How does a crackhead lose weight?

Diet Coke.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

for 2 weeks.

What is the best way to follow a lost dog's paw prints?

With a track-tor!

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

What do Big Ben and the House of Commons have in common?

Both have a huge bellend swinging his weight around inside

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

Diet Coke Jokes More Diet Coke Jokes

What is the difference between rat poison and diet coke?

Diet coke has better advertising.

Why did the blonde snort splenda?

She thought it was diet coke.

Crackhead Jokes More Crackhead Jokes

What is the difference between a crackhead and a walrus?

One tooth

How many crackheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one more.