Like Jokes

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?

Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors

How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME CHOCOLATE?!

What do you call a spider that likes 80s music?

A Durantula.

Why do Asians like to have military time on?

So they can do math

Why doesn't anybody like feminist picnics?

Because they never have any sandwiches.

What's your favourite animal?

Me too, I like the saltyness

What do you call a submissive who likes to bark like a dog?

A subwoofer.

What is Rio's least liked, most common Pokemon?

Zikachu.

Why are Muslim countries are banning PokemonGo?

Because Allah likes digimon

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes: So frightfully awful.. yet wonderfully spiffing

4.7

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What do you call a buyer that likes to curse?

A cusstomer

Where does Kanye West like to go with his son?

North West

Why does the Pope keep his underwear on while bathing?

Because he doesn't like looking down on the unemployed. First to ever post this joke here, yay!

What do necrophiliacs and alcoholics have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one

What do you call a mushroom that likes to party?

A Fungi!

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair?

Whatever you like, what's he going to do about it anyway?

Why do Democrats like to play Pokemon?

They've always enjoyed rounding up Japanese monsters.

Why do americans like to visit Rome so much?

Because it reminds them of home.

Why are terrorists so mean?

Because they don't like Nice people.

How do you like your eggs?

Fried, scrambled, or fertilized?

Why was the welder such a gossip?

Because he liked to meddle.

Why have all Remain voters suddenly gotten so salty?

They don't like the taste of being the minority!

Who sang the song "my own worst enemy"?

Them: I think it's Lit Me: I mean I like the song but I wouldn't call it lit...

How many /r/news mods does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They like to keep their subscribers in the dark.

What do cannibals put in their soup?

Ramen! Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.

Why do priests wear underwear in the shower?

They don't like to look down on the unemployed

Why do the Marines call it Parris island?

Because they like to play with each other's oui oui.

What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one

Why there are so many avenues in France?

Because german soldiers like to march in the shade

What do you call an astronaut that doesn't like being touched?

A personal space man

Why did the dog chase the bulldozer?

It doesn't like Cats.

What kind of tree likes a high five?

A palm tree

Why didn't JFK ever like vodka?

Because he couldn't handle a few shots

Why was the wildlife reserve worker weeping next to poached rhino?

He liked his rhinos sunny side up.

What do you call an arranged marriage between two communists who don't like each other?

A so-be-it union.

Why were a bunch of realist artists offended at a Matisse gallery opening?

They didn't like the public displays of abstraction.

What sound does a pool make when someone you don't like jumps in?

DOOOOUUUUCCCCHHHEEEEEE!

What is Son Goku's least liked food?

Vegetta balls

Why did Ally refuse to do her homework, when all she had left was to square the x and y axis?

Cause Allies don't like axis powers

How do you know a girl with leprosy likes you?

She gives you the eye.

What did the shoe say about the customer who didn't like that it had yellow shoestring?

That's lacist.

What do you call a Jamaican who likes spaghetti?

A Pastafarian.

What does a belt like to do?

Getting Waisted

What's it like to have a social life?

Asking for a friend.

What do you call a fish that likes to cook?

Bobby Fillet

What do you call a guy who likes touching unripened cheese?

A fetaphile

Why do some people like to date pessimists?

All that salt must make them thirsty.

What game do French schoolchildren like to play?

Simon 16

Where do dock workers like to shop?

Crate and Barrel.

What type of sushi does Bob Seger like?

That Old Thai Moroccan Roll.

What do dolphins like to listen to?

Podcasts.

Why doesn't God like pizza?

Because he doesn't exist.

What does Facebook and a conversation between two teenagers have in common?

A lot of likes

What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

How is the world like a bag of jellybeans?

Nobody likes the black ones.

How does Dr. Dre like to be told a story?

Chronic-logically.

Why don't women like to wear dresses in the winter?

Chapped lips

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. We are efficient and don't like humour.

What's the real reason Mr. Clean is always smiling?

He likes it dirty.

Why didn't Ronald McDonald like to go fishing?

Because every time he did, he'd catch a whopper.

Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy?

The mafia doesn't like witnesses.

Which of the Three R's does this subreddit like to do the most?

Reuse.

What do you call a person who likes white rice, and not brown rice?

A ricest.

What do you call a girl who likes men with small d**ks?

Your girlfriend!

How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven - one to actually change the bulb and six to complain that they liked the old one better.

What does a sheep call a film it doesn't like?

a baaahhhd movie. ( )

Why do black people like to "whip" when dancing?

Because for one they aren't on the receiving end! Yes I know i am being racist, so dont point it out

This joke may have profanity.

Why do you call someone who doesn't like the ideas in Islam?

A Racist!

What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving?

I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

What are the first words Jared Fogle's girlfriend said to him?

Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies, sir?"

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

What Do People Have In Common With Jellybeans?

Nobody likes the black ones.

What did the phone say to the other phone after a bad rejection?

If you like it then you shudda put a ringtone on it.

Why didn't the tree like to play checkers?

Because it was a chesnut tree.

What does a drug addict like to do in their free time?

Netflix and pills :D

Why did the short vampire like to gamble?

Because the stakes were high!

Why did James Bond higher a man with Parkinson's to be his butler?

He likes his drinks shaken, not stirred.

Who is there?

A person that likes to tell anti jokes.

What do you have left after you burn a French alphabet?

H Edit: I don't like explaining jokes but since the first guy didn't get I might as well: When pronounced in a French accent it sounds like ash.

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