How many Hal 9000 computer systems does it take to change a lightbulb?

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I cannot do that"

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?

None--He'll only promise "change."

How many Carpathians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

Why won't the US change over to the Metric system?

Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters.

How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?

No one knows they never keep the house!