What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

What happens if you feed Link some Speed?

you get a Hyperlink ...

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the programmer die in the shower?

He followed the shampoo instructions.

Why are there fences around cemeteries?

people are dying to get in.

Almond Jokes More Almond Jokes

What does a scientologist and an almond have in common?

They are both nuts.

Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?

When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

How does a man keep his youth?

A: By giving her money furs and diamonds.