What do a baby and a martini have in common?

I prefer both of them shaken

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Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What does a Russian woman say to stop her husband from abusing her?

Vladislov, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more... I'm sorry..

Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs?

It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

Why did the witch get a car with manual transmission?

Because she prefers to drive stick!

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.

Martini Jokes More Martini Jokes

How does a barnacle like its martinis?

On the rocks.

Why is James Bond's favourite bartender played by Michael J Fox?

He doesn't need to tell him to shake the martini.

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What do you call a dance party in Colorado?

Shake 'n Bake.

What does Taylor Swift tell her boyfriend when he gets toilet paper stuck on his arse?

Shake it off