What's it like to have a social life?

Asking for a friend.

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Why are Eskimos always alone?

Because they like being ice-olated

What do you call someone with March Madness who doesn't even like basketball?

A hypochondriac

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What did the llama say when asked to a picnic?

Alpaca lunch!

What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!"

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Which kind?

Friend: "Motivational."

What's the best way to make friends?

tell a woman you love her and she says "i think we're just friends..."