What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uni-ball

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What is the most used language in programming?

Profanity.

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

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What brand of underwear did Jesus wear?

Fruit of the Womb

Whats your favourite brand of beer?

When i was younger, i used to drink any brand of beer, but now i am older Budweiser

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What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!

Why do North Korean officials are always seen holding a notebook and a pen when they're near Kim Jong Un?

They're writing their last will and testament.

Lance Armstrong Jokes More Lance Armstrong Jokes

What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uniball.

Why such hate on Lance Armstrong?

I think his riding style is pretty dope.