What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

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Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

How long have I got?

Not long. Two, three months" casually places apple on desk "Ok, ok, six. Just get that out of here!"

What do you call a fake Apple product?

An i-phony

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Whats the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger sings eh you, get offa mai cloud, but the Scottish farmer says eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!

Mac Jokes More Mac Jokes

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

A: 9.81 m/s2

Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.