What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the child with no hands get for his birthday?

Nobody knows yet.

What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING ! ! !

Kermit Jokes More Kermit Jokes

What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?

A: Kermit the Frog's Finger

What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common?

They both like to pork.