Dracula Jokes

Who had the best dinner with Megyn Kelly after the Fox Republican Debate?

Dracula.

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What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula?

Count Dracula."

Where does Dracula buy his writing supplies?

Pencilvania.

What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin?

Countdown This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share.

What do you call Dracula when he goes swimming?

Aqua-Vlad

Where does Dracula live?

Monte Cristo

What do Dracula's girlfriend and Mike Tyson have in common?

They both go down for the count!!

Why didn't Count Dracula get married?

He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?

Dracula's dentist.

Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math?

Because he likes to Count.

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening?

Have a nice bite!

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What is Dracula's favorite fruit?

Neck-tarines.

How can you tell when Dracula is sick?

By his coughin'

What does Dracula say to his victims?

It's been nice gnawing you.

How does Dracula keep fit?

He plays batminton.

What is Dracula's favorite pudding?

Leeches and scream.

Where is Dracula's American office?

The Vampire State Building.

Why did Dracula miss lunch?

Because he didn't fancy the stake.

What does Dracula say when you tell him a new fact?

Well fangcy that!

What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?

A bite in shining armor.

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

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What did Dracula say at the Christmas party ?

Fancy a bite

Which flavor ice cream is Dracula's favorite?

Vein-illa.

What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ?

Best vicious of the season

What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail?

The world's slowest vampire.

Why did Dracula need medicine?

Because he was coffin.

Why did Dracula go to the orthodontist?

He wanted to improve his bite.

Where does Dracula buy his pencils?

Pennsylvania.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with AI Capone?

A fangster.

What do you think of Dracula films?

Fangtastic!

Who does Dracula get letters from?

His fang club.

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Why is no one friends with Dracula?

Cause hes a pain in the neck.

Why does Dracula have no friends?

Because he's a pain in the neck.

What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2?

Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd

How does Dracula like to have his food served?

In bite-sized pieces.

What is Dracula's girlfriend called when she gives him head?

Down for the count!

What subject did Dracula major in during college?

AcCOUNTing This joke must be on a popsicle stick somewhere.

Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin?

Because his life is at stake.

What did they call Dracula when he won the league?

The champire!

What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold?

Coffin medicine.

How does Dracula get his hair so perfect without a mirror?

Oh questions about the job No I'm good."

Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin?

He made a grave mistake.