How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy?

Abort mission!

What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?

Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it..."

Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

How do Hawaiians subtly enjoy a bad joke?

with a low "ha"

What's the difference between a joke and your friend's blog?

You enjoy it when a joke is posted on Facebook

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where do fortune tellers buy their clothes?

Sears.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

Birth Jokes More Birth Jokes

What day do most mothers give birth?

Labor day.

What is it called when someone gives birth to a 40 year old man?

A midwife crisis

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

Why will Michael B Jordan make a bad Human Torch?

Because it's supposed to be the Fantastic Four, not the Fantastic Fo'!

Adult Jokes More Adult Jokes

How do girls know when they are adults?

When they start to like spankings

How was I supposed to know they meant combined?

They really look like adults, especially the 20-years old