What did Tom Riddle's calculator tell Harry Potter?

8008132

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What happened when Helium told a joke?

There was no reaction

How do you tell if someone's balls are sensitive?

Give them a test-tickle

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What does Harry Potter say after he purchases slaves?

I expect to Potter-own 'em.

What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar?

Expecto-Patron-On-Ice