What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort?

You-knew-who

How would you feel if I die?

Husband: I will go mad with grief. Wife (a bit glad): You wouldn't remarry, would you Husband: You never know. A mad man can do anything!

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Where have you been all my life?

Please go back there.

What did the spider say to the bee ?

Your honey or your life !

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

How many Kardashians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one as the rest of the world simply MUST revolve around them...

How are men like carpet tiles?

If you lay them properly the first time around you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.