Worry Jokes

  • How can you tell if a person is a vegetarian?

    Don't worry. They'll tell you they're a vegetarian.

  • How can you tell if someone got their dog from a shelter?

    Don't worry, they'll let you know.

  • Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

    Because Jesus saves.

  • What do computer programmers and aged-care nurses have in common?

    They both worry about the position of colons.

  • How do you know a stranger could be an engineer?

    Don't worry they'll tell you.

  • How do you know when a vegan gets to the party?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • What did the plate say to the fork?

    Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

  • How can you tell if a Redditor is European?

    Don't worry, he'll tell you

  • Why is the cook worried about catching his runaway pig?

    He knows a little ham goes a long way.

  • How can you tell if someone lifts?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing?

    Sardar 2: Don't worry, I have one more.

  • How do you know who in the room is a vegetarian?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • How do you know if someone's from Texas?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • How do you know if someone's an engineer without asking them?

    Don't worry they'll tell you

  • What did the blanket say to the bed?

    Don't worry, I've got you covered.

  • What's the best part about taking advice from r/relationships ?

    You'll never have to worry about being in a long-term relationship.

  • How do you know if someone owns an Apple Watch?

    Don't worry, they will tell you.

  • How can you tell if a person's a vegan?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • Why did the chicken run across the road?

    She was worried the egg would get there first.

  • What is a diss track?

    Don't worry about it u prune gash

  • How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Oh don't worry, they'll let you know.

  • Why am I just so naturally funny?

    Because my life is a joke. Dont worry Im not scuicidal

  • How do you know you put the right joke in the right thread?

    Don't worry, someone will tell you.

  • How do you know if someone grew up in New York City?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • Why are all the fish high?

    Because of the seaweed. I've already shown myself out, don't worry.

  • How can you tell if someone loves bacon?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you that stupid vegan joke.

  • Why do cars slow down when they see a cop has pulled someone over?

    HE'S A LITTLE BUSY TO WORRY ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW DUMMIES

  • How do you know you're speaking with an engineer?

    Don't worry they'll tell you.

  • How do you know when someone is a single mother?

    Don't worry! They will tell you!

  • How can you tell when a German is joking?

    Don't worry, he will inform you after delivery of the punchline has taken place. Just a joke!

  • Why was the headmaster worried?

    Because there were too many rulers in school!

  • Why aren't you charging me for the paint?

    They said, "Don't worry about it, it's on the house."

  • What is a surgeon's excuse for not wearing a condom?

    Don't worry baby, I'm sterile.

  • Why was the wife worried that her husband was a light drinker?

    Every night, he'd go out and drink until it was light.

  • How do you know if someone was in the military?

    Don't worry, they'll let you know.

  • What do you call a Jedi who worries about not making deadlines?

    Panickin' Skywalker.

  • What did the chicken say ?

    What did they chicken say to his friends after being sent to the hospital after failing to cross the road ?. Don't worry ill get over it.

  • What's black and white that small children no longer need worry about?

    Michael Jackson

  • How do you know whether somebody is a vegan?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • How do you tell if someone's an introvert?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • What did the hill that was counting its pocket change say to the other hill?

    Don't worry, I'm just amounting.

  • How do you know if there's an athiest on a reddit thread?

    Don't worry, they'll let you know.

  • How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

    Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.

  • What fruit worries teenagers the most?

    A promegranate.

  • How do you know your friend has been at the gym?

    Don't worry, he'll tell you.

  • What did the couch say to the armchair?

    Don't worry, I pull out.

  • How can you tell that someone's a vegan?

    Don't worry they'll tell you themselves.

  • How do you know if a guy was in the Navy SEALs?

    Don't worry, he'll tell you.

  • How do you know you're talking to a pilot?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • How can you tell if someone does crossfit?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • Why do women make better pilots than men?

    They only have one joystick to worry about.

  • How do you know when someone smokes weed?

    Dont worry, they'll tell you.

  • Where did the tornado go?

    Me: Don't worry. It's gone. 6: To where Me: It just disappeared 6: Isn't that a little bit fishy

  • How can you spot a vegan in a crowded lunch hall?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you and every other person there!

  • How do you know when someone's read the Game of Thrones books?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • How do you tell them apart?

    Don't worry. They'll tell you.

  • Why doesn't the United States have to worry about a North Korean nuclear missile attack?

    we have the Iron Giant

  • How did Warren Buffets company survive the economic meltdown?

    It's a trade secret, but don't worry, Berkshire Hathaway

  • How do you know if someone is a socialist?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • What is the one thing batman and superman don't have to worry about?

    Dad Jokes.

  • How do you know if someone has run a marathon?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee?

    Don't worry, you'll fit right in.

  • How do you know if someone is an Alabama fan?

    Oh don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • What did Bobby Mcferrin say to his beer?

    Don't worry, be hoppy :)

  • How can you tell if someone is an entrepreneur?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you

  • How can you tell someone is vegan?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you

  • What happened to me?

    Snow Doctor: Don't worry you're fine. But... what did you think a snow blower did

  • How can you tell if someone is from Texas?

    Oh don't worry , they'll tell you

  • How can you tell if someone went to the gym?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

    They always worry about the worst case!

  • How do you know that one of them is a Marine?

    Don't worry he'll let you know

  • How do you spot a vegan at a party?

    Don't worry, they'll let you know.

  • How do you tell if someone is opposed to GMOs?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists?

    Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.

  • How do you find a vegan at your dinner party?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • How can you tell if someone is a marathon runner?

    Don't worry, they'll let you know.

  • What do you call a thirsty cow?

    A watermeloin.. Don't worry, I remember where the door is.

  • How do you know if someone was in the navy?

    Oh don't worry, they'll tell you.

  • How do you know that someone likes to smoke weed?

    Don't worry they'll tell you.

  • How do you know when someone is gluten free?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you. "Exit stage right...."