Why should you avoid people dressed as celery?

They could be stalking you!

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do happy people like to sleep in late?

Because they aren't mourning people. I just made this up!! Could you all help me with the wording? It feels like it could be a little better I just don't know how to word it differently while using the same "mourning" pun as the punch line.

What do people call Miley Cyrus in Europe?

Kilometery Cyrus

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

What do you get when you dress the Hulk in Captain America's clothes?

A Star-Spangled Banner.

What do you call it when someone admits to caring about how they dress?

A confashion.

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Just take some steps to avoid them!

Why did the commuter want the carpool driver to take the bridge?

To avoid car-pool tunnel!

Stalk Jokes More Stalk Jokes

Who are all these people Twitter wants me to follow?

Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!

What do you do in your free time?

I stalk. " "Really I go swimming and for long hikes" "I know.".

Celery Jokes More Celery Jokes

What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?

She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.

Why were all the other vegetables afraid of celery?

because celery stalks