What has four limbs in the morning, two limbs in the afternoon, and is dead by evening?

A disobedient slave.

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Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Who knocks on doors at three in the morning?

It's so inconsiderate! Good thing I was still up playing my bagpipes.

How do fallopian tubes like there eggs in the morning?

Ovary-sy

Evening Jokes More Evening Jokes

What's the opposite of evening?

unevening.

What losses its head in the morning and gets it back in the evening?

A pillow

Limb Jokes More Limb Jokes

How is my wife doing?

Doctor: I'm so sorry. The accident has left her in a vegetative-like state and I don't think she'll ever recover. She can barely move her limbs, if at all, and will be confined to a bed or wheelchair without the ability to ever walk again. You'll need to care for her 24/7, clothe her, feed her, bathe her, and she'll have no control of her bladder or bowels. Again, I'm so, so, sorry... ..... ..... ..... Just kidding! She's dead.

What's the difference between a motivational speaker and a baseball player?

The baseball player has all of its limbs.

Afternoon Jokes More Afternoon Jokes

Why do heroine addicts rarely have meetings late in the afternoon?

Because it's dangerous to shoot for 3 or even 4.

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.