Why did the chess master order a Russian bride?

He needed a Chech mate!

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What happens when you wear radioactive Russian underpants?

Cher nob'll fall out.

Where does a 19th century Russian imperialist get his coffee?

Tsarbucks.

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How many US Congressmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh, please. Like they've ever changed anything that needed it.

When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?

I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones