What's a martini's favorite garnish?

Olive 'em!

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What did the martini say when someone put a toothpick in it?

It hurts, but olive.

What was the other reindeer's name?

Olive.

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Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes?

A: Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night!

Why are the mountains in Switzerland called "the Alps"?

Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!