What does a cat say when he likes something?

A: It's purrrfect.

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What do you call someone who doesn't like food fights?

A pasta-fist.

What would you like to Instagram?

how waiters should greet people

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What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute ?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

Why did the cat get arrested for playing a violin?

Because it was a kitty fiddler.