Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

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Why did you leave me here all alone?

Where o where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found some one You met a zombie and pblblthpth you were gone.

How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish. I got this from bash.org a long time ago, but I can't find the original post, so have this

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What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

What looks like celery, tastes like celery, but isnt celery?

Artificial celery

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Why does toilet paper need a commercial?

Who is not buying this

What's it called when you go around looking for stuff to buy that's made in America?

Antiquing.

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Why are stormtroopers so bad at aiming?

Because they're playing on console.

What kind of venereal disease does a Stormtrooper get?

An AT-STD.