What does God do whenever he gets frustrated with Jesus?

He gets out the Bible Belt!

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Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting NAILED TO THE BOARDS!...

Why is Jesus happy people hang pictures of him?

It only takes one nail to put him on a wall.

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What kind of car does god drive?

A Christler

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!