window that can rap?
Two Panes
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What do you call a helicopter with no radar and no windows?
A Helenkelicopter.
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Why do black people put their garbage in clear trash bags?
So the Mexicans can window shop.
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What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old?
Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window
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Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10 and skip 9?
Because Windows 8 9.
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Why did the Windows OS skip from 8 to 10?
Because seven, eight, nine.
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Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?
I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"
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What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.
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Why is it Windows 10 and not 9?
because 7 ate 9.
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What's the difference between an 8-ball and a baby?
Eric Clapton would never let an 8-ball fall out the window!
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Why was windows 10 afraid of windows 7?
Because windows 7 8 9.
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Why is Windows 10 like a moody teenager?
Because nobody gets it.
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Why is there no Windows 6 or Windows 9?
Windows 6 got scared because Windows 7 8 9
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Why did Windows skip 9?
Because 7 ate 9.
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Why does Windows 10 say "Hello"?
Because my PC is a Dell.
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What do Windows and a submarine have in common?
If you open the windows in a submarine, your problems will begin.
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Why did we skip windows 9?
Because 7 8 9 I'm so sorry
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What scratches the window before it explodes?
A baby in a microwave
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?
Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window
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Why did Eric Clapton move from PC to Mac?
He had a bad experience with Windows
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Why is the next Windows version 10?
Because 7 8 9
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Why won't Microsoft hire any maids?
Because they don't do Windows
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Why Romeo could not meet Juliet at an Apple Store?
Poor Juliet! Did not know Apple stores don't have Windows!
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Why doesn't a sociologist look out the window in the morning?
Because then they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.
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How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone ?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
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What version of windows does Jesus use?
XP Edit: Explanation(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ChiRho)
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What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of Coke?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo fall out of a window
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Why was Windows afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 10.
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Why is the next Windows version 10 and not 9?
Because 7 ate(8) 9!
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Why did your sister jump out the window ?
Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit
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What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?
There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!
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Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?
They don't have windows.
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How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?
End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"
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What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?
Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)
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Why does it go from Windows 8 to 10?
Because Windows 7 8 9
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Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look out the window in the morning?
A: So they have something to do in the afternoon.
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Why do you look out the window in the morning?
A: Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway.
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Why was the Windows PC broke?
It ran out of cache.
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What do you get when you have Windows and Mac OS X dual booting from the same computer?
A co-operating system.
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Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9 and go straight to 10?
Because seven "ate" nine.
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What do you call 2 guys hanging on the wall around a window?
Kurt and Rod.
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What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times?
Windows 10.
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What does the window do when the sun shines on it?
It gets Blinded I excuse myself out.
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Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?
Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...
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Why is the new OS from Microsoft called Windows 10?
Because 7 ate 9.
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What does a suburban neighbourhood do if there's a blackout?
They lock their doors and windows.
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Why did Eric Clapton make the switch from PC to Apple?
Well because he had a horrible experience with windows. (credit to Neil Hamburger for this amazing joke)
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Why did microsoft go directly to windows 10?
Because windows 7 8 9
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Why couldn't the chicken fly through the window?
A: It was closed.
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What kind of stupid phone you got there?
Him: Windows phone Me: Oh takes it and lobs it out the window Yes it is