What would Valve call the next world war?

A Global Offensive.

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Who should we vote for the next president?

Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3.

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen

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What would Valve call the next world war?

A Global Offensive.

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"