What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

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Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye

What has two legs and red all over?

Half a puppy... I'm sorry

Force Jokes More Force Jokes

What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

What do clothes and religion have in common?

Someone invented them and forced them on everyone.

Conductor Jokes More Conductor Jokes

Why did the train get hit by lighting?

Because of the conductor.

What do you call a drummer who has lost one of his drumsticks?

A conductor.

Resort Jokes More Resort Jokes

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

Whats the difference between white people and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop its own cultures without having to resort to stealing others.